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These aren't your friends okayThey like you because you're buying them drinksPeople like you don't have friends
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Identity Thief

These aren't your friends. They like you because you're buying them drinks. People like...

Bartender:
These aren't your friends. They like you because you're buying them drinks. People like you don't have friends

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:03.287
These aren't your friends okay
00:00:03.044 --> 00:00:06.025
They like you because you're buying them drinks
00:00:06.004 --> 00:00:08.402
People like you don't have friends
Available in 6 languages
Duration
9 seconds
Views
372
Timestamp in Movie
00:03:51
Uploaded
Mar 12, 2026
Genres
comedy, crime, drama
Production
Stuber Pictures,Aggregate Films,DumbDumb,Universal Pictures,Georgia Entertainment Industries

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Movie Summary

Mild mannered businessman Sandy Patterson travels from Denver to Florida to confront the deceptively harmless looking woman who has been living it up after stealing Sandy's identity.

Actors

Ryan Gaul
Bartender
Ryan Gaul
I think we're really hitting it off. - Identity Thief 00:17
I think we're really hitting it off.
You're gonna get promoted. - Identity Thief 00:28
You're gonna get promoted.
Oh! I have one more present for you to unwrap. - Identity Thief 00:15
Oh! I have one more present for you to unwrap.
- Patterson. - Hi, good morning. - Identity Thief 00:22
- Patterson. - Hi, good morning.
Patterson. - Identity Thief 00:23
Patterson.
(SIGHING) - Identity Thief 00:06
(SIGHING)
Sandy Patterson. - Identity Thief 00:36
Sandy Patterson.
What's this? - Identity Thief 00:06
What's this?
When are you doing this? - Identity Thief 00:09
When are you doing this?
Could I have everybody's attention please? - Identity Thief 00:47
Could I have everybody's attention please?
I am. Who said that? I did. Sandy. Anybody else want to join him? All he's got are threats, people. - Identity Thief 00:22
I am. Who said that? I did. Sandy. Anybody else want to join...
Oh! Boy, that's nice. That looks good, that looks good. I lost my wedding ring. Shh! Fifteen years o - Identity Thief 00:26
Oh! Boy, that's nice. That looks good, that looks good....
Yeah, he's kind of the big guy for teeth. - Identity Thief 00:24
Yeah, he's kind of the big guy for teeth.
There we go, okay. - Identity Thief 00:06
There we go, okay.
There we go, okay. - Identity Thief 00:31
There we go, okay.
Ma'am? Ma'am. What the fuck? Ma'am, your card was declined. Oh, yeah. Here, use this one. That one's - Identity Thief 00:16
Ma'am? Ma'am. What the fuck? Ma'am, your card...
Hi. Good morning. Something wrong with pump five. It's not taking my card. Thanks. - Identity Thief 00:09
Hi. Good morning. Something wrong with pump five. It's...
You don't pay your bills, man. - Identity Thief 00:35
You don't pay your bills, man.
- Damn it. - Identity Thief 00:15
- Damn it.
Hi, I'm Sandy... - Identity Thief 00:15
Hi, I'm Sandy...