What do we need a mattress for? What do you mean what do we need a mattress for? Why in...
Join the conversation
Log in or create an account to leave a comment
Log In
Mac: What do we need a mattress for?
Dennis Reynolds: What do you mean what do we need a mattress for? Why in the hell do you think we just spent all that money on a boat? The whole purpose of buying the boat in the first place was to get the ladies nice and tipsy topside so we can take 'em to a nice comfortable place below deck and, you know, they can't refuse, because of the implication.
Mac: Oh, uh... okay. You had me going there for the first part. The second half kinda threw me.
Dennis Reynolds: Well, dude, dude, think about it. She's out in the middle of nowhere with some dude she barely knows. You know, she looks around and what does she see? Nothin' but open ocean. "Ahh, there's nowhere for me to run! What am I gonna do, say no?"
Mac: Okay. That... that seems really dark.
Dennis Reynolds: Nah, no, it's not dark. You're misunderstanding me, bro.
Mac: I'm-I think I am.
Dennis Reynolds: Yeah, you are, because if the girl said no then the answer obviously is no...
Mac: No. Right.
Dennis Reynolds: But the thing is she's not gonna say no; she would never say no because of the implication.
Mac: ...Now, you've said that word "implication" a couple of times. Wha-what implication?
Dennis Reynolds: The implication that things might go wrong for her if she refuses to sleep with me. Now, not that things are gonna go wrong for her, but she's thinkin' that they will.
Mac: But it sounds like she doesn't wanna have sex with you...
Dennis Reynolds: Why aren't you understanding this? She-she doesn't know if she wants to have sex with me! That's not the issue...
Mac: Are you gonna hurt women?
Dennis Reynolds: I'm not gonna hurt these women! Why would I ever hurt these women? I feel like you're not getting this at all!
Mac: I'm not getting it.
Dennis Reynolds: Goddamn.
[notices old woman staring at them]
Dennis Reynolds: Well, don't you look at me like that. You certainly wouldn't be in any danger.
Mac: So they are in danger!
Dennis Reynolds: No one's in any danger!
Dennis Reynolds: What do you mean what do we need a mattress for? Why in the hell do you think we just spent all that money on a boat? The whole purpose of buying the boat in the first place was to get the ladies nice and tipsy topside so we can take 'em to a nice comfortable place below deck and, you know, they can't refuse, because of the implication.
Mac: Oh, uh... okay. You had me going there for the first part. The second half kinda threw me.
Dennis Reynolds: Well, dude, dude, think about it. She's out in the middle of nowhere with some dude she barely knows. You know, she looks around and what does she see? Nothin' but open ocean. "Ahh, there's nowhere for me to run! What am I gonna do, say no?"
Mac: Okay. That... that seems really dark.
Dennis Reynolds: Nah, no, it's not dark. You're misunderstanding me, bro.
Mac: I'm-I think I am.
Dennis Reynolds: Yeah, you are, because if the girl said no then the answer obviously is no...
Mac: No. Right.
Dennis Reynolds: But the thing is she's not gonna say no; she would never say no because of the implication.
Mac: ...Now, you've said that word "implication" a couple of times. Wha-what implication?
Dennis Reynolds: The implication that things might go wrong for her if she refuses to sleep with me. Now, not that things are gonna go wrong for her, but she's thinkin' that they will.
Mac: But it sounds like she doesn't wanna have sex with you...
Dennis Reynolds: Why aren't you understanding this? She-she doesn't know if she wants to have sex with me! That's not the issue...
Mac: Are you gonna hurt women?
Dennis Reynolds: I'm not gonna hurt these women! Why would I ever hurt these women? I feel like you're not getting this at all!
Mac: I'm not getting it.
Dennis Reynolds: Goddamn.
[notices old woman staring at them]
Dennis Reynolds: Well, don't you look at me like that. You certainly wouldn't be in any danger.
Mac: So they are in danger!
Dennis Reynolds: No one's in any danger!
Full Transcript
00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:01.599
What
00:00:01.667 --> 00:00:04.068
I get in there I just bob around like a cauliflower
00:00:04.136 --> 00:00:05.436
Don't give me lines man
00:00:05.504 --> 00:00:07.438
Jump in the ocean and get the damn keys
00:00:07.506 --> 00:00:08.439
No I'm not going in
00:00:09.175 --> 00:00:10.475
Charlie I'm not going in
00:00:10.543 --> 00:00:12.277
It's your boat You go on in
00:00:12.344 --> 00:00:13.678
You son of a bitch
00:00:13.746 --> 00:00:15.068
All right
00:00:24.152 --> 00:00:24.785
Yo
00:00:24.852 --> 00:00:25.685
Hey buddy
00:00:25.753 --> 00:00:29.122
Uh I got us some turpentine some wax and some high gloss boat paint
00:00:29.019 --> 00:00:30.457
This shit is really expensive
00:00:30.525 --> 00:00:31.591
Oh dude you're telling me
00:00:31.659 --> 00:00:33.927
I picked us up some new slacks and docksiders so we could have
00:00:33.995 --> 00:00:35.962
the right look you know and fit in and everything
00:00:36.001 --> 00:00:38.498
We're running pretty low on remaining dick towel money though
00:00:38.566 --> 00:00:40.967
Plus we got to fill that thing up with gas and I know man
00:00:41.997 --> 00:00:42.903
We got to pop by the department store pick up the mattress
00:00:42.097 --> 00:00:43.904
I want to get a nice one too
00:00:43.971 --> 00:00:44.671
You know what I'm saying
00:00:44.739 --> 00:00:45.806
The what The mattress
00:00:45.873 --> 00:00:46.706
What do we need a mattress for
00:00:46.774 --> 00:00:48.842
What do you mean what do we need a mattress for
00:00:48.091 --> 00:00:51.912
Why in the hell do you think we just spent all that money on a boat
00:00:51.979 --> 00:00:53.713
The whole purpose of buying the boat in the first place was to
00:00:53.781 --> 00:00:56.055
get the ladies nice and tipsy topside so we can take them to
00:00:56.617 --> 00:01:00.022
a nice comfortable place below deck and you know they can't refuse
00:01:00.288 --> 00:01:03.997
Because of the implication
00:01:03.124 --> 00:01:05.137
Oh Uh okay
00:01:05.999 --> 00:01:07.205
You had me going for the first part
00:01:07.248 --> 00:01:08.095
but the second half kind of threw me
00:01:09.993 --> 00:01:09.999
Well dude dude think about it
00:01:10.006 --> 00:01:12.001
She's out in the middle of nowhere with some dude she barely knows
00:01:12.834 --> 00:01:14.334
She looks around and what does she see
00:01:14.402 --> 00:01:15.402
Nothing but open ocean
00:01:15.047 --> 00:01:17.999
Ah there's nowhere for me to run
00:01:17.001 --> 00:01:19.357
What am I going to do say no
00:01:20.182 --> 00:01:20.089
Okay
00:01:22.643 --> 00:01:23.577
That seems really dark
00:01:23.001 --> 00:01:24.999
No it's not dark
00:01:24.545 --> 00:01:25.545
You're misunderstanding me bro
00:01:25.613 --> 00:01:26.246
I think I am
00:01:26.999 --> 00:01:26.098
Yeah you are
00:01:27.002 --> 00:01:29.149
Because if the girl said no then the answer obviously is no
00:01:29.217 --> 00:01:29.816
No
00:01:29.884 --> 00:01:31.351
But the thing is she's not going to say no
00:01:31.419 --> 00:01:34.488
She would never say no because of the implication
00:01:36.001 --> 00:01:39.759
Now you said that word implication a couple of times
00:01:39.827 --> 00:01:41.294
What what implication
00:01:41.999 --> 00:01:44.993
The implication that things might go wrong for her if she
00:01:44.131 --> 00:01:45.565
refuses to sleep with me
00:01:45.633 --> 00:01:48.101
You know not that things are going to go wrong for her but
00:01:48.169 --> 00:01:49.369
she's thinking that they will
00:01:49.437 --> 00:01:52.105
But it sounds like she doesn't want to have sex with you
00:01:52.173 --> 00:01:53.999
Why aren't you understanding this
00:01:53.001 --> 00:01:55.999
I don't She doesn't know whether she wants to have sex with me
00:01:56.005 --> 00:01:56.061
She doesn't know
00:01:56.001 --> 00:01:57.277
That's not the issue
00:01:57.345 --> 00:01:58.996
Are you going to hurt women
00:01:58.994 --> 00:01:59.379
I'm not going to hurt these women
00:01:59.447 --> 00:02:00.006
Oh okay
00:02:00.114 --> 00:02:01.381
Why would I ever hurt these women
00:02:01.449 --> 00:02:02.002
I don't know
00:02:02.116 --> 00:02:03.055
I feel like you're not getting this at all
00:02:03.999 --> 00:02:04.518
I'm not getting it
00:02:04.999 --> 00:02:05.919
Goddamn
00:02:05.999 --> 00:02:06.887
Don't you look at me like that
00:02:06.999 --> 00:02:08.755
You certainly wouldn't be in any danger
00:02:08.001 --> 00:02:09.489
So they are in danger
00:02:09.999 --> 00:02:10.001
No one's in any danger
Want This Clip in HD?
Upgrade for HD/4K downloads and unlimited access. Upgrade now →
Movie Summary
Five friends with big egos and small brains are the proprietors of an Irish pub in Philadelphia.
![- [ Mac ] - It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia](https://clip.cafe/img400/mac.jpg)
