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If you do not know that you are meant to butter your toast
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Jack Whitehall: I'm Only Joking

If you do not knowthat you are meant to butter your toast after it has been toasted, you...

If you do not know
that you are meant to butter your toast after it has been toasted, you should not be allowed
anywhere near a toaster, unless you are taking it with you
into a bath

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:05.044
If you do not know that you are meant to butter your toast
00:00:05.076 --> 00:00:07.084
after it has been toasted,
00:00:08.048 --> 00:00:11.048
you should not be allowed anywhere near a toaster,
00:00:11.084 --> 00:00:15.016
unless you are taking it with you into a bath.
Duration
15 seconds
Views
49
Timestamp in Movie
00:05:56
Uploaded
May 30, 2025
Genres
comedy
Production
N/A

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Movie Summary

Jack Whitehall hits the stage with hilarious tales about happy couples, life in hotels, human stupidity and his well-traveled father.
To be fair, right? This sign was affixed to the worst invention - Jack Whitehall: I'm Only Joking 00:07
To be fair, right? This sign was affixed to the worst invent...
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the hotel... - Jack Whitehall: I'm Only Joking 00:05
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the hotel...
No one in this entire 10,000-strong arena - Jack Whitehall: I'm Only Joking 00:12
No one in this entire 10,000-strong arena
And handily fitted with a small window, - Jack Whitehall: I'm Only Joking 00:09
And handily fitted with a small window,
There is literally no setting to get it right. - Jack Whitehall: I'm Only Joking 00:05
There is literally no setting to get it right.
It's like putting a ginger on a sunbed, it's impossible. - Jack Whitehall: I'm Only Joking 00:04
It's like putting a ginger on a sunbed, it's impos...
And there's always a queue out into the lobby - Jack Whitehall: I'm Only Joking 00:08
And there's always a queue out into the lobby
A bagel? Are you out of your fucking mind, Granddad? - Jack Whitehall: I'm Only Joking 00:05
A bagel? Are you out of your fucking mind, Granddad?
If you wanted a bagel toasted in that machine in time for breakfast, - Jack Whitehall: I'm Only Joking 00:07
If you wanted a bagel toasted in that machine in time for br...
By the time that's toast, you might be as well. - Jack Whitehall: I'm Only Joking 00:04
By the time that's toast, you might be as well.
Then it's like they went: - Jack Whitehall: I'm Only Joking 00:05
Then it's like they went:
I know, let's have your piece of crappy toast - Jack Whitehall: I'm Only Joking 00:18
I know, let's have your piece of crappy toast
"Oh, this is going to be a slippery catch to take." - Jack Whitehall: I'm Only Joking 00:09
"Oh, this is going to be a slippery catch to take."...
The worst sign that I saw was in the same hotel, but it was by the pool. - Jack Whitehall: I'm Only Joking 00:05
The worst sign that I saw was in the same hotel, but it was ...
I went down to the hotel pool - Jack Whitehall: I'm Only Joking 00:12
I went down to the hotel pool
It read like this: - Jack Whitehall: I'm Only Joking 00:11
It read like this:
Well, thank you very much for putting me off this, - Jack Whitehall: I'm Only Joking 00:07
Well, thank you very much for putting me off this,
How is that something that we need a sign to remind us of? - Jack Whitehall: I'm Only Joking 00:05
How is that something that we need a sign to remind us of?
Don't get me wrong, I like swimming as much as the next man. - Jack Whitehall: I'm Only Joking 00:05
Don't get me wrong, I like swimming as much as the next...
But I accept that if I am in the clutches of an attack... - Jack Whitehall: I'm Only Joking 00:04
But I accept that if I am in the clutches of an attack...