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If you wanted a bagel toasted in that machine in time for breakfast
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Jack Whitehall: I'm Only Joking

If you wanted a bagel toastedin that machine in time for breakfast, it needed to go in a...

If you wanted a bagel toasted
in that machine in time for breakfast, it needed to go in a week ago

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:04.008
If you wanted a bagel toasted in that machine in time for breakfast,
00:00:04.096 --> 00:00:07.002
it needed to go in a week ago.
Duration
7 seconds
Views
51
Timestamp in Movie
00:07:43
Uploaded
May 27, 2025
Genres
comedy
Production
N/A

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Movie Summary

Jack Whitehall hits the stage with hilarious tales about happy couples, life in hotels, human stupidity and his well-traveled father.
By the time that's toast, you might be as well. - Jack Whitehall: I'm Only Joking 00:04
By the time that's toast, you might be as well.
Then it's like they went: - Jack Whitehall: I'm Only Joking 00:05
Then it's like they went:
I know, let's have your piece of crappy toast - Jack Whitehall: I'm Only Joking 00:18
I know, let's have your piece of crappy toast
"Oh, this is going to be a slippery catch to take." - Jack Whitehall: I'm Only Joking 00:09
"Oh, this is going to be a slippery catch to take."...
The worst sign that I saw was in the same hotel, but it was by the pool. - Jack Whitehall: I'm Only Joking 00:05
The worst sign that I saw was in the same hotel, but it was ...
I went down to the hotel pool - Jack Whitehall: I'm Only Joking 00:12
I went down to the hotel pool
It read like this: - Jack Whitehall: I'm Only Joking 00:11
It read like this:
Well, thank you very much for putting me off this, - Jack Whitehall: I'm Only Joking 00:07
Well, thank you very much for putting me off this,
How is that something that we need a sign to remind us of? - Jack Whitehall: I'm Only Joking 00:05
How is that something that we need a sign to remind us of?
Don't get me wrong, I like swimming as much as the next man. - Jack Whitehall: I'm Only Joking 00:05
Don't get me wrong, I like swimming as much as the next...
But I accept that if I am in the clutches of an attack... - Jack Whitehall: I'm Only Joking 00:04
But I accept that if I am in the clutches of an attack...
Of active diarrhea, - Jack Whitehall: I'm Only Joking 00:09
Of active diarrhea,
Swimming, - Jack Whitehall: I'm Only Joking 00:11
Swimming,
I personally am the kind of person that lives his life governed by the fear - Jack Whitehall: I'm Only Joking 00:09
I personally am the kind of person that lives his life gover...
Case in point, every time I'm in a car - Jack Whitehall: I'm Only Joking 00:15
Case in point, every time I'm in a car
Active diarrhea. As opposed to what? - Jack Whitehall: I'm Only Joking 00:05
Active diarrhea. As opposed to what?
My great-grandfather traveled to India, picked up a bit of the old Delhi belly, - Jack Whitehall: I'm Only Joking 00:18
My great-grandfather traveled to India, picked up a bit of t...
If that is the case, and for some baffling reason - Jack Whitehall: I'm Only Joking 00:16
If that is the case, and for some baffling reason
"What's this? 'No running, no diving...' But ah, yes, nothing about shitting. - Jack Whitehall: I'm Only Joking 00:05
"What's this? 'No running, no...
Well, bombs away." - Jack Whitehall: I'm Only Joking 00:12
Well, bombs away."