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I'm going to live ten years longer than you.
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Jack Whitehall: I'm Only Joking

I'm going to liveten years longer than you." "Yeah, not if you keep calling...

I'm going to live
ten years longer than you." "Yeah, not if you keep calling yourself
plant-positive around me

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:03.048
I'm going to live ten years longer than you."
00:00:03.092 --> 00:00:07.036
"Yeah, not if you keep calling yourself plant-positive around me.
Duration
7 seconds
Views
19
Timestamp in Movie
00:17:53
Uploaded
May 27, 2025
Genres
comedy
Production
N/A

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Movie Summary

Jack Whitehall hits the stage with hilarious tales about happy couples, life in hotels, human stupidity and his well-traveled father.
Actually, I won't even need to smother you now. You're a vegan. - Jack Whitehall: I'm Only Joking 00:04
Actually, I won't even need to smother you now. You...
I'll just place the cushion on your face, you'll be too weak to lift it off." - Jack Whitehall: I'm Only Joking 00:05
I'll just place the cushion on your face, you'll b...
"You're suffocating me." - Jack Whitehall: I'm Only Joking 00:07
"You're suffocating me."
I'm going to get booed off stage in a hail of tofu. I-- - Jack Whitehall: I'm Only Joking 00:09
I'm going to get booed off stage in a hail of tofu. I--
Because there is no denying, your life choice, - Jack Whitehall: I'm Only Joking 00:07
Because there is no denying, your life choice,
I also know why... human beings have a pop at vegans. - Jack Whitehall: I'm Only Joking 00:05
I also know why... human beings have a pop at vegans.
It's a very simple human instinct. As human beings, - Jack Whitehall: I'm Only Joking 00:10
It's a very simple human instinct. As human beings,
Someone that's become a vegan, someone that's given up drinking, - Jack Whitehall: I'm Only Joking 00:09
Someone that's become a vegan, someone that's give...
Your mouth goes: "Oh, good for you." - Jack Whitehall: I'm Only Joking 00:10
Your mouth goes: "Oh, good for you."
Because we don't want people #LivingTheirBestLife. - Jack Whitehall: I'm Only Joking 00:04
Because we don't want people #LivingTheirBestLife.
We want them #LivingASlightlyShittierLifeThanUs, - Jack Whitehall: I'm Only Joking 00:08
We want them #LivingASlightlyShittierLifeThanUs,
That's why all those dickheads get wound up by Greta Thunberg. - Jack Whitehall: I'm Only Joking 00:04
That's why all those dickheads get wound up by Greta Th...
I mean, talk about living your best life. She has put the entire world to shame. - Jack Whitehall: I'm Only Joking 00:07
I mean, talk about living your best life. She has put the en...
That girl is a boss. She is a child. Yes. - Jack Whitehall: I'm Only Joking 00:06
That girl is a boss. She is a child. Yes.
[cheering] - Jack Whitehall: I'm Only Joking 00:08
[cheering]
She's at the UN, telling them: - Jack Whitehall: I'm Only Joking 00:13
She's at the UN, telling them:
We also have no excuse now. It's never been easier - Jack Whitehall: I'm Only Joking 00:06
We also have no excuse now. It's never been easier
Not Waitrose, or Whole Foods, before you start judging me. - Jack Whitehall: I'm Only Joking 00:06
Not Waitrose, or Whole Foods, before you start judging me.
After my last tour, my manager took me aside and said: - Jack Whitehall: I'm Only Joking 00:07
After my last tour, my manager took me aside and said:
If you ever want to be a comedian you know, a man of the people, - Jack Whitehall: I'm Only Joking 00:07
If you ever want to be a comedian you know, a man of the peo...