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You can have it from a bean, pulse, nut, grain, oat, lax
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Jack Whitehall: I'm Only Joking

You can have it from a bean,pulse, nut, grain, oat, lax, from a leaf, seed, tree." "I'd...

You can have it from a bean,
pulse, nut, grain, oat, lax, from a leaf, seed, tree." [laughter, applause] "I'd like it from a nipple, please." "I don't care what type of nipple.
Preferably a cow's, but I'm not fussy

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:04.028
You can have it from a bean, pulse, nut, grain, oat, lax,
00:00:04.036 --> 00:00:06.016
from a leaf, seed, tree."
00:00:07.068 --> 00:00:10.052
[laughter, applause]
00:00:13.036 --> 00:00:15.024
"I'd like it from a nipple, please."
00:00:16.072 --> 00:00:20.052
"I don't care what type of nipple. Preferably a cow's, but I'm not fussy.
Duration
21 seconds
Views
42
Timestamp in Movie
00:12:31
Uploaded
May 27, 2025
Genres
comedy
Production
N/A

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Movie Summary

Jack Whitehall hits the stage with hilarious tales about happy couples, life in hotels, human stupidity and his well-traveled father.
I'll take it from whatever nipple I can get." - Jack Whitehall: I'm Only Joking 00:07
I'll take it from whatever nipple I can get."
Like I was the weirdo. I'm not the weirdo. - Jack Whitehall: I'm Only Joking 00:04
Like I was the weirdo. I'm not the weirdo.
You're the one in the back of the shop with your friends, - Jack Whitehall: I'm Only Joking 00:07
You're the one in the back of the shop with your friend...
I do not, for one moment, doubt that lactose intolerance - Jack Whitehall: I'm Only Joking 00:08
I do not, for one moment, doubt that lactose intolerance
But lest I remind you, we currently don't have a cure for cancer, - Jack Whitehall: I'm Only Joking 00:14
But lest I remind you, we currently don't have a cure f...
But I'm about to hit you up - Jack Whitehall: I'm Only Joking 00:05
But I'm about to hit you up
Milk must come... from a tit. - Jack Whitehall: I'm Only Joking 00:04
Milk must come... from a tit.
Last time I checked, the almond? Pretty flat-chested. - Jack Whitehall: I'm Only Joking 00:04
Last time I checked, the almond? Pretty flat-chested.
You are drinking... nut juice. - Jack Whitehall: I'm Only Joking 00:04
You are drinking... nut juice.
Oh, dear. [laughs] - Jack Whitehall: I'm Only Joking 00:05
Oh, dear. [laughs]
[giggles] - Jack Whitehall: I'm Only Joking 00:05
[giggles]
I bring this up 'cause I was in the northeast of England - Jack Whitehall: I'm Only Joking 00:09
I bring this up 'cause I was in the northeast of Englan...
It was amazing. There was a slightly older gentleman - Jack Whitehall: I'm Only Joking 00:06
It was amazing. There was a slightly older gentleman
And my tour manager, Johnny, asked him about the milk situation. - Jack Whitehall: I'm Only Joking 00:05
And my tour manager, Johnny, asked him about the milk situat...
He was like: "Excuse me, what are the milk options?" - Jack Whitehall: I'm Only Joking 00:06
He was like: "Excuse me, what are the milk options?&quo...
Where are the dairy drinkers in? Who's a dairy drinker here this evening? - Jack Whitehall: I'm Only Joking 00:04
Where are the dairy drinkers in? Who's a dairy drinker ...
[cheering] - Jack Whitehall: I'm Only Joking 00:05
[cheering]
Seriously. Watch as we get slowly ostracized from society. - Jack Whitehall: I'm Only Joking 00:05
Seriously. Watch as we get slowly ostracized from society.
They'll give us our own designated areas to go and drink our dirty titty milk in. - Jack Whitehall: I'm Only Joking 00:05
They'll give us our own designated areas to go and drin...
You'll go into the supermarket, pick up a carton of milk, - Jack Whitehall: I'm Only Joking 00:16
You'll go into the supermarket, pick up a carton of mil...