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Can you imagine me in a park
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Jack Whitehall: Settle Down

Can you imagine me in a park, a little toy poodle yapping around,me being like, "Beyoncé!...

Can you imagine me in a park, a little toy poodle yapping around,
me being like, "Beyoncé! Hey, Beyoncé!" "You come back to your daddy!" No, I'm sorry.
I'd sooner let the dog just run away

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:03.004
Can you imagine me in a park,
00:00:03.119 --> 00:00:07.076
a little toy poodle yapping around, me being like, "Beyoncé! Hey, Beyoncé!"
00:00:07.084 --> 00:00:09.639
"You come back to your daddy!"
00:00:09.072 --> 00:00:12.092
No, I'm sorry. I'd sooner let the dog just run away.
Duration
14 seconds
Views
33
Timestamp in Movie
00:34:13
Uploaded
Apr 09, 2025
Genres
documentary, comedy
Production
N/A

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Movie Summary

Jack Whitehall takes the stage at London's O2 Arena to riff on dogs, drinking, dining alone, and finally deciding to settle down and become a father.
"Oh my God, Jack, what happened to the dog?" - Jack Whitehall: Settle Down 00:07
"Oh my God, Jack, what happened to the dog?"
She's like, "No, you should treat the dog just like you'd treat our actual child." - Jack Whitehall: Settle Down 00:14
She's like, "No, you should treat the dog just lik...
I was like, "It's not a rescue dog. I paid a woman on the Internet for it." - Jack Whitehall: Settle Down 00:09
I was like, "It's not a rescue dog. I paid a woman...
This woman, the breeder. Oh my God, she saw us coming a mile off. - Jack Whitehall: Settle Down 00:06
This woman, the breeder. Oh my God, she saw us coming a mile...
I was like, "Nice to meet a fellow comedian." - Jack Whitehall: Settle Down 00:09
I was like, "Nice to meet a fellow comedian."
You are getting negotiated down, don't you worry about that. - Jack Whitehall: Settle Down 00:05
You are getting negotiated down, don't you worry about ...
I'd been warned, don't do it in person, - Jack Whitehall: Settle Down 00:09
I'd been warned, don't do it in person,
I said, "We'll do a Zoom." - Jack Whitehall: Settle Down 00:07
I said, "We'll do a Zoom."
So we arranged a Zoom so that Roxy could see the dog, - Jack Whitehall: Settle Down 00:09
So we arranged a Zoom so that Roxy could see the dog,
I said, "It's vitally important when we get onto Zoom with this charlatan, - Jack Whitehall: Settle Down 00:21
I said, "It's vitally important when we get onto Z...
"Oh my God!" - Jack Whitehall: Settle Down 00:27
"Oh my God!"
I paid six grand for a barking toilet brush. - Jack Whitehall: Settle Down 00:06
I paid six grand for a barking toilet brush.
The breeder dropped it round a week later. She's outside my house in her new Porsche. - Jack Whitehall: Settle Down 00:06
The breeder dropped it round a week later. She's outsid...
"Hi!" "Fuck you." - Jack Whitehall: Settle Down 00:07
"Hi!" "Fuck you."
It's got an underbite. It's got breathing issues. - Jack Whitehall: Settle Down 00:05
It's got an underbite. It's got breathing issues.
Admittedly, "Hasn't got enough nipples" - Jack Whitehall: Settle Down 00:06
Admittedly, "Hasn't got enough nipples"
I don't care how many nipples a dog has, - Jack Whitehall: Settle Down 00:07
I don't care how many nipples a dog has,
There should be a divisible amount of nipples on a dog. - Jack Whitehall: Settle Down 00:05
There should be a divisible amount of nipples on a dog.
I was like, "Roxy, take a photograph of this animal's undercarriage, - Jack Whitehall: Settle Down 00:26
I was like, "Roxy, take a photograph of this animal...
For six grand, I was expecting it to be able to do cartwheels - Jack Whitehall: Settle Down 00:06
For six grand, I was expecting it to be able to do cartwheel...