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Jack Whitehall: Settle Down

"Don't do it, man. You weren't there!" I had one of this lot, the 'Nam vets,drunk at a...

"Don't do it, man. You weren't there!" I had one of this lot, the 'Nam vets,
drunk at a wedding, just launch into me
with a load of uninvited life advice

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:03.072
"Don't do it, man. You weren't there!"
00:00:05.016 --> 00:00:08.028
I had one of this lot, the 'Nam vets, drunk at a wedding,
00:00:08.036 --> 00:00:11.092
just launch into me with a load of uninvited life advice.
Duration
13 seconds
Views
30
Timestamp in Movie
00:31:46
Uploaded
Apr 09, 2025
Genres
documentary, comedy
Production
N/A

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Movie Summary

Jack Whitehall takes the stage at London's O2 Arena to riff on dogs, drinking, dining alone, and finally deciding to settle down and become a father.
She was like, "Let me tell you what you need to do, Jack, while you can." - Jack Whitehall: Settle Down 00:25
She was like, "Let me tell you what you need to do, Jac...
"You are aware this Sambuca you're drinking is non-alcoholic?" - Jack Whitehall: Settle Down 00:11
"You are aware this Sambuca you're drinking is non...
We had actually, quite sadly, been through some personal tragedy at the time, - Jack Whitehall: Settle Down 00:10
We had actually, quite sadly, been through some personal tra...
I was like, "Tell me about therapy." - Jack Whitehall: Settle Down 00:11
I was like, "Tell me about therapy."
You know, the kind of dog you might see tattooed onto the arm of a Millwall fan. - Jack Whitehall: Settle Down 00:07
You know, the kind of dog you might see tattooed onto the ar...
Kinda dog that gets you a little bit of distance and respect - Jack Whitehall: Settle Down 00:12
Kinda dog that gets you a little bit of distance and respect
I wanted a hound. This thing looks like it came out of a Kinder Surprise. - Jack Whitehall: Settle Down 00:06
I wanted a hound. This thing looks like it came out of a Kin...
It's the opposite of a guard dog. I've been abused because of my dog. - Jack Whitehall: Settle Down 00:05
It's the opposite of a guard dog. I've been abused...
He's like, "'Ere, mate, does your dog come in a men's?" - Jack Whitehall: Settle Down 00:08
He's like, "'Ere, mate, does your dog come in...
I was like, "I wouldn't judge a book by its cover, buddy." - Jack Whitehall: Settle Down 00:12
I was like, "I wouldn't judge a book by its cover,...
We got the lamest breed. "It's fine. We'll make up for it with the name." - Jack Whitehall: Settle Down 00:07
We got the lamest breed. "It's fine. We'll ma...
My girlfriend wanted to call our toy poodle - Jack Whitehall: Settle Down 00:06
My girlfriend wanted to call our toy poodle
That's when the foot came down. We're not having a dog called Beyoncé. - Jack Whitehall: Settle Down 00:06
That's when the foot came down. We're not having a...
Can you imagine me in a park, - Jack Whitehall: Settle Down 00:14
Can you imagine me in a park,
"Oh my God, Jack, what happened to the dog?" - Jack Whitehall: Settle Down 00:07
"Oh my God, Jack, what happened to the dog?"
She's like, "No, you should treat the dog just like you'd treat our actual child." - Jack Whitehall: Settle Down 00:14
She's like, "No, you should treat the dog just lik...
I was like, "It's not a rescue dog. I paid a woman on the Internet for it." - Jack Whitehall: Settle Down 00:09
I was like, "It's not a rescue dog. I paid a woman...
This woman, the breeder. Oh my God, she saw us coming a mile off. - Jack Whitehall: Settle Down 00:06
This woman, the breeder. Oh my God, she saw us coming a mile...
I was like, "Nice to meet a fellow comedian." - Jack Whitehall: Settle Down 00:09
I was like, "Nice to meet a fellow comedian."
You are getting negotiated down, don't you worry about that. - Jack Whitehall: Settle Down 00:05
You are getting negotiated down, don't you worry about ...