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Jack Whitehall: Settle Down

He's like, "'Ere, mate,does your dog come in a men's?" Ooh, fucking shots fired!

He's like, "'Ere, mate,
does your dog come in a men's?" Ooh, fucking shots fired!

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:04.002
He's like, "'Ere, mate, does your dog come in a men's?"
00:00:04.072 --> 00:00:07.044
Ooh, fucking shots fired!
Duration
8 seconds
Views
26
Timestamp in Movie
00:33:33
Uploaded
Apr 09, 2025
Genres
documentary, comedy
Production
N/A

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Movie Summary

Jack Whitehall takes the stage at London's O2 Arena to riff on dogs, drinking, dining alone, and finally deciding to settle down and become a father.
I was like, "I wouldn't judge a book by its cover, buddy." - Jack Whitehall: Settle Down 00:12
I was like, "I wouldn't judge a book by its cover,...
We got the lamest breed. "It's fine. We'll make up for it with the name." - Jack Whitehall: Settle Down 00:07
We got the lamest breed. "It's fine. We'll ma...
My girlfriend wanted to call our toy poodle - Jack Whitehall: Settle Down 00:06
My girlfriend wanted to call our toy poodle
That's when the foot came down. We're not having a dog called Beyoncé. - Jack Whitehall: Settle Down 00:06
That's when the foot came down. We're not having a...
Can you imagine me in a park, - Jack Whitehall: Settle Down 00:14
Can you imagine me in a park,
"Oh my God, Jack, what happened to the dog?" - Jack Whitehall: Settle Down 00:07
"Oh my God, Jack, what happened to the dog?"
She's like, "No, you should treat the dog just like you'd treat our actual child." - Jack Whitehall: Settle Down 00:14
She's like, "No, you should treat the dog just lik...
I was like, "It's not a rescue dog. I paid a woman on the Internet for it." - Jack Whitehall: Settle Down 00:09
I was like, "It's not a rescue dog. I paid a woman...
This woman, the breeder. Oh my God, she saw us coming a mile off. - Jack Whitehall: Settle Down 00:06
This woman, the breeder. Oh my God, she saw us coming a mile...
I was like, "Nice to meet a fellow comedian." - Jack Whitehall: Settle Down 00:09
I was like, "Nice to meet a fellow comedian."
You are getting negotiated down, don't you worry about that. - Jack Whitehall: Settle Down 00:05
You are getting negotiated down, don't you worry about ...
I'd been warned, don't do it in person, - Jack Whitehall: Settle Down 00:09
I'd been warned, don't do it in person,
I said, "We'll do a Zoom." - Jack Whitehall: Settle Down 00:07
I said, "We'll do a Zoom."
So we arranged a Zoom so that Roxy could see the dog, - Jack Whitehall: Settle Down 00:09
So we arranged a Zoom so that Roxy could see the dog,
I said, "It's vitally important when we get onto Zoom with this charlatan, - Jack Whitehall: Settle Down 00:21
I said, "It's vitally important when we get onto Z...
"Oh my God!" - Jack Whitehall: Settle Down 00:27
"Oh my God!"
I paid six grand for a barking toilet brush. - Jack Whitehall: Settle Down 00:06
I paid six grand for a barking toilet brush.
The breeder dropped it round a week later. She's outside my house in her new Porsche. - Jack Whitehall: Settle Down 00:06
The breeder dropped it round a week later. She's outsid...
"Hi!" "Fuck you." - Jack Whitehall: Settle Down 00:07
"Hi!" "Fuck you."
It's got an underbite. It's got breathing issues. - Jack Whitehall: Settle Down 00:05
It's got an underbite. It's got breathing issues.