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Jack Whitehall: Settle Down

I was like, "I wouldn't judge a bookby its cover, buddy." "You look at her the wrong...

I was like, "I wouldn't judge a book
by its cover, buddy." "You look at her the wrong way,
she will rip your throat out." "You'd better pray
she doesn't get out of this handbag."

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:03.052
I was like, "I wouldn't judge a book by its cover, buddy."
00:00:03.006 --> 00:00:06.096
"You look at her the wrong way, she will rip your throat out."
00:00:07.004 --> 00:00:10.056
"You'd better pray she doesn't get out of this handbag."
Duration
12 seconds
Views
25
Timestamp in Movie
00:33:39
Uploaded
Apr 09, 2025
Genres
documentary, comedy
Production
N/A

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Movie Summary

Jack Whitehall takes the stage at London's O2 Arena to riff on dogs, drinking, dining alone, and finally deciding to settle down and become a father.
We got the lamest breed. "It's fine. We'll make up for it with the name." - Jack Whitehall: Settle Down 00:07
We got the lamest breed. "It's fine. We'll ma...
My girlfriend wanted to call our toy poodle - Jack Whitehall: Settle Down 00:06
My girlfriend wanted to call our toy poodle
That's when the foot came down. We're not having a dog called Beyoncé. - Jack Whitehall: Settle Down 00:06
That's when the foot came down. We're not having a...
Can you imagine me in a park, - Jack Whitehall: Settle Down 00:14
Can you imagine me in a park,
"Oh my God, Jack, what happened to the dog?" - Jack Whitehall: Settle Down 00:07
"Oh my God, Jack, what happened to the dog?"
She's like, "No, you should treat the dog just like you'd treat our actual child." - Jack Whitehall: Settle Down 00:14
She's like, "No, you should treat the dog just lik...
I was like, "It's not a rescue dog. I paid a woman on the Internet for it." - Jack Whitehall: Settle Down 00:09
I was like, "It's not a rescue dog. I paid a woman...
This woman, the breeder. Oh my God, she saw us coming a mile off. - Jack Whitehall: Settle Down 00:06
This woman, the breeder. Oh my God, she saw us coming a mile...
I was like, "Nice to meet a fellow comedian." - Jack Whitehall: Settle Down 00:09
I was like, "Nice to meet a fellow comedian."
You are getting negotiated down, don't you worry about that. - Jack Whitehall: Settle Down 00:05
You are getting negotiated down, don't you worry about ...
I'd been warned, don't do it in person, - Jack Whitehall: Settle Down 00:09
I'd been warned, don't do it in person,
I said, "We'll do a Zoom." - Jack Whitehall: Settle Down 00:07
I said, "We'll do a Zoom."
So we arranged a Zoom so that Roxy could see the dog, - Jack Whitehall: Settle Down 00:09
So we arranged a Zoom so that Roxy could see the dog,
I said, "It's vitally important when we get onto Zoom with this charlatan, - Jack Whitehall: Settle Down 00:21
I said, "It's vitally important when we get onto Z...
"Oh my God!" - Jack Whitehall: Settle Down 00:27
"Oh my God!"
I paid six grand for a barking toilet brush. - Jack Whitehall: Settle Down 00:06
I paid six grand for a barking toilet brush.
The breeder dropped it round a week later. She's outside my house in her new Porsche. - Jack Whitehall: Settle Down 00:06
The breeder dropped it round a week later. She's outsid...
"Hi!" "Fuck you." - Jack Whitehall: Settle Down 00:07
"Hi!" "Fuck you."
It's got an underbite. It's got breathing issues. - Jack Whitehall: Settle Down 00:05
It's got an underbite. It's got breathing issues.
Admittedly, "Hasn't got enough nipples" - Jack Whitehall: Settle Down 00:06
Admittedly, "Hasn't got enough nipples"