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Jack Whitehall: Settle Down

"Oh my God, Jack,what happened to the dog?" "If you liked it,you should've put a lead on...

"Oh my God, Jack,
what happened to the dog?" "If you liked it,
you should've put a lead on it."

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:03.024
"Oh my God, Jack, what happened to the dog?"
00:00:03.032 --> 00:00:05.719
"If you liked it, you should've put a lead on it."
Duration
7 seconds
Views
34
Timestamp in Movie
00:34:27
Uploaded
Apr 09, 2025
Genres
documentary, comedy
Production
N/A

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Movie Summary

Jack Whitehall takes the stage at London's O2 Arena to riff on dogs, drinking, dining alone, and finally deciding to settle down and become a father.
She's like, "No, you should treat the dog just like you'd treat our actual child." - Jack Whitehall: Settle Down 00:14
She's like, "No, you should treat the dog just lik...
I was like, "It's not a rescue dog. I paid a woman on the Internet for it." - Jack Whitehall: Settle Down 00:09
I was like, "It's not a rescue dog. I paid a woman...
This woman, the breeder. Oh my God, she saw us coming a mile off. - Jack Whitehall: Settle Down 00:06
This woman, the breeder. Oh my God, she saw us coming a mile...
I was like, "Nice to meet a fellow comedian." - Jack Whitehall: Settle Down 00:09
I was like, "Nice to meet a fellow comedian."
You are getting negotiated down, don't you worry about that. - Jack Whitehall: Settle Down 00:05
You are getting negotiated down, don't you worry about ...
I'd been warned, don't do it in person, - Jack Whitehall: Settle Down 00:09
I'd been warned, don't do it in person,
I said, "We'll do a Zoom." - Jack Whitehall: Settle Down 00:07
I said, "We'll do a Zoom."
So we arranged a Zoom so that Roxy could see the dog, - Jack Whitehall: Settle Down 00:09
So we arranged a Zoom so that Roxy could see the dog,
I said, "It's vitally important when we get onto Zoom with this charlatan, - Jack Whitehall: Settle Down 00:21
I said, "It's vitally important when we get onto Z...
"Oh my God!" - Jack Whitehall: Settle Down 00:27
"Oh my God!"
I paid six grand for a barking toilet brush. - Jack Whitehall: Settle Down 00:06
I paid six grand for a barking toilet brush.
The breeder dropped it round a week later. She's outside my house in her new Porsche. - Jack Whitehall: Settle Down 00:06
The breeder dropped it round a week later. She's outsid...
"Hi!" "Fuck you." - Jack Whitehall: Settle Down 00:07
"Hi!" "Fuck you."
It's got an underbite. It's got breathing issues. - Jack Whitehall: Settle Down 00:05
It's got an underbite. It's got breathing issues.
Admittedly, "Hasn't got enough nipples" - Jack Whitehall: Settle Down 00:06
Admittedly, "Hasn't got enough nipples"
I don't care how many nipples a dog has, - Jack Whitehall: Settle Down 00:07
I don't care how many nipples a dog has,
There should be a divisible amount of nipples on a dog. - Jack Whitehall: Settle Down 00:05
There should be a divisible amount of nipples on a dog.
I was like, "Roxy, take a photograph of this animal's undercarriage, - Jack Whitehall: Settle Down 00:26
I was like, "Roxy, take a photograph of this animal...
For six grand, I was expecting it to be able to do cartwheels - Jack Whitehall: Settle Down 00:06
For six grand, I was expecting it to be able to do cartwheel...
She thought that was a priority, to set it up as a dog influencer. - Jack Whitehall: Settle Down 00:05
She thought that was a priority, to set it up as a dog influ...