I cannot believe they're gonna remake this Bluntman bullshit. Uh, it's not a remake. It's...
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Jay: I cannot believe they're gonna remake this Bluntman bullshit.
Brodie Bruce: Uh, it's not a remake. It's a reboot.
Jay: What the fuck is a reboot?
Brodie Bruce: Well, a reboot, boys, is when Hollywood wants to make a lot of money without the hassle of creating a new movie. So they take an old movie and change just enough to make you pay for the same shit, all over again.
Jay: Those greedy fucking animals.
Brodie Bruce: Oh, it's insidious! They take a flick you loved as a kid and add youth and diversity to it. For example, name the movie where a robot has secret plans that could help the good guys beat the bad guys and their leader in a black mask by blowing up a giant ray gun in space.
Jay: 'Star Wars'!
Brodie Bruce: No. 'The Force Awakens'. See, now, that's what you call a reboot. Nang.
Jay: I thought that was a sequel?
Brodie Bruce: Hollywood doesn't make sequels anymore. Shit, they don't even make 'squeakquels', yo. Studios have given up on new ideas entirely in favor of building multi-movie universes that breed brand-loyal customers from cradle to grave. So if you like Harry Potter? Cash-in-igus, you're getting ten fucking more. You like The Fast and Furious flicks? We're gonna drive the franchise into the ground, bitch.
Jay: Ooh, you want another Marvel movie? Here we go.
Brodie Bruce: Hey, man, those Marvel movies are a triumph of cinema! I live on those Marvel movies! I live for those Marvel movies! I watch those Marvel movies more than I watch Pornhub, and I cum twice as hard doing it!
Jay: Dishes are done, man.
Brodie Bruce: Look, all I'm saying is, if Hollywood doesn't start making some original flicks now, there's not gonna be anything to be reboot in ten years. Then they'll just be rebooting the reboots. It's like we're reaching point break for pop culture, and it ain't gonna be the good "Point Break" with Swayz-dog and Keanu. It's gonna be the remake.
Jay: Wait. What's the difference between a reboot and a remake?
Brodie Bruce: Well, I'm glad you asked, Jay. 'Cause a remake, is like a reboot where the studio doesn't care how the audience feels about the original movie. So they just keep the title, fuck up everything else, and ruin both flicks in the process. See? Which is probably what Bluntman v Chronic is gonna be, because the director of this impending abortion of cinema is none other than Kevin fucking Smith!
Brodie Bruce: Uh, it's not a remake. It's a reboot.
Jay: What the fuck is a reboot?
Brodie Bruce: Well, a reboot, boys, is when Hollywood wants to make a lot of money without the hassle of creating a new movie. So they take an old movie and change just enough to make you pay for the same shit, all over again.
Jay: Those greedy fucking animals.
Brodie Bruce: Oh, it's insidious! They take a flick you loved as a kid and add youth and diversity to it. For example, name the movie where a robot has secret plans that could help the good guys beat the bad guys and their leader in a black mask by blowing up a giant ray gun in space.
Jay: 'Star Wars'!
Brodie Bruce: No. 'The Force Awakens'. See, now, that's what you call a reboot. Nang.
Jay: I thought that was a sequel?
Brodie Bruce: Hollywood doesn't make sequels anymore. Shit, they don't even make 'squeakquels', yo. Studios have given up on new ideas entirely in favor of building multi-movie universes that breed brand-loyal customers from cradle to grave. So if you like Harry Potter? Cash-in-igus, you're getting ten fucking more. You like The Fast and Furious flicks? We're gonna drive the franchise into the ground, bitch.
Jay: Ooh, you want another Marvel movie? Here we go.
Brodie Bruce: Hey, man, those Marvel movies are a triumph of cinema! I live on those Marvel movies! I live for those Marvel movies! I watch those Marvel movies more than I watch Pornhub, and I cum twice as hard doing it!
Jay: Dishes are done, man.
Brodie Bruce: Look, all I'm saying is, if Hollywood doesn't start making some original flicks now, there's not gonna be anything to be reboot in ten years. Then they'll just be rebooting the reboots. It's like we're reaching point break for pop culture, and it ain't gonna be the good "Point Break" with Swayz-dog and Keanu. It's gonna be the remake.
Jay: Wait. What's the difference between a reboot and a remake?
Brodie Bruce: Well, I'm glad you asked, Jay. 'Cause a remake, is like a reboot where the studio doesn't care how the audience feels about the original movie. So they just keep the title, fuck up everything else, and ruin both flicks in the process. See? Which is probably what Bluntman v Chronic is gonna be, because the director of this impending abortion of cinema is none other than Kevin fucking Smith!
Full Transcript
00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:05.168
I cannot believe they're gonna remake this Bluntman bullshit
00:00:05.017 --> 00:00:07.014
Uh it's not a remake it's a reboot
00:00:09.108 --> 00:00:10.877
What the fuck is a reboot
00:00:11.944 --> 00:00:13.977
Well a reboot boys
00:00:13.979 --> 00:00:15.913
is when Hollywood wants to make a lot of money
00:00:15.915 --> 00:00:17.847
without the hassle of creating a new movie
00:00:17.849 --> 00:00:20.216
so they take an old movie and change just enough
00:00:20.218 --> 00:00:22.952
to make you pay for the same shit all over again
00:00:22.954 --> 00:00:26.189
Those greedy fucking animals Oh it's insidious
00:00:26.191 --> 00:00:27.857
They take a flick you loved as a kid
00:00:27.859 --> 00:00:29.893
and add youth and diversity to it
00:00:29.895 --> 00:00:32.895
For example name the movie where a robot has secret plans
00:00:32.897 --> 00:00:35.997
that could help the good guys beat the bad guys
00:00:35.101 --> 00:00:36.966
and their leader in a black mask
00:00:36.968 --> 00:00:39.235
by blowing up a giant ray gun in space
00:00:39.237 --> 00:00:42.239
Star Wars No The Force Awakens
00:00:42.241 --> 00:00:45.003
See now that's what you call a reboot Nang
00:00:46.311 --> 00:00:47.711
I thought that was a sequel
00:00:47.713 --> 00:00:50.147
Hollywood doesn't make sequels anymore
00:00:50.149 --> 00:00:52.118
Shit they don't even make squeakquels yo
00:00:52.952 --> 00:00:55.952
Studios have given up on new ideas entirely
00:00:55.954 --> 00:00:58.002
in favor of building multi movie universes
00:00:58.997 --> 00:01:01.191
that breed brand loyal customers from cradle to grave
00:01:01.193 --> 00:01:03.693
So if you like Harry Potter cashinigus
00:01:03.695 --> 00:01:05.229
you're getting ten fucking more
00:01:05.999 --> 00:01:07.002
You like The Fast and Furious flicks
00:01:07.998 --> 00:01:10.002
we're gonna drive the franchise into the ground bitch
00:01:10.202 --> 00:01:13.136
Ooh you want another Marvel movie here we go
00:01:13.001 --> 00:01:16.034
Hey man those Marvel movies are a triumph of cinema
00:01:16.342 --> 00:01:19.001
I live on those Marvel movies I live for those Marvel movies
00:01:19.911 --> 00:01:22.111
I watch those Marvel movies more than I watch Pornhub
00:01:22.113 --> 00:01:24.002
and I cum twice as hard doing it
00:01:24.997 --> 00:01:26.917
Dishes are done man Look all I'm saying is
00:01:26.919 --> 00:01:29.318
if Hollywood doesn't start making some original flicks now
00:01:29.999 --> 00:01:31.889
there's not gonna be anything to be reboot in ten years
00:01:31.001 --> 00:01:33.036
then they'll just be rebooting the reboots
00:01:33.792 --> 00:01:36.999
It's like we're reaching point break for pop culture
00:01:36.462 --> 00:01:38.998
and it ain't gonna be the good Point Break
00:01:38.993 --> 00:01:41.001
with Swayz dog and Keanu It's gonna be the remake
00:01:41.996 --> 00:01:44.999
Wait What's the difference between a reboot and a remake
00:01:44.236 --> 00:01:45.869
Well I'm glad you asked Jay
00:01:45.871 --> 00:01:48.471
because a remake is like a reboot where the studio
00:01:48.473 --> 00:01:51.999
doesn't care how the audience feels about the original movie
00:01:51.242 --> 00:01:53.943
so they just keep the title fuck up everything else
00:01:53.999 --> 00:01:56.348
and ruin both flicks in the process see
00:01:57.998 --> 00:02:00.999
Which is probably what Bluntman v Chronic is gonna be
00:02:00.218 --> 00:02:03.001
because the director of this impending abortion of cinema
00:02:03.289 --> 00:02:05.001
is none other than Kevin fucking Smith
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Movie Summary
Jay and Silent Bob inadvertently sign away their names and rights to the new Bluntman and Chronic movie. Now they head to Hollywood to stop the film from being made. Along the way Jay discovers that he is a father.
