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Jeff Dunham: Relative Disaster

Welcome to Ireland, where Ventriloquist Jeff Dunham is back with his gang of dolls, revealing some relative secrets. The Netflix special stars Walter (Jeff Dunham), Bubba J (Jeff Dunham), Achmed (Jeff Dunham), Peanut (Je-f-f Dun-h...

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Michael Simon, Matthew McNeil

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-Why?
-Because if you froze them, - Jeff Dunham: Relative Disaster

-Why? -Because if you froze them,

Say, you never told me
what happened to my real mother. - Jeff Dunham: Relative Disaster

Say, you never told me what happened to my real mother.

I was told that the main reason
was because she was an alcoholic. - Jeff Dunham: Relative Disaster

I was told that the main reason was because she was an alcoh...

-What?
-Her milk tasted like Baileys Irish Cream. - Jeff Dunham: Relative Disaster

-What? -Her milk tasted like Baileys Irish Cream.

And by the way, why did you keep pulling
your diaper off last night at the hotel? - Jeff Dunham: Relative Disaster

And by the way, why did you keep pulling your diaper off las...

Uh, you do know
we have twin boys at home - Jeff Dunham: Relative Disaster

Uh, you do know we have twin boys at home

That happens to me a lot. The other day,
I thought I'd hit the mother lode. - Jeff Dunham: Relative Disaster

That happens to me a lot. The other day, I thought I'd ...

I can barely hold my head up,
I keep falling over, and I can't walk. - Jeff Dunham: Relative Disaster

I can barely hold my head up, I keep falling over, and I can...

To make it worse, I yelled
that they were magically delicious. - Jeff Dunham: Relative Disaster

To make it worse, I yelled that they were magically deliciou...

-How are you doing, Bubba J?
-I'm doing pretty good. - Jeff Dunham: Relative Disaster

-How are you doing, Bubba J? -I'm doing pretty good.

-What do you think so far?
-Well, I've been listening, - Jeff Dunham: Relative Disaster

-What do you think so far? -Well, I've been listening,

-Well, that's nice of you to say, Bubba J.
-Well, yeah, I'm drunk. - Jeff Dunham: Relative Disaster

-Well, that's nice of you to say, Bubba J. -Well, yeah,...

He talks funny,
but he can drink me under the table. - Jeff Dunham: Relative Disaster

He talks funny, but he can drink me under the table.

Hey, that reminds me. I was
on the tour bus a little earlier today. - Jeff Dunham: Relative Disaster

Hey, that reminds me. I was on the tour bus a little earlier...

They're talking about some guy around here
they saw who was in his 50's. - Jeff Dunham: Relative Disaster

They're talking about some guy around here they saw who...

Yeah, you can give him a baby shower,
but at his age, that'd be a sponge bath. - Jeff Dunham: Relative Disaster

Yeah, you can give him a baby shower, but at his age, that&#...

And when he takes his kids to college,
folks will be like: - Jeff Dunham: Relative Disaster

And when he takes his kids to college, folks will be like:

No, I'm the 55-year-old guy
that has baby twins. - Jeff Dunham: Relative Disaster

No, I'm the 55-year-old guy that has baby twins.

Yeah, I forgot I went
and visited your boys the other day. - Jeff Dunham: Relative Disaster

Yeah, I forgot I went and visited your boys the other day.

-How did that go?
-Well, like I said, - Jeff Dunham: Relative Disaster

-How did that go? -Well, like I said,

You know, come to think of it,
I got twin kids of my own. - Jeff Dunham: Relative Disaster

You know, come to think of it, I got twin kids of my own.

I know Tommy is 9, and Mary is 3. - Jeff Dunham: Relative Disaster

I know Tommy is 9, and Mary is 3.

Yeah, that was a tough one
to explain to my wife. - Jeff Dunham: Relative Disaster

Yeah, that was a tough one to explain to my wife.

Well, I had to swear up and down
that I had not slept with a black woman. - Jeff Dunham: Relative Disaster

Well, I had to swear up and down that I had not slept with a...

I know, and she's gonna be pissed off
when she figures out - Jeff Dunham: Relative Disaster

I know, and she's gonna be pissed off when she figures ...

I like that. "Here come them Dunham boys.
Conjoined, conjoined, conjoined." - Jeff Dunham: Relative Disaster

I like that. "Here come them Dunham boys. Conjoined, co...

That's too bad, 'cause you could have had
all them two-for-one specials. - Jeff Dunham: Relative Disaster

That's too bad, 'cause you could have had all them...

When you go out in public,
you'd never have to say, "Stay together." - Jeff Dunham: Relative Disaster

When you go out in public, you'd never have to say, &qu...

So, for twins, did you,
"chica, womp, womp," in a twin bed? - Jeff Dunham: Relative Disaster

So, for twins, did you, "chica, womp, womp," in a ...

- Why did you have two?
- Well-- - Jeff Dunham: Relative Disaster

- Why did you have two? - Well--

-No.
-My mama swears - Jeff Dunham: Relative Disaster

-No. -My mama swears

I'd love to have more kids of my own,
but my doctor said - Jeff Dunham: Relative Disaster

I'd love to have more kids of my own, but my doctor sai...

Yeah, they're like drunk drivers veering
off the road and crashing into bushes. - Jeff Dunham: Relative Disaster

Yeah, they're like drunk drivers veering off the road a...

So, Bubba J, did you date a lot of women
before you got married? - Jeff Dunham: Relative Disaster

So, Bubba J, did you date a lot of women before you got marr...

I'm looking over here,
but I'm also looking over here. - Jeff Dunham: Relative Disaster

I'm looking over here, but I'm also looking over h...

Whoo! Look at that! - Jeff Dunham: Relative Disaster

Whoo! Look at that!

So, you got two toddlers at home
and also two kids in college. - Jeff Dunham: Relative Disaster

So, you got two toddlers at home and also two kids in colleg...

-So, it's five kids from two marriages.
-That's right. I have a blended family. - Jeff Dunham: Relative Disaster

-So, it's five kids from two marriages. -That's ri...

I got a cousin who has a kid
that's half human and half donkey. - Jeff Dunham: Relative Disaster

I got a cousin who has a kid that's half human and half...

Their Christmas card looks like something
went horribly wrong at the manger. - Jeff Dunham: Relative Disaster

Their Christmas card looks like something went horribly wron...

-The manger?
-Well, I think it's a manger, - Jeff Dunham: Relative Disaster

-The manger? -Well, I think it's a manger,

-Oh, good. So, you found a job?
-No, I'm just no longer looking for work. - Jeff Dunham: Relative Disaster

-Oh, good. So, you found a job? -No, I'm just no longer...

Well, one time, I caught
something from a girl, - Jeff Dunham: Relative Disaster

Well, one time, I caught something from a girl,

Look, Bubba J, you like talking to people,
and you care about them. - Jeff Dunham: Relative Disaster

Look, Bubba J, you like talking to people, and you care abou...

Ahem. I did not have sex with that woman. - Jeff Dunham: Relative Disaster

Ahem. I did not have sex with that woman.

I did not have sex with that little girl. - Jeff Dunham: Relative Disaster

I did not have sex with that little girl.

And then I can pull up some chain-link
between the U.S. and Mexico - Jeff Dunham: Relative Disaster

And then I can pull up some chain-link between the U.S. and ...

Look, Bubba J, if you were in office,
would you reduce the unemployment rate? - Jeff Dunham: Relative Disaster

Look, Bubba J, if you were in office, would you reduce the u...

Look, Bubba J, with your appeal, I think
you could reach out to young people. - Jeff Dunham: Relative Disaster

Look, Bubba J, with your appeal, I think you could reach out...

Well, my uncle tried that.
He got put on a list. - Jeff Dunham: Relative Disaster

Well, my uncle tried that. He got put on a list.

Well, one time, I sat on my own nuts.
Is that it? - Jeff Dunham: Relative Disaster

Well, one time, I sat on my own nuts. Is that it?

I'm pretty sure that's where
the phrase "beer nuts" came from. - Jeff Dunham: Relative Disaster

I'm pretty sure that's where the phrase "beer...

-Say good night, Bubba J.
-Thanks, Dublin! - Jeff Dunham: Relative Disaster

-Say good night, Bubba J. -Thanks, Dublin!

Ladies and gentlemen,
I have said it before, - Jeff Dunham: Relative Disaster

Ladies and gentlemen, I have said it before,

Please help me welcome
the world's favorite terrorist, - Jeff Dunham: Relative Disaster

Please help me welcome the world's favorite terrorist,

Greetings, Irish infidels! - Jeff Dunham: Relative Disaster

Greetings, Irish infidels!

Oh, it is good to see you, too,
infidel number one. - Jeff Dunham: Relative Disaster

Oh, it is good to see you, too, infidel number one.

Because I was detained at your airport
for days. - Jeff Dunham: Relative Disaster

Because I was detained at your airport for days.

-Seriously?
-Well-- - Jeff Dunham: Relative Disaster

-Seriously? -Well--

-But in this case, everyone is right.
-You are violating my rights. - Jeff Dunham: Relative Disaster

-But in this case, everyone is right. -You are violating my ...

-What--?
-Freedom of the pressing of buttons. - Jeff Dunham: Relative Disaster

-What--? -Freedom of the pressing of buttons.

-No such thing.
-Freedom to assemble shit and blow it up. - Jeff Dunham: Relative Disaster

-No such thing. -Freedom to assemble shit and blow it up.

I'm in line, and the Immigration guy goes,
"We are vetting you." - Jeff Dunham: Relative Disaster

I'm in line, and the Immigration guy goes, "We are...

-Why'd you name him that?
-I think it's funny to say: - Jeff Dunham: Relative Disaster

-Why'd you name him that? -I think it's funny to s...

If I yell, "Fetch, boy,"
he grabs my leg and runs like hell. - Jeff Dunham: Relative Disaster

If I yell, "Fetch, boy," he grabs my leg and runs ...

-So, what happened at the airport?
-The Immigration guy yelled at me. - Jeff Dunham: Relative Disaster

-So, what happened at the airport? -The Immigration guy yell...

He goes, "Why are you in this country?" - Jeff Dunham: Relative Disaster

He goes, "Why are you in this country?"

"I'm here to blow up shit." - Jeff Dunham: Relative Disaster

"I'm here to blow up shit."

Find a place on me where there's a cavity
that I can hide stuff. Nowhere! - Jeff Dunham: Relative Disaster

Find a place on me where there's a cavity that I can hi...

-Really?
-No, I floss after every meal. Yup. - Jeff Dunham: Relative Disaster

-Really? -No, I floss after every meal. Yup.

Easy. I put my leg
in Little Bastard's mouth - Jeff Dunham: Relative Disaster

Easy. I put my leg in Little Bastard's mouth

It's really important. And sometimes
if you don't drink it, you get dehydrated, - Jeff Dunham: Relative Disaster

It's really important. And sometimes if you don't ...

Silence, I kill you. - Jeff Dunham: Relative Disaster

Silence, I kill you.

Well, I am angry, because
Facebook won't let me on Facebook. - Jeff Dunham: Relative Disaster

Well, I am angry, because Facebook won't let me on Face...

-Because you're a terrorist.
-No. Because I don't have a face. - Jeff Dunham: Relative Disaster

-Because you're a terrorist. -No. Because I don't ...

Do you know what happens when 72 women
all live in the same place together? - Jeff Dunham: Relative Disaster

Do you know what happens when 72 women all live in the same ...

We suicide bombers
are actually killing ourselves - Jeff Dunham: Relative Disaster

We suicide bombers are actually killing ourselves

-Oh, you play golf?
-I wish. I don't have the equipment. - Jeff Dunham: Relative Disaster

-Oh, you play golf? -I wish. I don't have the equipment...

And all of those women,
I am not getting any younger. - Jeff Dunham: Relative Disaster

And all of those women, I am not getting any younger.

-What?
-"Come on, get it while it's hot." - Jeff Dunham: Relative Disaster

-What? -"Come on, get it while it's hot."

If I had a hammer, I could play
the world's largest game of whack-a-mole. - Jeff Dunham: Relative Disaster

If I had a hammer, I could play the world's largest gam...

No, no. She had a little animal that went: - Jeff Dunham: Relative Disaster

No, no. She had a little animal that went:

-How's that?
-My first wife was not a pretty woman. - Jeff Dunham: Relative Disaster

-How's that? -My first wife was not a pretty woman.

-No?
-No. At the mall, - Jeff Dunham: Relative Disaster

-No? -No. At the mall,

-You mean you, like, kissed her?
-Oh, a lot more than that. - Jeff Dunham: Relative Disaster

-You mean you, like, kissed her? -Oh, a lot more than that.

-Really?
-Yeah. I got to look at her ankle. - Jeff Dunham: Relative Disaster

-Really? -Yeah. I got to look at her ankle.

You know, I think comedy
and suicide bombing have a lot in common. - Jeff Dunham: Relative Disaster

You know, I think comedy and suicide bombing have a lot in c...

No, no, no. She was long before them.
And then she divorced me. - Jeff Dunham: Relative Disaster

No, no, no. She was long before them. And then she divorced ...

- How have things been going lately?
- Oh, not bad. - Jeff Dunham: Relative Disaster

- How have things been going lately? - Oh, not bad.

I'm actually dating someone
who is not one of the annoying 72. - Jeff Dunham: Relative Disaster

I'm actually dating someone who is not one of the annoy...

Jeff Dunham: Relative Disaster poster

★ ★ ★ ★ ★

Welcome to Ireland, where Ventriloquist Jeff Dunham is back with his gang of dolls, revealing some relative secrets. The Netflix special stars Walter (Jeff Dunham), Bubba J (Jeff Dunham), Achmed (Jeff Dunham), Peanut (Je-f-f Dun-h...

User Rating: 0.0 (0 ratings)

Director: Michael Simon, Matthew McNeil

Writer: Jeff Dunham

Production: N/A

Genre: comedy

Year: 2017

MetaScore: N/A/100

ImdbRating: 6.4

BoxOffice: N/A

Released: 12 Sep 2017

Awards: N/A

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