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Jerry Seinfeld: 23 Hours to Kill

"Scotch" is "I," "tape" is "hate,""house" is "you." But it's better

"Scotch" is "I," "tape" is "hate,"
"house" is "you." But it's better

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:03.878
"Scotch" is "I," "tape" is "hate," "house" is "you."
00:00:05.671 --> 00:00:06.756
But it's better.
Duration
7 seconds
Views
26
Timestamp in Movie
00:47:42
Uploaded
Jun 01, 2025
Genres
comedy
Production
N/A

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Movie Summary

Comedian Jerry Seinfeld performs at the Beacon Theatre in New York City with his take on everyday life, uncovering comedy in the commonplace.
You don't say, "I could kill you right now." - Jerry Seinfeld: 23 Hours to Kill 00:07
You don't say, "I could kill you right now."
"So, Jerry, we would like to understand in a little more detail - Jerry Seinfeld: 23 Hours to Kill 00:07
"So, Jerry, we would like to understand in a little mor...
We saw that you were, uh, just a single, regular, - Jerry Seinfeld: 23 Hours to Kill 00:06
We saw that you were, uh, just a single, regular,
How did you procreate and cohabitate, - Jerry Seinfeld: 23 Hours to Kill 00:20
How did you procreate and cohabitate,
When I'm with my wife, who I love so dearly, - Jerry Seinfeld: 23 Hours to Kill 00:10
When I'm with my wife, who I love so dearly,
And then she and I can share a warm moment together, - Jerry Seinfeld: 23 Hours to Kill 00:07
And then she and I can share a warm moment together,
We just came back from a lovey family vacation, - Jerry Seinfeld: 23 Hours to Kill 00:07
We just came back from a lovey family vacation,
"I'm gonna kill you." "I'm gonna kill you more." - Jerry Seinfeld: 23 Hours to Kill 00:09
"I'm gonna kill you." "I'm gonna ki...
Let's fight about how well-behaved those other children seem to be. - Jerry Seinfeld: 23 Hours to Kill 00:04
Let's fight about how well-behaved those other children...
I wonder if they were out on the hotel balcony last night - Jerry Seinfeld: 23 Hours to Kill 00:08
I wonder if they were out on the hotel balcony last night
She's 18, and she just, uh, finished high school, went off to college. - Jerry Seinfeld: 23 Hours to Kill 00:04
She's 18, and she just, uh, finished high school, went ...
Big... That's kind of a big, you know, step when you're parents. - Jerry Seinfeld: 23 Hours to Kill 00:05
Big... That's kind of a big, you know, step when you�...
She finished high school. - Jerry Seinfeld: 23 Hours to Kill 00:04
She finished high school.
So, a lot of people... You know, everybody's asking me, - Jerry Seinfeld: 23 Hours to Kill 00:07
So, a lot of people... You know, everybody's asking me,
The way I look at it, it's like if you somehow found a baby alligator - Jerry Seinfeld: 23 Hours to Kill 00:07
The way I look at it, it's like if you somehow found a ...
Little teeth, little bitey, bitey teeth." - Jerry Seinfeld: 23 Hours to Kill 00:10
Little teeth, little bitey, bitey teeth."
This thing needs to be out there, - Jerry Seinfeld: 23 Hours to Kill 00:07
This thing needs to be out there,
That... that's what it's supposed to do." - Jerry Seinfeld: 23 Hours to Kill 00:08
That... that's what it's supposed to do."
But I love being a dad I was there at the birth - Jerry Seinfeld: 23 Hours to Kill 00:47
But I love being a dad I was there at the birth
We gotta turn inventory, fresh product, - Jerry Seinfeld: 23 Hours to Kill 00:06
We gotta turn inventory, fresh product,