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Then I started thinking maybe they put Uber on the phone
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Jerry Seinfeld: 23 Hours to Kill

Then I started thinkingmaybe they put Uber on the phone because that makes me take the...

Then I started thinking
maybe they put Uber on the phone because that makes me take the phone, 'cause the phone is using me
to get around

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:03.186
Then I started thinking maybe they put Uber on the phone
00:00:03.021 --> 00:00:04.069
because that makes me take the phone,
00:00:04.754 --> 00:00:07.002
'cause the phone is using me to get around.
Duration
7 seconds
Views
37
Timestamp in Movie
00:17:42
Uploaded
Jun 01, 2025
Genres
comedy
Production
N/A

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Movie Summary

Comedian Jerry Seinfeld performs at the Beacon Theatre in New York City with his take on everyday life, uncovering comedy in the commonplace.
Who's really the Uber in this big prostitution ring? - Jerry Seinfeld: 23 Hours to Kill 00:04
Who's really the Uber in this big prostitution ring?
The cars are the hos, - Jerry Seinfeld: 23 Hours to Kill 00:05
The cars are the hos,
And the phone's the big pimp of the whole thing, - Jerry Seinfeld: 23 Hours to Kill 00:05
And the phone's the big pimp of the whole thing,
Once they gave you the option, - Jerry Seinfeld: 23 Hours to Kill 00:04
Once they gave you the option,
I feel like a blacksmith up here sometimes, to tell you the truth. - Jerry Seinfeld: 23 Hours to Kill 00:05
I feel like a blacksmith up here sometimes, to tell you the ...
I could text you this whole thing. We can get the hell outta here right now. - Jerry Seinfeld: 23 Hours to Kill 00:04
I could text you this whole thing. We can get the hell outta...
Why would I wanna get information from a face when I could get it - Jerry Seinfeld: 23 Hours to Kill 00:06
Why would I wanna get information from a face when I could g...
Don't you feel uncomfortable now? Faces come up to you, - Jerry Seinfeld: 23 Hours to Kill 00:09
Don't you feel uncomfortable now? Faces come up to you,
There's a missed shaving spot, there's a piece of crust, some goo. - Jerry Seinfeld: 23 Hours to Kill 00:04
There's a missed shaving spot, there's a piece of ...
We like that word, don't we? "Text!" It's fun to say. It's got that... - Jerry Seinfeld: 23 Hours to Kill 00:04
We like that word, don't we? "Text!" It'...
"Text it! Text!" - Jerry Seinfeld: 23 Hours to Kill 00:06
"Text it! Text!"
Don't tell me! Text it. Don't tell me!" - Jerry Seinfeld: 23 Hours to Kill 00:08
Don't tell me! Text it. Don't tell me!"
"Want some human contact but kind of had it up to here with people? - Jerry Seinfeld: 23 Hours to Kill 00:04
"Want some human contact but kind of had it up to here ...
Need to get someone some information - Jerry Seinfeld: 23 Hours to Kill 00:06
Need to get someone some information
You need to be on text." - Jerry Seinfeld: 23 Hours to Kill 00:06
You need to be on text."
Now, instead of "OK," a lot of people text me just the "K," - Jerry Seinfeld: 23 Hours to Kill 00:06
Now, instead of "OK," a lot of people text me just...
What... what microfraction of a second did you save? - Jerry Seinfeld: 23 Hours to Kill 00:05
What... what microfraction of a second did you save?
What does that add up to, - Jerry Seinfeld: 23 Hours to Kill 00:08
What does that add up to,
Somebody texted me "TY" the other day instead of "thank you." - Jerry Seinfeld: 23 Hours to Kill 00:07
Somebody texted me "TY" the other day instead of &...
We're so anxious to get the next text, - Jerry Seinfeld: 23 Hours to Kill 00:05
We're so anxious to get the next text,