It's just, me and this phone, we've been through a lot, you know? A lot of snaps, a lot of...

Phil: [needs a new cell-phone because his old one is broken] It's just, me and this phone, we've been through a lot, you know? A lot of snaps, a lot of tweets. I actually took a selfie with none other than David Boreanaz from "Bones" on this phone. Can you believe that? I'm gonna miss you, little buddy. Denice: I see crackheads like you come in here every day. Crying about how their phone died. They're little crackheads, and like "I need a new phone, man." Phil: I'm not a crackhead. Denice: You're worse than a crackhead. Cause at least a crackhead gets up off the couch every now and then to go get some more crack. You just sit there 24/7 staring at that little black box, sucking on that pipe. You still want a new phone though, don't you? Phil: Yes, please. Denice: Crackhead. [nevertheless, she gets him a new cell-phone] Phil: [gasps softly as he picks up his new cell-phone] Oh! Look at you. You sweet, beautiful baby. Mmm! You smell so new. Oh, thank you to all the little Chinese children for crafting such a perfect phone. Jexi: [chimes, comes alive] Hello, my name is Jexi. And I am here to make your life better.