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If you've been zip-lining,
you know to slow down, you have to spread
out your arms and legs. That supposedly slows you down. It also makes it look like a suicide. "Oh, if he didn't wanna die,
why was he doing the chalk outline?" It's such a weird... How did they
even come up with zip-lining? "Hey, you know how telephone
poles have a wire between 'em?" "What if we just put the tourists
up there?" "Why would tourists do that?" "Don't know.
Why would they pay to swim with sharks?" We did go snorkeling. I wasn't worried for myself 'cause I figured sharks would look
at my legs and be like, "Those can't be real." "I'm not gonna bite into
another mannequin, that's for sure."
you know to slow down, you have to spread
out your arms and legs. That supposedly slows you down. It also makes it look like a suicide. "Oh, if he didn't wanna die,
why was he doing the chalk outline?" It's such a weird... How did they
even come up with zip-lining? "Hey, you know how telephone
poles have a wire between 'em?" "What if we just put the tourists
up there?" "Why would tourists do that?" "Don't know.
Why would they pay to swim with sharks?" We did go snorkeling. I wasn't worried for myself 'cause I figured sharks would look
at my legs and be like, "Those can't be real." "I'm not gonna bite into
another mannequin, that's for sure."
Full Transcript
00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:03.455
If you've been zip-lining,
you know to slow down,
00:00:03.058 --> 00:00:05.335
you have to spread
out your arms and legs.
00:00:05.046 --> 00:00:06.625
That supposedly slows you down.
00:00:06.075 --> 00:00:08.071
It also makes it look like a suicide.
00:00:10.001 --> 00:00:13.047
"Oh, if he didn't wanna die,
why was he doing the chalk outline?"
00:00:15.035 --> 00:00:18.185
It's such a weird... How did they
even come up with zip-lining?
00:00:18.031 --> 00:00:21.048
"Hey, you know how telephone
poles have a wire between 'em?"
00:00:22.999 --> 00:00:24.021
"What if we just put the tourists
up there?"
00:00:26.004 --> 00:00:27.565
"Why would tourists do that?"
00:00:27.069 --> 00:00:30.044
"Don't know.
Why would they pay to swim with sharks?"
00:00:31.099 --> 00:00:33.485
We did go snorkeling.
00:00:33.061 --> 00:00:34.905
I wasn't worried for myself
00:00:35.001 --> 00:00:37.285
'cause I figured sharks would look
at my legs and be like,
00:00:37.041 --> 00:00:38.062
"Those can't be real."
00:00:40.062 --> 00:00:44.021
"I'm not gonna bite into
another mannequin, that's for sure."
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Movie Summary
Stand-up special by Jim Gaffigan.