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So to avoid causing offense unnecessarily tonight
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Jimmy Carr: The Best of Ultimate Gold Greatest Hits

So to avoid causing offenseunnecessarily tonight, if I refer to a vagina at any...

So to avoid causing offense
unnecessarily tonight, if I refer to a vagina at any point,
which I'm bound to do

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:03.088
So to avoid causing offense unnecessarily tonight,
00:00:03.096 --> 00:00:06.048
if I refer to a vagina at any point, which I'm bound to do...
Duration
6 seconds
Views
69
Timestamp in Movie
00:03:21
Uploaded
Jun 11, 2025
Genres
comedy
Production
N/A

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Movie Summary

Nothing is off limits as Jimmy Carr serves up the best jokes from his storied stand-up career in a special that's as inappropriate as it is hilarious.
So, for this evening, "front bottom" and "back cunt." - Jimmy Carr: The Best of Ultimate Gold Greatest Hits 00:04
So, for this evening, "front bottom" and "bac...
When Donald Trump first took to office, - Jimmy Carr: The Best of Ultimate Gold Greatest Hits 00:05
When Donald Trump first took to office,
And I think that's his one good idea, because walls work. - Jimmy Carr: The Best of Ultimate Gold Greatest Hits 00:04
And I think that's his one good idea, because walls wor...
When I was younger, I couldn't talk to women, - Jimmy Carr: The Best of Ultimate Gold Greatest Hits 00:06
When I was younger, I couldn't talk to women,
Yeah, it's quite funny to say to a girl who's going down on you, - Jimmy Carr: The Best of Ultimate Gold Greatest Hits 00:11
Yeah, it's quite funny to say to a girl who's goin...
"Please don't hurt me." - Jimmy Carr: The Best of Ultimate Gold Greatest Hits 00:13
"Please don't hurt me."
Would the newspaper headline be: - Jimmy Carr: The Best of Ultimate Gold Greatest Hits 00:05
Would the newspaper headline be:
I was trying to write the shortest joke possible, so I wrote a four-word joke. - Jimmy Carr: The Best of Ultimate Gold Greatest Hits 00:04
I was trying to write the shortest joke possible, so I wrote...
Truth be told, I fucking love dwarfs, - Jimmy Carr: The Best of Ultimate Gold Greatest Hits 00:06
Truth be told, I fucking love dwarfs,
I was in Brussels last year doing shows - Jimmy Carr: The Best of Ultimate Gold Greatest Hits 00:07
I was in Brussels last year doing shows
And they told you on the news - Jimmy Carr: The Best of Ultimate Gold Greatest Hits 00:04
And they told you on the news
It's not a mommy panda and a daddy panda fucking. - Jimmy Carr: The Best of Ultimate Gold Greatest Hits 00:04
It's not a mommy panda and a daddy panda fucking.
A look as if to say, "We do like the D." - Jimmy Carr: The Best of Ultimate Gold Greatest Hits 00:10
A look as if to say, "We do like the D."
So you phone up the Chinese authorities, - Jimmy Carr: The Best of Ultimate Gold Greatest Hits 00:05
So you phone up the Chinese authorities,
This panda fertility expert brings with him, in his luggage, - Jimmy Carr: The Best of Ultimate Gold Greatest Hits 00:11
This panda fertility expert brings with him, in his luggage,
So he flies to Brussels, he's got the outfit with him, - Jimmy Carr: The Best of Ultimate Gold Greatest Hits 00:08
So he flies to Brussels, he's got the outfit with him,
He dresses up from head to toe as a panda, - Jimmy Carr: The Best of Ultimate Gold Greatest Hits 00:10
He dresses up from head to toe as a panda,
So if anyone here's thinking, "Oh, I've had a tough week at work..." - Jimmy Carr: The Best of Ultimate Gold Greatest Hits 00:07
So if anyone here's thinking, "Oh, I've had a...
Incidentally, that is the day to visit the zoo. Am I right? - Jimmy Carr: The Best of Ultimate Gold Greatest Hits 00:05
Incidentally, that is the day to visit the zoo. Am I right?
So he wanks off a panda, dressed as a panda, - Jimmy Carr: The Best of Ultimate Gold Greatest Hits 00:05
So he wanks off a panda, dressed as a panda,