You shouldn't wear fur
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Myron Larabee:
[waiting outside to go inside the toy store]
Hey. Give the man a break. He's a dad trying to get a toy. [to Howard] Myron Larabee:
go ahead. Have cuts man. Last minute shopping huh? Howard Langston:
Yeah. Myron Larabee:
Enough to drive a man insane ain't it? Myron La. Howard Langston:
[they both shake hands]
Howard Langston. Myron Larabee:
See I have to shop late because it's the busiest time of the year for me all these important Christmas letters that people sed to folks they don't even talk to but once a year, not to mention relatives sending presents they're going to have to send back anyway. How many toiletry kits does a man need? And how about those little, stupid letters from kids to Santa at the North Pole? [In a child's voice] Myron Larabee:
"Dear Santa could you send me a bike and a slinky?" No! Your father's been laid off. And as if I didn't have enough pressure in my life, my son sends me out for some goofy-butt toy, some fruity robot named Turtle Man. Howard Langston:
That's Turbo Man. My son wants one too. Myron Larabee:
You know it's all a ploy, don't you? Howard Langston:
A ploy? Myron Larabee:
Man where you been? Don't you watch TV? We are being set up by rich and powerful toy cartels. Howard Langston:
Oh, come on. Myron Larabee:
You got these big fat cats sit there using working class just like me and you. They spend billions of dollars on TV advertisement, And then they sit there and use subliminal messages to suck your children's minds out! I know what I'm talking about 'cause I went to junior college for a semester and I studied psychology so I'm right in there. I know what's going on. And then they sit there and make a kid feel like garbage because you the father who's working 24/7, delivering mail so you can make an alimony payment to a woman that slept with everybody at the post office but me, and then when you get the toy it breaks, and you can't fix it because it's cheap plastic! Know what I'd like to do? I'd like to walk up in that office, grab one of those guys and just choke him [grabs and suddenly chokes a woman while saying it] Myron Larabee:
choke him until an eye pops out! [He suddenly realizes what he's doing and lets the woman go] Myron Larabee:
you shouldn't wear fur
[waiting outside to go inside the toy store]
Hey. Give the man a break. He's a dad trying to get a toy. [to Howard] Myron Larabee:
go ahead. Have cuts man. Last minute shopping huh? Howard Langston:
Yeah. Myron Larabee:
Enough to drive a man insane ain't it? Myron La. Howard Langston:
[they both shake hands]
Howard Langston. Myron Larabee:
See I have to shop late because it's the busiest time of the year for me all these important Christmas letters that people sed to folks they don't even talk to but once a year, not to mention relatives sending presents they're going to have to send back anyway. How many toiletry kits does a man need? And how about those little, stupid letters from kids to Santa at the North Pole? [In a child's voice] Myron Larabee:
"Dear Santa could you send me a bike and a slinky?" No! Your father's been laid off. And as if I didn't have enough pressure in my life, my son sends me out for some goofy-butt toy, some fruity robot named Turtle Man. Howard Langston:
That's Turbo Man. My son wants one too. Myron Larabee:
You know it's all a ploy, don't you? Howard Langston:
A ploy? Myron Larabee:
Man where you been? Don't you watch TV? We are being set up by rich and powerful toy cartels. Howard Langston:
Oh, come on. Myron Larabee:
You got these big fat cats sit there using working class just like me and you. They spend billions of dollars on TV advertisement, And then they sit there and use subliminal messages to suck your children's minds out! I know what I'm talking about 'cause I went to junior college for a semester and I studied psychology so I'm right in there. I know what's going on. And then they sit there and make a kid feel like garbage because you the father who's working 24/7, delivering mail so you can make an alimony payment to a woman that slept with everybody at the post office but me, and then when you get the toy it breaks, and you can't fix it because it's cheap plastic! Know what I'd like to do? I'd like to walk up in that office, grab one of those guys and just choke him [grabs and suddenly chokes a woman while saying it] Myron Larabee:
choke him until an eye pops out! [He suddenly realizes what he's doing and lets the woman go] Myron Larabee:
you shouldn't wear fur
Full Transcript
00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:02.834
Hi I Ted
00:00:02.918 --> 00:00:05.211
Howard Hey buddy How's it going out there
00:00:05.296 --> 00:00:09.132
Everything okay Yeah fine Ted I need to speak to Liz
00:00:09.216 --> 00:00:11.676
Could you get
00:00:11.761 --> 00:00:15.764
Howard excuse me but your wife's cookies are out of this world
00:00:15.848 --> 00:00:19.267
What Who told you you could eat my cookies
00:00:19.352 --> 00:00:22.414
I'm just helping Liz out a little in the kitchen She's baking up a storm here
00:00:22.438 --> 00:00:25.523
Ted I need to speak to my wife
00:00:25.608 --> 00:00:27.817
so could you get her on the phone please
00:00:27.902 --> 00:00:30.001
I think she's in the shower Do you want me to go check
00:00:30.112 --> 00:00:31.821
No
00:00:31.906 --> 00:00:34.157
I mean no that's fine
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Movie Summary
A father vows to get his son a Turbo Man action figure for Christmas. However, every store is sold out of them, and he must travel all over town and compete with everybody else in order to find one.
Actors
Myron Larabee
Howard Langston
