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Joan

A mother in despair is swept up into the exhilarating world of crime as she swings between trying to get her daughter back from social services and building a daring, thriving career as a jewel thief.

Director

N/A

Year

Genre

Awards

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Joan

Boisie

Kelly

Mia Millichamp-Long

Albie

Gershwyn Eustache Jnr

Val

Nancy

Kirsty J. Curtis

Mrs. May

Dorothy Atkinson

Sue Ashbury

Bernard

Tom

Kirsty

Gary

Mark the Driver

Paul

Jonny

Mason-Elijah Majeika

Mrs. Taylor-Brown

Caroline Harker

D.S. Harris

Bren

Mr. Taylor-Brown

Siobhan Doherty

King

Susan the Smart Lady

Margy

John Roberts

Hotel Lounge Guest

Joan Hannington

Don the Gangster

Larry the Young Fence

Mandy the Screw

Laura Crowhurst

Hotel Lounge Guest

Edward the Suited Man

Will Richardson

Mary the Receptionist

Marie the Store Assistant

Carol the Stewardess

Michelle Luther

Mr. Sandford the Young Jeweller

Henry Eaglesfield

Amy the Rich Customer

Walter the Headteacher

Dave

Kenneth the Uniformed Official

Malcolm

Mr. Galbraith

Grant Gillespie

Sergeant Mills

Russell Anthony

Ronald the Face

Christian Jenner

Professor Elizabeth Tremayne

Stephanie Street

Esme the Posh Woman

Scruffy Girl Kath

Mr. Gibson the Shop Assistant

Stephen the Cocky Lad

Receptionist at the Newbury Hotel

Bellhop

Hugo Saxton

Peter O'Connell

Mr. Green

Mrs. Judy Asher

Elizabeth Holland

Sean

Millicent the Teacher

Allegra Marland

Linda Foley

Michael

Joan Stand-In

Kevin the Copper

Jerry the Barman

Benjamin Hannington

Julie the Inmate

Shopper

London Passerby

Prisoner

Tina Louise Owens

Plane Passenger

Porter

Barman

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Explore 805 Clips

MUSIC: 'Brass In Pocket'
by Pretenders - Joan

MUSIC: 'Brass In Pocket' by Pretenders

Gary, what the hell did you do?!
SHE GASPS - Joan

Gary, what the hell did you do?! SHE GASPS

You heard anything
about an art theft in Sussex? - Joan

You heard anything about an art theft in Sussex?

'It's definitely a real Stubbs?'
'Yeah. Worth thousands.' - Joan

'It's definitely a real Stubbs?' 'Yeah. ...

TYRES SCREECH - Joan

'I fully intend on getting a job
and a place of my own to support us. - Joan

'I fully intend on getting a job and a place of my own ...

If you help them
to land a bigger fish, - Joan

If you help them to land a bigger fish,

'I just need a chance.' - Joan

'I just need a chance.'

I can't fight Kelly's adoption
with the police sniffing around. - Joan

I can't fight Kelly's adoption with the police sni...

So, you've just been made homeless, - Joan

So, you've just been made homeless,

'Men have been pushing me around
my whole life.' - Joan

'Men have been pushing me around my whole life.'

We can say anything to one another.
There's no secrets. - Joan

We can say anything to one another. There's no secrets.

If I make a deal, the IRA kill me.
If I don't, I get ten years. - Joan

If I make a deal, the IRA kill me. If I don't, I get te...

'Grabbed them from the safe.
Necked 'em, walked. - Joan

'Grabbed them from the safe. Necked 'em, walked.

'So, can you sell them for me?'
'Might take a few weeks.' - Joan

'So, can you sell them for me?' 'Might take a...

It won't be cheap.
You got the Irish in. You owe me. - Joan

It won't be cheap. You got the Irish in. You owe me.

'So, what am I nicking?'
'Clothes, designer gear, luggage.' - Joan

'So, what am I nicking?' 'Clothes, designer g...

Can you act? With you on my arm,
anything's possible. - Joan

Can you act? With you on my arm, anything's possible.

Bernard's.
I mean clear the place out. - Joan

Bernard's. I mean clear the place out.

Every single piece
of that premier collection. - Joan

Every single piece of that premier collection.

All you've gotta do is work for me.
I'm not a grass, Tom. - Joan

All you've gotta do is work for me. I'm not a gras...

I want an 18-carat four-claw mount
with the fake set in. - Joan

I want an 18-carat four-claw mount with the fake set in.

SIRENS - Joan

We go on our own,
and I'll come back for her. OK. - Joan

We go on our own, and I'll come back for her. OK.

# Gonna use my, my, my - Joan

# Gonna use my, my, my

Dressing up... pretending. - Joan

Dressing up... pretending.

'My mate Albie sells it out in Spain - Joan

'My mate Albie sells it out in Spain

You've organised a sale with
the IRA, and you didn't tell me? - Joan

You've organised a sale with the IRA, and you didn'...

'More cameras?' - Joan

'More cameras?'

'I can't get that cute little ring
out of my mind.' - Joan

'I can't get that cute little ring out of my mind....

'We take it over,
he pays us on delivery.' - Joan

'We take it over, he pays us on delivery.'

# Cos I gonna make you see - Joan

# Cos I gonna make you see

When Jessica confirms
she's happy with what she sees, - Joan

When Jessica confirms she's happy with what she sees,

'You need to act dumb
around his missus.' - Joan

'You need to act dumb around his missus.'

'I need you to add Kelly to my
passport so I can take her with us.' - Joan

'I need you to add Kelly to my passport so I can take h...

'It's just work.' - Joan

'It's just work.'

SHOUTING - Joan

Yes. Crack the champers! - Joan

Yes. Crack the champers!

RADIO: 'Making Your Mind Up'
by Bucks Fizz - Joan

RADIO: 'Making Your Mind Up' by Bucks Fizz

You're her mother, - Joan

You're her mother,

I need money. I mean "money" money. - Joan

I need money. I mean "money" money.

It's really important that Kelly - Joan

It's really important that Kelly

DOOR UNLOCKS,
FOOTSTEPS - Joan

DOOR UNLOCKS, FOOTSTEPS

MUSIC: 'The Lovecats'
by The Cure - Joan

MUSIC: 'The Lovecats' by The Cure

KELLY: 'Hello?' - Joan

KELLY: 'Hello?'

CAR HORN OUTSIDE - Joan

CAR HORN OUTSIDE

PHONE RINGS - Joan

'I've started riding lessons.' - Joan

'I've started riding lessons.'

'The headmaster is asking
if you could bring it forward - Joan

'The headmaster is asking if you could bring it forward

'As long as you're aware that
the children will be outside then?' - Joan

'As long as you're aware that the children will be...

'Are you still coming on Thursday?
You can meet Peanuts.' - Joan

'Are you still coming on Thursday? You can meet Peanuts...

'OK, I'll let him know.'
Thank you so much. - Joan

'OK, I'll let him know.' Thank you so much.

TYRES SCREECH,
HORN BEEPS - Joan

TYRES SCREECH, HORN BEEPS

There we are.
Perfect engagement ring. - Joan

There we are. Perfect engagement ring.

OK. Come on. - Joan

Nice.
It's gorgeous. - Joan

Nice. It's gorgeous.

PHONE RINGS - Joan

So, what about the owner?
Woman. Lives on her own. - Joan

So, what about the owner? Woman. Lives on her own.

Oh, bloody hell. Everything? - Joan

Oh, bloody hell. Everything?

Everything. Art, books. - Joan

Everything. Art, books.

I can't believe she's gonna be here
in a couple of hours. - Joan

I can't believe she's gonna be here in a couple of...

Hard life when you're filthy rich.
No, no, I mean why get it valued? - Joan

Hard life when you're filthy rich. No, no, I mean why g...

SHE SQUEALS - Joan

I'm not nicking
my own engagement ring, am I? - Joan

I'm not nicking my own engagement ring, am I?

Well, I mean,
if she's already got a legit buyer, - Joan

Well, I mean, if she's already got a legit buyer,

I've got less than what I started
with. I've got nothing. Snap. - Joan

I've got less than what I started with. I've got n...

Oh, but it's all right if the cash
came from the 65 grand we got - Joan

Oh, but it's all right if the cash came from the 65 gra...

MUSIC: 'Tainted Love'
by Soft Cell - Joan

MUSIC: 'Tainted Love' by Soft Cell

I'll start again.
I've done it before. - Joan

I'll start again. I've done it before.

Hm? Cos we both know I am. - Joan

Hm? Cos we both know I am.

Oh, nothing. I was just gonna say... - Joan

Oh, nothing. I was just gonna say...

Right, we'll go back to London now,
get Jim Cho to knock up a sham. - Joan

Right, we'll go back to London now, get Jim Cho to knoc...

# Sometimes I feel
I've got to - Joan

# Sometimes I feel I've got to

I'll find a way in by day,
let you in at night. - Joan

I'll find a way in by day, let you in at night.

But... you need to watch your back - Joan

But... you need to watch your back

Just lay low, hide.
How? - Joan

Just lay low, hide. How?

SHE GRUNTS - Joan

You heard anything about
an art theft in Sussex? - Joan

You heard anything about an art theft in Sussex?

What? With the law?
Been done before. - Joan

What? With the law? Been done before.

# This tainted love
You've given - Joan

# This tainted love You've given

A George Stubbs got nicked,
and a gun was involved. - Joan

A George Stubbs got nicked, and a gun was involved.

But it would open a whole can of
worms for me and Albie as well. - Joan

But it would open a whole can of worms for me and Albie as w...

# Take my tears and that's... # - Joan

# Take my tears and that's... #

You're not worried that I'd do that?
Course not. - Joan

You're not worried that I'd do that? Course not.

BELL RINGS - Joan

BUZZER - Joan

IN SCOTTISH ACCENT:
Sorry to disturb. Er, I need help. - Joan

IN SCOTTISH ACCENT: Sorry to disturb. Er, I need help.

Me? Why would I? - Joan

Me? Why would I?

Morning.
Morning. - Joan

Morning. Morning.

If... If I could just use
your telephone and call a friend? - Joan

If... If I could just use your telephone and call a friend?

Joan poster

★ ★ ★ ★ ★

A mother in despair is swept up into the exhilarating world of crime as she swings between trying to get her daughter back from social services and building a daring, thriving career as a jewel thief.

User Rating: 0.0 (0 ratings)

Director: N/A

Writer: Anna Symon

Production:

Genre: crime, drama

Year: 2024

MetaScore: N/A/100

ImdbRating: 6.7

BoxOffice:

Released: 02 Oct 2024

Awards: N/A

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