"Just Married" quotes

Just Married poster
A young newlywed couple honeymoon in Europe, where obstacles challenge their ability to sustain the marriage.

Director: Shawn Levy
Writer: Sam Harper
Production: N/A
Genre: comedy, romance
Year: 2003
MetaScore: 28/100
ImdbRating: 5.5
BoxOffice: $56,127,162
Released: 10 Jan 2003
Awards: 8 nominations

49 Clips

Open the gates jack in the box - Just Married 00:08
Open the gates jack in the box
We call SWAT team on your ass - Just Married 00:04
We call SWAT team on your ass
Cheese and rice - Just Married 00:03
Cheese and rice
Yeah Well we're keeping the champagne and the cheese Jacques strap - Just Married 00:07
Yeah Well we're keeping the champagne and the cheese Jacques...
A powerful daddy plus family money equals expectations - Just Married 00:25
A powerful daddy plus family money equals expectations
Oh l hope she doesn't spook on you man - Just Married 00:12
Oh l hope she doesn't spook on you man
We are not leaving this intercom - Just Married 00:11
We are not leaving this intercom
We are not leaving this intercom - Just Married 00:09
We are not leaving this intercom
That's yours - Just Married 00:03
That's yours
L'm not either But we haven't had sex once since we've been married - Just Married 00:18
L'm not either But we haven't had sex once since we've been...
So l can either be happily married to Sarah or have 50 one night stands - Just Married 00:21
So l can either be happily married to Sarah or have 50 one...
So l guess everyone thinks we're crazy for doing this - Just Married 00:09
So l guess everyone thinks we're crazy for doing this
Well l had the perfect relationship that was ruined by marriage - Just Married 00:06
Well l had the perfect relationship that was ruined by...
Oh my God This is like a Twilight Zone - Just Married 00:08
Oh my God This is like a Twilight Zone
And the hits just keep on comin' - Just Married 00:05
And the hits just keep on comin'
How often are the Dodgers on TV in Europe - Just Married 00:05
How often are the Dodgers on TV in Europe
Maybe we should just have sex - Just Married 00:08
Maybe we should just have sex
Have you always told me the truth - Just Married 00:11
Have you always told me the truth
We're in this together right - Just Married 00:10
We're in this together right
Cheese and rice ls that a Thunderstick A200 - Just Married 00:36
Cheese and rice ls that a Thunderstick A200
That is one strong gate - Just Married 00:04
That is one strong gate
Return - Just Married 00:23
Return
The first sex l had on my honeymoon was with a man named Santino - Just Married 00:08
The first sex l had on my honeymoon was with a man named...
Son of a biatch - Just Married 00:07
Son of a biatch
We'll sic the hounds on you Leezak Bring 'em on Willie - Just Married 00:07
We'll sic the hounds on you Leezak Bring 'em on Willie
So what you're saying here is - Just Married 00:32
So what you're saying here is
Welcome to the honeymoon from hell shitheel - Just Married 00:16
Welcome to the honeymoon from hell shitheel
All right that is damn straight This is my wife Now open up the gate - Just Married 00:24
All right that is damn straight This is my wife Now open up...
Oh my God Tomorrow my parents are gonna know l'm not a virgin any more - Just Married 00:17
Oh my God Tomorrow my parents are gonna know l'm not a...
That was the longest freakin' piss in ltalian history - Just Married 00:05
That was the longest freakin' piss in ltalian history
Hello there Mr McNerney - Just Married 00:04
Hello there Mr McNerney
L miss doing time in prison with you - Just Married 00:06
L miss doing time in prison with you
Those birds are psychotic - Just Married 00:04
Those birds are psychotic
Wow Pussy's never insulted me Now l feel loved - Just Married 00:06
Wow Pussy's never insulted me Now l feel loved
Listen Leezak l don't expect a cracker like you to ever measure up - Just Married 00:28
Listen Leezak l don't expect a cracker like you to ever...
Listen Leezak l don't expect a cracker like you to ever measure up - Just Married 00:23
Listen Leezak l don't expect a cracker like you to ever...
We're never gonna forget this honeymoon - Just Married 00:05
We're never gonna forget this honeymoon
L just hope that l can - Just Married 00:15
L just hope that l can
No No but my husband does have two pounds of hash hidden in his rectum - Just Married 00:07
No No but my husband does have two pounds of hash hidden in...
L need to know everything - Just Married 00:08
L need to know everything
Tom you're acting crazy - Just Married 00:09
Tom you're acting crazy
L gotta warn you Leezak l studied karate with a Chinese grandmaster - Just Married 00:12
L gotta warn you Leezak l studied karate with a Chinese...
Look Yuan Willie whoever else is listening - Just Married 00:37
Look Yuan Willie whoever else is listening
Holy dude Jesus Good thing that didn't happen when we were using it - Just Married 00:07
Holy dude Jesus Good thing that didn't happen when we were...
Tell me how Peter ended up in our hotel Tell me what happened with Red Bra - Just Married 00:29
Tell me how Peter ended up in our hotel Tell me what...
Hello Peter So glad you could join us - Just Married 00:35
Hello Peter So glad you could join us
No What do we get We get evicted from a five star hotel - Just Married 00:14
No What do we get We get evicted from a five star hotel
Whatever Look this hotel gets guests from all over the world - Just Married 00:11
Whatever Look this hotel gets guests from all over the world
You never see the hard days in a photo album - Just Married 00:10
You never see the hard days in a photo album

Cast

Peter Prentiss - Christian Kane
Lauren - Monet Mazur
Mr. McNerney - David Rasche
Willie McNerney - Thad Luckinbill
Paul McNerney - David Agranov
Dickie McNerney - Taran Killam
Mr. Leezak - Raymond J. Barry
Yuan - Toshi Toda
Father Robert - George Gaynes
Henri Margeaux - Laurent Alexandre
Nasty Stewardess - Jill Parker-Jones
Huge Man on Plane - Sandy McCormack
Kid in the Bathroom - Timmy Fitzpatrick
Bernardo Salviati - Francesco Fantasia
Bouncer - Alex Ardenti
Prison Guard - Robert Branco
Customs Official - Joseph Vassallo
Car Rental Clerk - Clement von Franckenstein
Tow Truck Driver - Guido Föhrweißer
Italian Man - Lorenzo Caccialanza
Pedestrian - John Eric Brown
Mrs. 'Pussy' McNerney - Veronica Cartwright
Girl in Park - Cheryl Dent
Young Sarah - Alanna Hanly
Beach Football Player - T.J. Jefferson
Bar Patron - Summer Moore
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