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Kaalakaandi

Focusing on life, death and karma, this dark comedy follows three parallel tracks - a man who discovers that he is a terminally ill, a woman seeking redemption and two goons with major trust issues.

Director

Akshat Verma

Year

Genre

comedy, thriller

Box Office

N/A

Production

N/A

Awards

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Cast information not available.

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Explore 146 Clips

And because it's not an ulcer - Kaalakaandi

And because it's not an ulcer

And the Prozoxil - Kaalakaandi

And the Prozoxil

With.. With marijuana in it,
but my friends tricked me. - Kaalakaandi

With.. With marijuana in it, but my friends tricked me.

I'd advise you to put
your affairs in order - Kaalakaandi

I'd advise you to put your affairs in order

'Look how I deal with them!
Look at my style!' - Kaalakaandi

'Look how I deal with them! Look at my style!'

He had to undergo a complicated
surgery to save his life. - Kaalakaandi

He had to undergo a complicated surgery to save his life.

But he's a lucky guy.
- Yes! Really lucky. - Kaalakaandi

But he's a lucky guy. - Yes! Really lucky.

Birthday party? - No, to celebrate
25 years of working together. - Kaalakaandi

Birthday party? - No, to celebrate 25 years of working toget...

Silver jubilee.
- Amazing! - Kaalakaandi

Silver jubilee. - Amazing!

About 21 million tonnes of
wheat annually perishes in India - Kaalakaandi

About 21 million tonnes of wheat annually perishes in India

You know, you're not
the first person in the - Kaalakaandi

You know, you're not the first person in the

Those bloody white boys
are going to be hounding you. - Kaalakaandi

Those bloody white boys are going to be hounding you.

Because we don't have that kind of
time or money or energy right now. - Kaalakaandi

Because we don't have that kind of time or money or ene...

'Take your regular
everyday positions..' - Kaalakaandi

'Take your regular everyday positions..'

'Should I keep reading?' - Kaalakaandi

'Should I keep reading?'

'You said it was okay to read..' - Kaalakaandi

'You said it was okay to read..'

'I'm disappointed.
I thought you'd have me at hello.' - Kaalakaandi

'I'm disappointed. I thought you'd have me at...

'Just got off a plane.' - Kaalakaandi

'Just got off a plane.'

'Busy?' - Kaalakaandi

'Liar.' - Kaalakaandi

"Licking hopes" - Kaalakaandi

"Licking hopes"

What's there to mind?
It's a routine now. - Kaalakaandi

What's there to mind? It's a routine now.

Isn't it?
- Bye. - Kaalakaandi

Isn't it? - Bye.

The day before.
That guy can drink. - Kaalakaandi

The day before. That guy can drink.

Is this a wedding or a dance show?
Who's the judge? Madhuri? - Kaalakaandi

Is this a wedding or a dance show? Who's the judge? Mad...

Who's the pothead, you or I?
- I have a micro-dot, I think. - Kaalakaandi

Who's the pothead, you or I? - I have a micro-dot, I th...

Red star.
Good stuff. Very good stuff. - Kaalakaandi

Red star. Good stuff. Very good stuff.

My son will drop you, okay?
- Hey! - Kaalakaandi

My son will drop you, okay? - Hey!

I told you! He says he can see
a Chinese word in it. - Kaalakaandi

I told you! He says he can see a Chinese word in it.

'Get-a-haircut-you-damn-fool.' - Kaalakaandi

'Get-a-haircut-you-damn-fool.'

You're wearing this tonight?
- Yes, why? - Kaalakaandi

You're wearing this tonight? - Yes, why?

And in the whole world, you're
the only damn fool to buy it. - Kaalakaandi

And in the whole world, you're the only damn fool to bu...

You know how she is!
- What? - And? - And what? - Kaalakaandi

You know how she is! - What? - And? - And what?

What're you having?
- I have a flight to - Kaalakaandi

What're you having? - I have a flight to

So, what're you having?
- I'll.. I'll have a vodka. - Kaalakaandi

So, what're you having? - I'll.. I'll have a ...

How convenient!
- Young boys. Obedient. - Kaalakaandi

How convenient! - Young boys. Obedient.

Then you just find another one.
- You really should try - Kaalakaandi

Then you just find another one. - You really should try

We won't see this much money
even in a lifetime. Understand? - Kaalakaandi

We won't see this much money even in a lifetime. Unders...

Now, I want it.
For me. Personal. - Kaalakaandi

Now, I want it. For me. Personal.

What did Saxena feed you inside? - Kaalakaandi

What did Saxena feed you inside?

What if..
we take some of this money? - Kaalakaandi

What if.. we take some of this money?

Keep the profit, return the money.
Simple. - Kaalakaandi

Keep the profit, return the money. Simple.

How much time will this take?
- Time? I think.. - Kaalakaandi

How much time will this take? - Time? I think..

2.5 million goes missing
for a month - Kaalakaandi

2.5 million goes missing for a month

And if there was enough time - Kaalakaandi

And if there was enough time

Okay, why don't you decide
that after you go to America? - Kaalakaandi

Okay, why don't you decide that after you go to America...

I don't know. With all these
people, it could go all night. - Kaalakaandi

I don't know. With all these people, it could go all ni...

Where are you going?
- I'm going to explain - Kaalakaandi

Where are you going? - I'm going to explain

'They'll forgive you.' - Kaalakaandi

'They'll forgive you.'

I think it hit.
I think it hit. - What? - Kaalakaandi

I think it hit. I think it hit. - What?

Why haven't I done this before?
My whole life - Kaalakaandi

Why haven't I done this before? My whole life

I'm so stupid!
- Why are you yelling? - Kaalakaandi

I'm so stupid! - Why are you yelling?

Good evening! Hello!
How you are? - Kaalakaandi

Good evening! Hello! How you are?

No licky, no sucky,
no love you long time. - Kaalakaandi

No licky, no sucky, no love you long time.

I'm really curious
about your junk. - Kaalakaandi

I'm really curious about your junk.

And anyway - Kaalakaandi

"From morning, till the evening,
everything's been going wrong." - Kaalakaandi

"From morning, till the evening, everything's been...

We shouldn't even consider
anything below 10 million. - Kaalakaandi

We shouldn't even consider anything below 10 million.

Mr. Raza will think,
he got shot. - Kaalakaandi

Mr. Raza will think, he got shot.

'Make sure no one leaves
the hotel. Shut the gate. Over.' - Kaalakaandi

'Make sure no one leaves the hotel. Shut the gate. Over...

I don't know.
- Anyway, the cops came in - Kaalakaandi

I don't know. - Anyway, the cops came in

When you're using - Kaalakaandi

When you're using

Sooner or later - Kaalakaandi

Sooner or later

"Come to me.
I'm your love." - Kaalakaandi

"Come to me. I'm your love."

Sir, as you see,
I am just running in slow motion. - Kaalakaandi

Sir, as you see, I am just running in slow motion.

Slow motion, in reverse. - Kaalakaandi

Slow motion, in reverse.

All passengers are requested
to fasten their seatbelts. - Kaalakaandi

All passengers are requested to fasten their seatbelts.

Breakfast will be served shortly.
- What the hell are you on? - Kaalakaandi

Breakfast will be served shortly. - What the hell are you on...

In right about fucking now,
actually. I need your jacket. - Kaalakaandi

In right about fucking now, actually. I need your jacket.

Ma'am, I cannot sell my jacket.
It's not my jacket to sell. - Kaalakaandi

Ma'am, I cannot sell my jacket. It's not my jacket...

That guy next to Mr. Raza,
in the glasses.. - Kaalakaandi

That guy next to Mr. Raza, in the glasses..

The man who took a bullet
to save my life - Kaalakaandi

The man who took a bullet to save my life

But this man has been my shield. - Kaalakaandi

But this man has been my shield.

"I yearn to see you." - Kaalakaandi

"I yearn to see you."

"We'll be right here,
waiting for you." - Kaalakaandi

"We'll be right here, waiting for you."

List?
- Things to do before I die. - Kaalakaandi

List? - Things to do before I die.

No?
- You never know - Kaalakaandi

No? - You never know

Here we are! 2149. - Kaalakaandi

Here we are! 2149.

I have to tell you - Kaalakaandi

I have to tell you

Life's a party with Sheila! - Kaalakaandi

Life's a party with Sheila!

Ustad, I've been hearing - Kaalakaandi

Ustad, I've been hearing

How much..
How much do I owe you? - Kaalakaandi

How much.. How much do I owe you?

"This feeling is so pure.
O' Sheila!" - Kaalakaandi

"This feeling is so pure. O' Sheila!"

It wasn't a kiss.
It was.. It meant nothing. - Kaalakaandi

It wasn't a kiss. It was.. It meant nothing.

All right. Well - Kaalakaandi

All right. Well

I don't want your kids
to look at your wedding album - Kaalakaandi

I don't want your kids to look at your wedding album

Just..
Just go home, pack up your bags - Kaalakaandi

Just.. Just go home, pack up your bags

Old girlfriend calls you.
You can't bring yourself - Kaalakaandi

Old girlfriend calls you. You can't bring yourself

Yes, if the Spanish had brought
back marijuana instead of tobacco - Kaalakaandi

Yes, if the Spanish had brought back marijuana instead of to...

I'm not going to get married
because a bunch of people - Kaalakaandi

I'm not going to get married because a bunch of people

Kaalakaandi poster

★ ★ ★ ★ ★

Focusing on life, death and karma, this dark comedy follows three parallel tracks - a man who discovers that he is a terminally ill, a woman seeking redemption and two goons with major trust issues.

User Rating: 0.0 (0 ratings)

Director: Akshat Verma

Writer: Akshat Verma

Production: N/A

Genre: comedy, thriller

Year: 2018

MetaScore: N/A/100

ImdbRating: 6.2

BoxOffice: N/A

Released: 12 Jan 2018

Awards: N/A

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