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Katherine Ryan: Glitter Room

Canadian comic Katherine Ryan's stand-up special packed with anecdotes, jokes, and a pertinent take on society.

Director

Linda Mendoza

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♪ No gyal can tell me 'bout my mother ♪
♪ 16 shot, we go longer than a ladder ♪ - Katherine Ryan: Glitter Room

♪ No gyal can tell me 'bout my mother ♪ ♪ 16 shot, we g...

♪ Diss my mother
Then your skin start bleed ♪ - Katherine Ryan: Glitter Room

♪ Diss my mother Then your skin start bleed ♪

Welcome. Thank you so much
for sharing your evening with me. - Katherine Ryan: Glitter Room

Welcome. Thank you so much for sharing your evening with me...

What a thrill to be here - Katherine Ryan: Glitter Room

What a thrill to be here

My name is Katherine, - Katherine Ryan: Glitter Room

My name is Katherine,

Uh, all that it is, I suppose, - Katherine Ryan: Glitter Room

Uh, all that it is, I suppose,

I love men,
but I feel that men are like dolphins, - Katherine Ryan: Glitter Room

I love men, but I feel that men are like dolphins,

[cheering] - Katherine Ryan: Glitter Room

But that doesn't mean you should
have one in your house. Why would you... - Katherine Ryan: Glitter Room

But that doesn't mean you should have one in your hous...

And a large number of them
turn out to be sexual predators as well. - Katherine Ryan: Glitter Room

And a large number of them turn out to be sexual predators ...

Hashtag #notalldolphins,
but many dolphins. - Katherine Ryan: Glitter Room

Hashtag #notalldolphins, but many dolphins.

You know, you're statistically most likely
to be killed by the one in your house. - Katherine Ryan: Glitter Room

You know, you're statistically most likely to be killed...

"Well, Katherine, no, - Katherine Ryan: Glitter Room

"Well, Katherine, no,

They say, um... "Katherine,
you need to work harder - Katherine Ryan: Glitter Room

They say, um... "Katherine, you need to work harder

So, number one, - Katherine Ryan: Glitter Room

So, number one,

Someone said perhaps I should do
the entire show as their mother. - Katherine Ryan: Glitter Room

Someone said perhaps I should do the entire show as their m...

But that's a lot of admin,
and I don't have time for... - Katherine Ryan: Glitter Room

But that's a lot of admin, and I don't have time f...

Someone said, "Maybe build a set
like an entire kitchen, - Katherine Ryan: Glitter Room

Someone said, "Maybe build a set like an entire kitchen...

Men have a lot of safe spaces,
like the Senate and the world and... - Katherine Ryan: Glitter Room

Men have a lot of safe spaces, like the Senate and the world...

Um, I get it, I'm a woman - Katherine Ryan: Glitter Room

Um, I get it, I'm a woman

"Why doesn't she just sing a song?" - Katherine Ryan: Glitter Room

"Why doesn't she just sing a song?"

And for everyone's better life, - Katherine Ryan: Glitter Room

And for everyone's better life,

If I were this bad at anything else-- - Katherine Ryan: Glitter Room

If I were this bad at anything else--

Pretty sure my friends and family
would not be like, - Katherine Ryan: Glitter Room

Pretty sure my friends and family would not be like,

Just one more try." - Katherine Ryan: Glitter Room

Just one more try."

I think the ladies will agree with me, - Katherine Ryan: Glitter Room

I think the ladies will agree with me,

I don't have any sandwiches on me.
Perhaps if I speak to you from my knees. - Katherine Ryan: Glitter Room

I don't have any sandwiches on me. Perhaps if I speak t...

[cheering and applause] - Katherine Ryan: Glitter Room

[cheering and applause]

Six years in the house, Joseph!
And what do you do in there? - Katherine Ryan: Glitter Room

Six years in the house, Joseph! And what do you do in there?

[sniffling] "I play video games." [sighs] - Katherine Ryan: Glitter Room

[sniffling] "I play video games." [sighs]

Even though you're clearly far too young
to have a man in your house. - Katherine Ryan: Glitter Room

Even though you're clearly far too young to have a man ...

Listen, I'm glad
that it's working out for you, - Katherine Ryan: Glitter Room

Listen, I'm glad that it's working out for you,

I just feel like, right now,
it's best if I stay single - Katherine Ryan: Glitter Room

I just feel like, right now, it's best if I stay singl...

[cheering and applause] - Katherine Ryan: Glitter Room

[cheering and applause]

And there's not a person here
who wouldn't fuck Céline Dion. - Katherine Ryan: Glitter Room

And there's not a person here who wouldn't fuck C...

She has released albums in Japanese,
Mandarin Chinese, - Katherine Ryan: Glitter Room

She has released albums in Japanese, Mandarin Chinese,

The current president
of the world's largest economy - Katherine Ryan: Glitter Room

The current president of the world's largest economy

It's that I know Céline Dion's husband
met her when he was 38 years old - Katherine Ryan: Glitter Room

It's that I know Céline Dion's husband met her whe...

[audience gasping] - Katherine Ryan: Glitter Room

[audience gasping]

They're like, "Bah, I don't know,
Céline Dion, she knew what she was doing." - Katherine Ryan: Glitter Room

They're like, "Bah, I don't know, Céline Dio...

Just, you know, in charge of her
day-to-day affairs, like a father figure. - Katherine Ryan: Glitter Room

Just, you know, in charge of her day-to-day affairs, like a...

And nothing sexual happened
between them until the magical evening - Katherine Ryan: Glitter Room

And nothing sexual happened between them until the magical ...

He's over here trapped in the closet,
looking at this relationship like, "What? - Katherine Ryan: Glitter Room

He's over here trapped in the closet, looking at this ...

I would've been so much less creepy
if I grew up in Marseille! Why?" - Katherine Ryan: Glitter Room

I would've been so much less creepy if I grew up in Mar...

And I really recommend
having an English child. - Katherine Ryan: Glitter Room

And I really recommend having an English child.

Aw, she's got me feeling
like the Fresh Prince all day. - Katherine Ryan: Glitter Room

Aw, she's got me feeling like the Fresh Prince all day...

I appear to have mashed Nutella
into the carpet again." - Katherine Ryan: Glitter Room

I appear to have mashed Nutella into the carpet again."

But I love you, and hey, where's
Mummy's drink, though? Where is it?" - Katherine Ryan: Glitter Room

But I love you, and hey, where's Mummy's drink, t...

Would you like a day wine
or a night wine?" - Katherine Ryan: Glitter Room

Would you like a day wine or a night wine?"

She thinks white wine is for the day
and red wine is for the night. - Katherine Ryan: Glitter Room

She thinks white wine is for the day and red wine is for th...

We're not in France." - Katherine Ryan: Glitter Room

We're not in France."

But if she is mad at me, she'll just wait
three days, till we visit friends, - Katherine Ryan: Glitter Room

But if she is mad at me, she'll just wait three days, t...

She'll say,
"My mummy hides wine in the walls." - Katherine Ryan: Glitter Room

She'll say, "My mummy hides wine in the walls.&quo...

[sighs] - Katherine Ryan: Glitter Room

Does anyone know Jane from North London?
Do you guys know this prick? - Katherine Ryan: Glitter Room

Does anyone know Jane from North London? Do you guys know th...

So Jane used to have
a corporate career. And that's fine. - Katherine Ryan: Glitter Room

So Jane used to have a corporate career. And that's fi...

And now Jane stays home
to look after seven tiny children. - Katherine Ryan: Glitter Room

And now Jane stays home to look after seven tiny children.

Apart from I did not know
you could have that many that fast. - Katherine Ryan: Glitter Room

Apart from I did not know you could have that many that fas...

Her eldest daughter is the same age
as my only daughter, - Katherine Ryan: Glitter Room

Her eldest daughter is the same age as my only daughter,

Jane has an ass like a peach,
cervix like a Hula-Hoop. - Katherine Ryan: Glitter Room

Jane has an ass like a peach, cervix like a Hula-Hoop.

Jane's involved in all the fundraising
at the children's school, - Katherine Ryan: Glitter Room

Jane's involved in all the fundraising at the children...

How many cakes will you make?" - Katherine Ryan: Glitter Room

How many cakes will you make?"

Because the last time I helped you,
you sold my cakes for ten cents." - Katherine Ryan: Glitter Room

Because the last time I helped you, you sold my cakes for te...

"Are we selling these cakes
for Bangladeshi kids - Katherine Ryan: Glitter Room

"Are we selling these cakes for Bangladeshi kids

How and when were you ever effective
in the corporate world, bitch?" - Katherine Ryan: Glitter Room

How and when were you ever effective in the corporate world...

I said, "If it is about the money, Jane,
how about I cut you a check for $100, - Katherine Ryan: Glitter Room

I said, "If it is about the money, Jane, how about I c...

Jane has a ham-colored husband
call Brian. - Katherine Ryan: Glitter Room

Jane has a ham-colored husband call Brian.

I have never seen Brian
out of a bicycle helmet in my entire life. - Katherine Ryan: Glitter Room

I have never seen Brian out of a bicycle helmet in my entir...

But it gives me some insight into...
Men have identity issues, as well. - Katherine Ryan: Glitter Room

But it gives me some insight into... Men have identity issu...

He's about 45, - Katherine Ryan: Glitter Room

Bicycle helmet, workout gear, - Katherine Ryan: Glitter Room

Bicycle helmet, workout gear,

"Just here to collect my children." - Katherine Ryan: Glitter Room

"Just here to collect my children."

What is it about a middle-aged man, - Katherine Ryan: Glitter Room

What is it about a middle-aged man,

"I'm raising awareness for cancer!" - Katherine Ryan: Glitter Room

"I'm raising awareness for cancer!"

And there's some people,
that if you deviate, - Katherine Ryan: Glitter Room

And there's some people, that if you deviate,

She looks at me and she says,
"Oh, Katherine, - Katherine Ryan: Glitter Room

She looks at me and she says, "Oh, Katherine,

I would be so sad if I were alone." - Katherine Ryan: Glitter Room

I would be so sad if I were alone."

But when I'm alone,
I get to hang out with me." - Katherine Ryan: Glitter Room

But when I'm alone, I get to hang out with me."

Aren't you worried
that you're running out of time - Katherine Ryan: Glitter Room

Aren't you worried that you're running out of tim...

If anything, I have more time than you do - Katherine Ryan: Glitter Room

If anything, I have more time than you do

I don't have to do it." - Katherine Ryan: Glitter Room

I don't have to do it."

Um... But don't-- It's just because
I'm an excellent mother. - Katherine Ryan: Glitter Room

Um... But don't-- It's just because I'm an e...

So their eldest daughter, Hannah, - Katherine Ryan: Glitter Room

So their eldest daughter, Hannah,

My daughter gets deeply wounded
by bullying - Katherine Ryan: Glitter Room

My daughter gets deeply wounded by bullying

We are like two nine-year-olds, - Katherine Ryan: Glitter Room

We are like two nine-year-olds,

I mean, I was the only child in the world - Katherine Ryan: Glitter Room

I mean, I was the only child in the world

They could have victimized
any girl in the school, - Katherine Ryan: Glitter Room

They could have victimized any girl in the school,

'Cause the only other place I'd seen
women victimized for their looks - Katherine Ryan: Glitter Room

'Cause the only other place I'd seen women victimi...

So when it happened to me,
I was like, "Ah, I have arrived!" - Katherine Ryan: Glitter Room

So when it happened to me, I was like, "Ah, I have arri...

Katherine Ryan: Glitter Room poster

★ ★ ★ ★ ★

Canadian comic Katherine Ryan's stand-up special packed with anecdotes, jokes, and a pertinent take on society.

User Rating: 0.0 (0 ratings)

Director: Linda Mendoza

Writer: Katherine Ryan

Production: N/A

Genre: comedy

Year: 2019

MetaScore: N/A/100

ImdbRating: 6.8

BoxOffice: N/A

Released: 01 Jul 2019

Awards: N/A

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