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But I think the thing that's maybe more traumatizing
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Kelsey Cook: Mark Your Territory

But I think the thing that'smaybe more traumatizing than that procedure isthat when you...

But I think the thing that's
maybe more traumatizing than that procedure is
that when you get there, they ask you to give a urine sample and women dread giving urine samples, for dudes you guys just
whip your dong out

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:03.016
But I think the thing that's maybe more traumatizing
00:00:03.016 --> 00:00:05.011
than that procedure is that when you get there,
00:00:05.011 --> 00:00:07.024
they ask you to give a urine sample
00:00:07.024 --> 00:00:09.061
and women dread giving urine samples,
00:00:09.061 --> 00:00:12.046
for dudes you guys just whip your dong out.
Duration
13 seconds
Views
31
Timestamp in Movie
00:23:43
Uploaded
Mar 31, 2025
Genres
comedy
Production
800 Pound Gorilla Media

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Movie Summary

Kelsey Cook's second stand up special.
Women giving a urine sample - Kelsey Cook: Mark Your Territory 00:07
Women giving a urine sample
You are like, okay, this way, maybe this way. - Kelsey Cook: Mark Your Territory 00:06
You are like, okay, this way, maybe this way.
Well God damn it, - Kelsey Cook: Mark Your Territory 00:10
Well God damn it,
Because women only pee straight for two of the 20 seconds. - Kelsey Cook: Mark Your Territory 00:06
Because women only pee straight for two of the 20 seconds.
We pee, the rest of the time - Kelsey Cook: Mark Your Territory 00:09
We pee, the rest of the time
And then a doctor walks in with a thimble - Kelsey Cook: Mark Your Territory 00:09
And then a doctor walks in with a thimble
Something with handles, a wide berth - Kelsey Cook: Mark Your Territory 00:06
Something with handles, a wide berth
And a lot of the time you don't know you're gonna have - Kelsey Cook: Mark Your Territory 00:05
And a lot of the time you don't know you're gonna ...
So you peed right before you left the house - Kelsey Cook: Mark Your Territory 00:09
So you peed right before you left the house
But you don't have enough pressure in your stream for it - Kelsey Cook: Mark Your Territory 00:05
But you don't have enough pressure in your stream for i...
So you just get a babbling brook - Kelsey Cook: Mark Your Territory 00:12
So you just get a babbling brook
I walked out of there up to the nurse, I was like, well, - Kelsey Cook: Mark Your Territory 00:07
I walked out of there up to the nurse, I was like, well,
You fix it and then you lay back - Kelsey Cook: Mark Your Territory 00:11
You fix it and then you lay back
So after they're done, the nurse hands you a sticker - Kelsey Cook: Mark Your Territory 00:15
So after they're done, the nurse hands you a sticker
So I just pop that on my windshield - Kelsey Cook: Mark Your Territory 00:05
So I just pop that on my windshield
I got one that says Valvoline, one that says Volvoline. - Kelsey Cook: Mark Your Territory 00:05
I got one that says Valvoline, one that says Volvoline.
I just want just keep an eye. - Kelsey Cook: Mark Your Territory 00:06
I just want just keep an eye.
I told my dad about the sticker thing - Kelsey Cook: Mark Your Territory 00:06
I told my dad about the sticker thing
I wonder if it works the same way as a car - Kelsey Cook: Mark Your Territory 00:07
I wonder if it works the same way as a car
I mean, I'm definitely gonna use it on stage, - Kelsey Cook: Mark Your Territory 00:07
I mean, I'm definitely gonna use it on stage,