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So I texted him
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Kelsey Cook: Mark Your Territory

So I texted him and I was like, "Hey, I'mabout to my shit my pants." Siren emoji

So I texted him and I was like, "Hey, I'm
about to my shit my pants." Siren emoji

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:01.927
So I texted him
00:00:01.927 --> 00:00:06.194
and I was like, "Hey, I'm about to my shit my pants."
00:00:08.095 --> 00:00:13.095
Siren emoji,
Duration
15 seconds
Views
44
Timestamp in Movie
00:37:28
Uploaded
Mar 31, 2025
Genres
comedy
Production
800 Pound Gorilla Media

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Movie Summary

Kelsey Cook's second stand up special.
Fire emoji, making it crystal clear. - Kelsey Cook: Mark Your Territory 00:07
Fire emoji, making it crystal clear.
I can hear his phone get my text, - Kelsey Cook: Mark Your Territory 00:08
I can hear his phone get my text,
So now I realize I do not have access to a toilet - Kelsey Cook: Mark Your Territory 00:08
So now I realize I do not have access to a toilet
So I start frantically looking around our apartment - Kelsey Cook: Mark Your Territory 00:07
So I start frantically looking around our apartment
I know right away I was like, too high. - Kelsey Cook: Mark Your Territory 00:05
I know right away I was like, too high.
Next thing I see is my ex's favorite hat, - Kelsey Cook: Mark Your Territory 00:14
Next thing I see is my ex's favorite hat,
And so I looked and I looked - Kelsey Cook: Mark Your Territory 00:13
And so I looked and I looked
Like an old homeless man - Kelsey Cook: Mark Your Territory 00:08
Like an old homeless man
Our cats walked up to me and boops noses. - Kelsey Cook: Mark Your Territory 00:06
Our cats walked up to me and boops noses.
They were just looking at me like, oh, you are one of us. - Kelsey Cook: Mark Your Territory 00:05
They were just looking at me like, oh, you are one of us.
Neat and after I was done, - Kelsey Cook: Mark Your Territory 00:12
Neat and after I was done,
And I was like, because I'm not trying to dominate them - Kelsey Cook: Mark Your Territory 00:06
And I was like, because I'm not trying to dominate them
Do you understand what a deranged power move that would be - Kelsey Cook: Mark Your Territory 00:13
Do you understand what a deranged power move that would be
There are rules to this life, - Kelsey Cook: Mark Your Territory 00:11
There are rules to this life,
I don't ever want Chad to meet gross Kelsey, right? - Kelsey Cook: Mark Your Territory 00:05
I don't ever want Chad to meet gross Kelsey, right?
Well, I have a tiny one in my heart - Kelsey Cook: Mark Your Territory 00:09
Well, I have a tiny one in my heart
But when Chad and I moved in together last year, - Kelsey Cook: Mark Your Territory 00:07
But when Chad and I moved in together last year,
And then the next morning I got Chipotle, bad choices. - Kelsey Cook: Mark Your Territory 00:05
And then the next morning I got Chipotle, bad choices.
And we went back to our new place - Kelsey Cook: Mark Your Territory 00:07
And we went back to our new place
That takes a normal number to smell - Kelsey Cook: Mark Your Territory 00:08
That takes a normal number to smell