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So people flopped me up onto the dock and I stood up
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Kelsey Cook: Mark Your Territory

So people flopped me uponto the dock and I stood up and in front of every boy in my grade,...

So people flopped me up
onto the dock and I stood up and in front of every boy in my grade, 20 gallons of water
dumped out of my shorts for 40 straight seconds

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:04.069
So people flopped me up onto the dock and I stood up
00:00:04.069 --> 00:00:07.045
and in front of every boy in my grade,
00:00:07.045 --> 00:00:12.045
20 gallons of water dumped out of my shorts
00:00:14.008 --> 00:00:16.963
for 40 straight seconds.
Duration
18 seconds
Views
35
Timestamp in Movie
00:21:36
Uploaded
Mar 31, 2025
Genres
comedy
Production
800 Pound Gorilla Media

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Movie Summary

Kelsey Cook's second stand up special.
And that is how you don't get fingered - Kelsey Cook: Mark Your Territory 00:06
And that is how you don't get fingered
True story, I feel like all the boys in my grade were like, - Kelsey Cook: Mark Your Territory 00:14
True story, I feel like all the boys in my grade were like,
I actually got an IUD in recently because I heard - Kelsey Cook: Mark Your Territory 00:09
I actually got an IUD in recently because I heard
They basically shove a Lego in your uterus - Kelsey Cook: Mark Your Territory 00:06
They basically shove a Lego in your uterus
I'm like, "Oh, I wish you'd go fuck yourself." - Kelsey Cook: Mark Your Territory 00:10
I'm like, "Oh, I wish you'd go fuck yourself....
Oh my God, - Kelsey Cook: Mark Your Territory 00:06
Oh my God,
Alright, there are Avengers sitting amongst you tonight. - Kelsey Cook: Mark Your Territory 00:05
Alright, there are Avengers sitting amongst you tonight.
But I think the thing that's maybe more traumatizing - Kelsey Cook: Mark Your Territory 00:13
But I think the thing that's maybe more traumatizing
Women giving a urine sample - Kelsey Cook: Mark Your Territory 00:07
Women giving a urine sample
You are like, okay, this way, maybe this way. - Kelsey Cook: Mark Your Territory 00:06
You are like, okay, this way, maybe this way.
Well God damn it, - Kelsey Cook: Mark Your Territory 00:10
Well God damn it,
Because women only pee straight for two of the 20 seconds. - Kelsey Cook: Mark Your Territory 00:06
Because women only pee straight for two of the 20 seconds.
We pee, the rest of the time - Kelsey Cook: Mark Your Territory 00:09
We pee, the rest of the time
And then a doctor walks in with a thimble - Kelsey Cook: Mark Your Territory 00:09
And then a doctor walks in with a thimble
Something with handles, a wide berth - Kelsey Cook: Mark Your Territory 00:06
Something with handles, a wide berth
And a lot of the time you don't know you're gonna have - Kelsey Cook: Mark Your Territory 00:05
And a lot of the time you don't know you're gonna ...
So you peed right before you left the house - Kelsey Cook: Mark Your Territory 00:09
So you peed right before you left the house
But you don't have enough pressure in your stream for it - Kelsey Cook: Mark Your Territory 00:05
But you don't have enough pressure in your stream for i...
So you just get a babbling brook - Kelsey Cook: Mark Your Territory 00:12
So you just get a babbling brook
I walked out of there up to the nurse, I was like, well, - Kelsey Cook: Mark Your Territory 00:07
I walked out of there up to the nurse, I was like, well,