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This thing got so heavy, so fast
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Kelsey Cook: Mark Your Territory

This thing got so heavy, so fast you could see the water level of the lake just slowly...

This thing got so heavy, so fast you could see the water level of the lake just slowly going
lower and lower and lower

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:03.091
This thing got so heavy, so fast
00:00:03.091 --> 00:00:05.035
you could see the water level
00:00:05.035 --> 00:00:08.863
of the lake just slowly going lower and lower and lower
Duration
10 seconds
Views
34
Timestamp in Movie
00:21:12
Uploaded
Mar 30, 2025
Genres
comedy
Production
800 Pound Gorilla Media

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Movie Summary

Kelsey Cook's second stand up special.
Please help. - Kelsey Cook: Mark Your Territory 00:05
Please help.
So people flopped me up onto the dock and I stood up - Kelsey Cook: Mark Your Territory 00:18
So people flopped me up onto the dock and I stood up
And that is how you don't get fingered - Kelsey Cook: Mark Your Territory 00:06
And that is how you don't get fingered
True story, I feel like all the boys in my grade were like, - Kelsey Cook: Mark Your Territory 00:14
True story, I feel like all the boys in my grade were like,
I actually got an IUD in recently because I heard - Kelsey Cook: Mark Your Territory 00:09
I actually got an IUD in recently because I heard
They basically shove a Lego in your uterus - Kelsey Cook: Mark Your Territory 00:06
They basically shove a Lego in your uterus
I'm like, "Oh, I wish you'd go fuck yourself." - Kelsey Cook: Mark Your Territory 00:10
I'm like, "Oh, I wish you'd go fuck yourself....
Oh my God, - Kelsey Cook: Mark Your Territory 00:06
Oh my God,
Alright, there are Avengers sitting amongst you tonight. - Kelsey Cook: Mark Your Territory 00:05
Alright, there are Avengers sitting amongst you tonight.
But I think the thing that's maybe more traumatizing - Kelsey Cook: Mark Your Territory 00:13
But I think the thing that's maybe more traumatizing
Women giving a urine sample - Kelsey Cook: Mark Your Territory 00:07
Women giving a urine sample
You are like, okay, this way, maybe this way. - Kelsey Cook: Mark Your Territory 00:06
You are like, okay, this way, maybe this way.
Well God damn it, - Kelsey Cook: Mark Your Territory 00:10
Well God damn it,
Because women only pee straight for two of the 20 seconds. - Kelsey Cook: Mark Your Territory 00:06
Because women only pee straight for two of the 20 seconds.
We pee, the rest of the time - Kelsey Cook: Mark Your Territory 00:09
We pee, the rest of the time
And then a doctor walks in with a thimble - Kelsey Cook: Mark Your Territory 00:09
And then a doctor walks in with a thimble
Something with handles, a wide berth - Kelsey Cook: Mark Your Territory 00:06
Something with handles, a wide berth
And a lot of the time you don't know you're gonna have - Kelsey Cook: Mark Your Territory 00:05
And a lot of the time you don't know you're gonna ...
So you peed right before you left the house - Kelsey Cook: Mark Your Territory 00:09
So you peed right before you left the house
But you don't have enough pressure in your stream for it - Kelsey Cook: Mark Your Territory 00:05
But you don't have enough pressure in your stream for i...