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Kevin Hart: Irresponsible

Stand-up comedian Kevin Hart talks about his family, travel and a year full of reckless behavior in front of a live sold-out crowd in London.

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Leslie Small

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This is my favorite part of the show." - Kevin Hart: Irresponsible

This is my favorite part of the show."

You having sex in the missionary position
and your kids come and bust in the room. - Kevin Hart: Irresponsible

You having sex in the missionary position and your kids come...

All you got to do is fall down
and collapse on your lady. - Kevin Hart: Irresponsible

All you got to do is fall down and collapse on your lady.

[pretends to snore] - Kevin Hart: Irresponsible

[pretends to snore]

Ass naked doggy style
in the middle of the bed. - Kevin Hart: Irresponsible

Ass naked doggy style in the middle of the bed.

You gotta make it look like you playing
American football just.. hut hut! - Kevin Hart: Irresponsible

You gotta make it look like you playing American football ju...

Get your ass out here. We're going over
football plays. Get out of here. - Kevin Hart: Irresponsible

Get your ass out here. We're going over football plays....

We're playing a couple down the street
this week. Get your ass up out of here. - Kevin Hart: Irresponsible

We're playing a couple down the street this week. Get y...

My biggest fear was - Kevin Hart: Irresponsible

My biggest fear was

Don't let my kids talk to me
about the shit that they saw. - Kevin Hart: Irresponsible

Don't let my kids talk to me about the shit that they s...

I don't like to talk about it.
Let it float in the air and disappear. - Kevin Hart: Irresponsible

I don't like to talk about it. Let it float in the air ...

My son gave me a look - Kevin Hart: Irresponsible

My son gave me a look

I gave him a look back that said,
"Don't you fucking ask me - Kevin Hart: Irresponsible

I gave him a look back that said, "Don't you fucki...

I had to take my son's phone from him,
which is the worst thing to do to a child. - Kevin Hart: Irresponsible

I had to take my son's phone from him, which is the wor...

Taking a kid's phone is detrimental
to a child's lifestyle. - Kevin Hart: Irresponsible

Taking a kid's phone is detrimental to a child's l...

As soon as I took his phone, - Kevin Hart: Irresponsible

As soon as I took his phone,

You're not getting the phone
till you get your shit together." - Kevin Hart: Irresponsible

You're not getting the phone till you get your shit tog...

He said, [quavering voice]
"Come on, Daddy, don't do me like that." - Kevin Hart: Irresponsible

He said, [quavering voice] "Come on, Daddy, don't ...

You're not getting the phone back
till you get your shit together." - Kevin Hart: Irresponsible

You're not getting the phone back till you get your shi...

I need to see what my son has been
talking about on his goddamn phone." - Kevin Hart: Irresponsible

I need to see what my son has been talking about on his godd...

I don't got the thumbprint,
the face ID, nothing. - Kevin Hart: Irresponsible

I don't got the thumbprint, the face ID, nothing.

I gotta go back to this little nigga and
ask him to put the damn code in the phone. - Kevin Hart: Irresponsible

I gotta go back to this little nigga and ask him to put the ...

"Put the code in so I can see
what you been talking about." - Kevin Hart: Irresponsible

"Put the code in so I can see what you been talking abo...

"Put the code in before I punch you in
the fucking throat." That's what I said. - Kevin Hart: Irresponsible

"Put the code in before I punch you in the fucking thro...

Like I'm not gonna see him
at dinner in ten minutes. - Kevin Hart: Irresponsible

Like I'm not gonna see him at dinner in ten minutes.

Gimme the code to the phone
before I kick you in the back." - Kevin Hart: Irresponsible

Gimme the code to the phone before I kick you in the back.&q...

I run downstairs, grab my son by the neck. - Kevin Hart: Irresponsible

I run downstairs, grab my son by the neck.

I start choking the shit out of my son. - Kevin Hart: Irresponsible

I start choking the shit out of my son.

"What the fuck you say to me?" - Kevin Hart: Irresponsible

"What the fuck you say to me?"

Is it Y-O-U or the letter U?
How you spell it? - Kevin Hart: Irresponsible

Is it Y-O-U or the letter U? How you spell it?

I scratched your neck up real good.
I apologize. - Kevin Hart: Irresponsible

I scratched your neck up real good. I apologize.

I'm gonna get you a turtleneck, - Kevin Hart: Irresponsible

I'm gonna get you a turtleneck,

Daughter's 13, my son is ten now. - Kevin Hart: Irresponsible

Daughter's 13, my son is ten now.

If you're a parent here tonight,
and you don't think your kids curse, - Kevin Hart: Irresponsible

If you're a parent here tonight, and you don't thi...

Fuck, mother bitch, shit, dick, pussy,
asshole, bitch. - Kevin Hart: Irresponsible

Fuck, mother bitch, shit, dick, pussy, asshole, bitch.

[laughter] - Kevin Hart: Irresponsible

You keep fucking with me,
I'm gonna bust your ass." - Kevin Hart: Irresponsible

You keep fucking with me, I'm gonna bust your ass."...

What the hell is going on in there?" - Kevin Hart: Irresponsible

What the hell is going on in there?"

He's such a bitch. - Kevin Hart: Irresponsible

He's such a bitch.

"Honestly, really, then what, nothing.
So why are we talking about it? Okay." - Kevin Hart: Irresponsible

"Honestly, really, then what, nothing. So why are we ta...

Older sisters love to whip up
on their younger brothers. - Kevin Hart: Irresponsible

Older sisters love to whip up on their younger brothers.

I just heard my son.
He was like, "Oh, God, not again." - Kevin Hart: Irresponsible

I just heard my son. He was like, "Oh, God, not again.&...

She's a little tomboy, man.
She's a tough fucking girl. - Kevin Hart: Irresponsible

She's a little tomboy, man. She's a tough fucking ...

I saw the signs: emotions,
feelings all over the goddamn place. - Kevin Hart: Irresponsible

I saw the signs: emotions, feelings all over the goddamn pla...

I tried to prepare for this period
as if it was an earthquake. I went out... - Kevin Hart: Irresponsible

I tried to prepare for this period as if it was an earthquak...

I bought a bunch of emergency period kits,
put them in jacket pockets, her book bags. - Kevin Hart: Irresponsible

I bought a bunch of emergency period kits, put them in jacke...

My fear was I didn't want my baby to get
the blood butt at school. - Kevin Hart: Irresponsible

My fear was I didn't want my baby to get the blood butt...

Right now? Is it happening right now?" - Kevin Hart: Irresponsible

Right now? Is it happening right now?"

I said, "Go in the kitchen,
get a gallon of milk, drink it. Hurry up. - Kevin Hart: Irresponsible

I said, "Go in the kitchen, get a gallon of milk, drink...

I opened up a maxi-pad
like it was a grenade. I said, "Argh!" - Kevin Hart: Irresponsible

I opened up a maxi-pad like it was a grenade. I said, "...

I love that my kids don't add stress
to my life. - Kevin Hart: Irresponsible

I love that my kids don't add stress to my life.

The reason why, sir,
is because this marriage has to work. - Kevin Hart: Irresponsible

The reason why, sir, is because this marriage has to work.

When you get there, at that point,
you're not even looking for love. - Kevin Hart: Irresponsible

When you get there, at that point, you're not even look...

You're looking for somebody to die with. - Kevin Hart: Irresponsible

You're looking for somebody to die with.

You try and die together? Yes or no?
I'll die with you, if you die with me. - Kevin Hart: Irresponsible

You try and die together? Yes or no? I'll die with you,...

Crazy thing about my relationship
is that it's on display. - Kevin Hart: Irresponsible

Crazy thing about my relationship is that it's on displ...

What makes me laugh is when people act
like they live my life. - Kevin Hart: Irresponsible

What makes me laugh is when people act like they live my lif...

"Kevin Hart did it again.
Kevin Hart fucked up again." - Kevin Hart: Irresponsible

"Kevin Hart did it again. Kevin Hart fucked up again.&q...

Okay? In my first marriage,
I filed for a divorce. - Kevin Hart: Irresponsible

Okay? In my first marriage, I filed for a divorce.

That means I chose to leave.
That means I made a better decision - Kevin Hart: Irresponsible

That means I chose to leave. That means I made a better deci...

But I don't like it when people act like
you plan to fuck up. - Kevin Hart: Irresponsible

But I don't like it when people act like you plan to fu...

You don't walk outside, like,
today is the perfect day for a fuck-up. - Kevin Hart: Irresponsible

You don't walk outside, like, today is the perfect day ...

Lesson number one that I learned, - Kevin Hart: Irresponsible

Lesson number one that I learned,

Had to look in a mirror. I had to have
a conversation with myself. - Kevin Hart: Irresponsible

Had to look in a mirror. I had to have a conversation with m...

You're almost 40 years old, you're still
doing the same dumb shit, grow up! - Kevin Hart: Irresponsible

You're almost 40 years old, you're still doing the...

Grow up!" - Kevin Hart: Irresponsible

That put me in heavy
"kiss-my-wife's-ass" mode. - Kevin Hart: Irresponsible

That put me in heavy "kiss-my-wife's-ass" mod...

With that being said, - Kevin Hart: Irresponsible

With that being said,

Now when you try to fight - Kevin Hart: Irresponsible

Now when you try to fight

I went out, I bought a mirror, - Kevin Hart: Irresponsible

I went out, I bought a mirror,

It was all good until I caught
a reflection of myself in that mirror - Kevin Hart: Irresponsible

It was all good until I caught a reflection of myself in tha...

Whatever you think you look like
when you fucking, - Kevin Hart: Irresponsible

Whatever you think you look like when you fucking,

I'm talking about an unexpected glimpse - Kevin Hart: Irresponsible

I'm talking about an unexpected glimpse

I have never been more disgusted - Kevin Hart: Irresponsible

I have never been more disgusted

I wouldn't fuck nobody with feet
like this! It's disgusting. - Kevin Hart: Irresponsible

I wouldn't fuck nobody with feet like this! It's d...

Had a full batch of measles on my ass
and didn't know it. - Kevin Hart: Irresponsible

Had a full batch of measles on my ass and didn't know i...

I got braille on my butt,
this is disgusting." - Kevin Hart: Irresponsible

I got braille on my butt, this is disgusting."

Every man in this room has turned
to porn at some point in time. - Kevin Hart: Irresponsible

Every man in this room has turned to porn at some point in t...

We don't give people that do porn
enough credit and enough respect. - Kevin Hart: Irresponsible

We don't give people that do porn enough credit and eno...

You can't just watch that shit and go home
and try it. It don't work like that. - Kevin Hart: Irresponsible

You can't just watch that shit and go home and try it. ...

That's like watching a karate movie,
going outside, getting in a fight, - Kevin Hart: Irresponsible

That's like watching a karate movie, going outside, get...

I had good Kevin on this side.
Bad Kevin was on this side. - Kevin Hart: Irresponsible

I had good Kevin on this side. Bad Kevin was on this side.

Good Kevin popped up. Good Kevin had on
a pair of khakis and a v-neck sweater. - Kevin Hart: Irresponsible

Good Kevin popped up. Good Kevin had on a pair of khakis and...

That's a good woman.
You talk to her first." - Kevin Hart: Irresponsible

That's a good woman. You talk to her first."

Bad Kevin had on a pair of leather pants
and a fishnet tank top. - Kevin Hart: Irresponsible

Bad Kevin had on a pair of leather pants and a fishnet tank ...

He was doing this, "Bad, Kevin." - Kevin Hart: Irresponsible

He was doing this, "Bad, Kevin."

[woman cackles] - Kevin Hart: Irresponsible

[woman cackles]

Out of nowhere, she was like,
"You just fucking spit on me!" - Kevin Hart: Irresponsible

Out of nowhere, she was like, "You just fucking spit on...

The lady in the porn went crazy
when it happened. She was like... - Kevin Hart: Irresponsible

The lady in the porn went crazy when it happened. She was li...

[whimpering] Ooooh! Ooooh! - Kevin Hart: Irresponsible

[whimpering] Ooooh! Ooooh!

Kevin Hart: Irresponsible poster

★ ★ ★ ★ ★

Stand-up comedian Kevin Hart talks about his family, travel and a year full of reckless behavior in front of a live sold-out crowd in London.

User Rating: 0.0 (0 ratings)

Director: Leslie Small

Writer: Kevin Hart

Production: N/A

Genre: comedy

Year: 2019

MetaScore: N/A/100

ImdbRating: 6.6

BoxOffice: N/A

Released: 02 Apr 2019

Awards: N/A

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