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Kick Ass

Kick Ass poster
★ ★ ★ ★ ★
IMDb
7.6
Metascore
66
Favorite Add to Favorites
Dave Lizewski is an unnoticed high school student and comic book fan who one day decides to become a superhero, even though he has no powers, training or meaningful reason to do so.
Director
Matthew Vaughn
Year
2010
Genre
action, comedy, crime
Box Office
$48,071,303
Production
Marv,Plan B Entertainment
Awards
19 wins & 62 nominations
Part of Collection
Kick-Ass Collection: Kick Ass, Kick Ass 2
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Guardian of the universe protecting us against the forces of evil. - Kick Ass 00:32
Guardian of the universe protecting us against the forces of...
NARRATOR: I always wondered why nobody did it before me. - Kick Ass 00:33
NARRATOR: I always wondered why nobody did it before me.
That's not me, by the way. - Kick Ass 00:17
That's not me, by the way.
Who am I I'm Kick AssThat's me back before any of this crazy shit happenedI guess I was the last person you'd expect to become a superheroI'm not saying there was anything wrong with mebut there was nothing special eitherGIRL Asshole I wasn't into sportsI - Kick Ass 00:53
Who am I I'm Kick AssThat's me back before any of...
That's me, back before any of this crazy shit happened. - Kick Ass 00:40
That's me, back before any of this crazy shit happened.
Like most people my age I just existed - Kick Ass 00:05
Like most people my age I just existed
Good morning, class. - Kick Ass 00:21
Good morning, class.
DAVE: Or jerking off, mostly to my English teacher. - Kick Ass 00:36
DAVE: Or jerking off, mostly to my English teacher.
Dave Lizewski - Kick Ass 00:12
Dave Lizewski
Don't think I haven't noticed you looking at my tits DaveMOANS I want your hands all over me DavePlease - Kick Ass 00:12
Don't think I haven't noticed you looking at my...
DAVE Sure a lot of what got me through the average school daywas making deposits in the whack off warehouse for laterThough to be honestit didn't take much to set me offI swear when my hormones balance outshares in Kleenex are gonna take a dive man - Kick Ass 00:18
DAVE Sure a lot of what got me through the average school...
Jesus guys does it not bug youWhy thousands of people wanna be Paris Hiltonand nobody wants to be Spider ManYeah what's with that She has like no tits at allMaybe it's the porn tape He doesn't have a porn tapeYou guys never saw One Night in Spider Man - Kick Ass 00:15
Jesus guys does it not bug youWhy thousands of people wanna...
DAVE: Is it me or do you kind of feel sorry for Chris D'Amico? - Kick Ass 00:40
DAVE: Is it me or do you kind of feel sorry for Chris...
MARTY: Did you spray anything over there? - Kick Ass 00:43
MARTY: Did you spray anything over there?
Come on, be honest with yourself. - Kick Ass 00:15
Come on, be honest with yourself.
The world I lived in heroes only existed in comic booksAnd I guess that would have been okay if bad guys were make believe tooBut they're not - Kick Ass 00:14
The world I lived in heroes only existed in comic booksAnd I...
Now my son is waiting out there in the car to go to the movies, and I ain't gonna disappoint him. - Kick Ass 00:16
Now my son is waiting out there in the car to go to the...
- Sorry you had to wait, buddy. - Kick Ass 00:30
- Sorry you had to wait, buddy.
DAVE: The comic books had it wrong. - Kick Ass 00:16
DAVE: The comic books had it wrong.
You are fucking awesome. - Kick Ass 00:10
You are fucking awesome.
Daddy, I'm scared. - Kick Ass 00:32
Daddy, I'm scared.
So have you thought a little more about what you might want for your birthdayCan I get a puppyYou wanna get a dogYeah a cuddly fluffy oneAnd a Bratz Movie Star Makeover SashaLAUGHSI'm just fucking with you DaddyLook I'd love a Benchmade Model 42 butterfly - Kick Ass 00:30
So have you thought a little more about what you might want...
I'm just fucking with you, Daddy. - Kick Ass 00:22
I'm just fucking with you, Daddy.
GIRL: "The glass of fashion and the mold of form "The observed of all observers quite, quite down! - Kick Ass 00:12
GIRL: "The glass of fashion and the mold of form...
DAVE I'll be honestthere wasn't a whole lot of crime fighting in those first few weeksBut even so my new vocation kept me plenty busyGRUNTINGShitI called it preparationBut if you called it fantasizing it would have been hard to argueAll I knew was I'd - Kick Ass 00:31
DAVE I'll be honestthere wasn't a whole lot of...
But if you called it fantasizing, it would have been hard to argue. - Kick Ass 00:11
But if you called it fantasizing, it would have been hard to...
Fuck! Okay, maybe I was still in the beta-testing phase, but it was a start. - Kick Ass 00:12
Fuck! Okay, maybe I was still in the beta-testing phase, but...
What the fuck are you looking at? - Kick Ass 00:28
What the fuck are you looking at?
What the fuck are you looking at? - Kick Ass 00:07
What the fuck are you looking at?
DAVE: Like every serial killer already knew, eventually, fantasizing just doesn't do it for you anymore. - Kick Ass 00:19
DAVE: Like every serial killer already knew, eventually,...
It was time to engage - Kick Ass 00:26
It was time to engage
What the fuck you looking at? - Kick Ass 00:12
What the fuck you looking at?
Two cheap-shit losers screwing with a car that someone probably worked their ass off to pay for. - Kick Ass 00:31
Two cheap-shit losers screwing with a car that someone...
- Shit! - Let's get out of here! - Kick Ass 00:16
- Shit! - Let's get out of here!
DAVE: I came around for just long enough to beg the medic not to tell anybody about the costume. - Kick Ass 00:14
DAVE: I came around for just long enough to beg the medic...
DOORMAN: Why can't I have a gun? - Kick Ass 00:18
DOORMAN: Why can't I have a gun?
Look at me I look like a putz - Kick Ass 00:08
Look at me I look like a putz
- Good morning, Frank. - Kick Ass 00:19
- Good morning, Frank.
Okay. Sorry, hon. Do what you got to do. - Kick Ass 00:07
Okay. Sorry, hon. Do what you got to do.
Chris, where do you think you're going? - Kick Ass 00:29
Chris, where do you think you're going?
I think we'd better invite our Russian over for a friendly chat, see what's really going on. - Kick Ass 00:10
I think we'd better invite our Russian over for a...
Hey, early birdie. - Kick Ass 00:13
Hey, early birdie.
Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you! - Kick Ass 00:08
Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you!
- What's the problem? - Kick Ass 00:55
- What's the problem?
Can he hear you? - Kick Ass 00:10
Can he hear you?
Who sold you our coke? - Kick Ass 00:15
Who sold you our coke?
DAVE: This is awesome! - Kick Ass 00:47
DAVE: This is awesome!
DAVE: Seemed like no time at all before I was back on my feet. - Kick Ass 00:33
DAVE: Seemed like no time at all before I was back on my...
Stop with the fork I apologize - Kick Ass 00:23
Stop with the fork I apologize
Oh no I'm just standing around you knowNo I'm notIt is what it isHow about that huhOh yeah Didn't see that did youI think it's best that you just walk awayWell maybe you shouldn't do thatWhat Are you looking at me Well this is my business - Kick Ass 00:21
Oh no I'm just standing around you knowNo I'm...
Me? My hardware was fixed now. I was back and running Kick-Ass version 2.0. - Kick Ass 00:09
Me? My hardware was fixed now. I was back and running...
Excuse me, have you seen this cat? - Kick Ass 00:17
Excuse me, have you seen this cat?
Oh, great. - Kick Ass 00:24
Oh, great.
Oh, great! - Kick Ass 00:08
Oh, great!
Come on. no, no, no, no, no. - Kick Ass 00:08
Come on. no, no, no, no, no.
Fuck you, Mr. - Kick Ass 00:11
Fuck you, Mr.
- Oh, God, I'm so sorry, man. - Kick Ass 00:22
- Oh, God, I'm so sorry, man.
Thanks, freak. - Kick Ass 00:13
Thanks, freak.
Hey, there's a dude dressed like a superhero fighting a bunch of guys. - Kick Ass 00:12
Hey, there's a dude dressed like a superhero fighting a...
Hey, there's a dude dressed like a superhero out there fighting a bunch of guys. - Kick Ass 00:07
Hey, there's a dude dressed like a superhero out there...
Leave him alone! - Kick Ass 00:37
Leave him alone!
Fuck. VICTIM: Thank you. - Kick Ass 00:10
Fuck. VICTIM: Thank you.
That fucking rocked. - Kick Ass 00:09
That fucking rocked.
Of course not, no. - Kick Ass 00:08
Of course not, no.
DAVE: I don't know if I was everything Katie had always dreamed her gay BFF would be, but I tried my best. - Kick Ass 00:35
DAVE: I don't know if I was everything Katie had always...
Who the fuck are you supposed to be, the Green Condom? - Kick Ass 00:19
Who the fuck are you supposed to be, the Green Condom?
Who the fuck are you supposed to be the Green CondomYou know it ain't Halloween for another few months kid - Kick Ass 00:09
Who the fuck are you supposed to be the Green CondomYou know...
So, which one of you guys is Rasul? - Kick Ass 00:05
So, which one of you guys is Rasul?
What is this? - Kick Ass 00:13
What is this?
- Katie? - You're Rasul? - Kick Ass 00:28
- Katie? - You're Rasul?
Or what? - Kick Ass 00:24
Or what?
I'm right here now, baby. - Kick Ass 00:08
I'm right here now, baby.
Okay, you cunts, let's see what you can do now. - Kick Ass 00:15
Okay, you cunts, let's see what you can do now.
Hey I got one of those - Kick Ass 00:03
Hey I got one of those
Come on. - Kick Ass 00:06
Come on.
So you want to play - Kick Ass 00:03
So you want to play
What the fuck? - Kick Ass 00:17
What the fuck?
Oh, dude, that is one gay-looking Taser. - Kick Ass 00:32
Oh, dude, that is one gay-looking Taser.
Now Hit Girl we always keep our backs whereTo the wall Daddy I knowIt won't happen againNice shot by the way Thank you - Kick Ass 00:14
Now Hit Girl we always keep our backs whereTo the wall Daddy...
Let's go. - Kick Ass 00:08
Let's go.
Hey hey asshole Can't use the front door now - Kick Ass 00:05
Hey hey asshole Can't use the front door now
Wait, wait, wait! - Kick Ass 00:16
Wait, wait, wait!
DAVE: Hit Girl and Big Daddy, they were the real deal. - Kick Ass 00:13
DAVE: Hit Girl and Big Daddy, they were the real deal.
What is this? - Kick Ass 00:58
What is this?
How do I get a hold of youYou just contact the mayor's office He has a special signal he shines in the skyIt's in the shape of a giant cock - Kick Ass 00:10
How do I get a hold of youYou just contact the mayor's...
We'll find you Hit Girl back to headquarters - Kick Ass 00:05
We'll find you Hit Girl back to headquarters
Let me out now I gave you all them names and addressesHey I won't say nothing to nobodyYou and your crazy midget friend can go bash whoever you wantHey come on Hey I know some very bad people uptownreally nasty individuals Let me go Hey come on - Kick Ass 00:17
Let me out now I gave you all them names and addressesHey I...
What a douche - Kick Ass 00:04
What a douche
You have done self tan before, right? - Kick Ass 00:36
You have done self tan before, right?
DAMON: Once upon a time, there were two supercops, called Daddy and Marcus, who were very good at getting bad guys. - Kick Ass 00:17
DAMON: Once upon a time, there were two supercops, called...
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Kick Ass poster
★ ★ ★ ★ ★
Dave Lizewski is an unnoticed high school student and comic book fan who one day decides to become a superhero, even though he has no powers, training or meaningful reason to do so.

User Rating: 0.0 (0 ratings)
Director: Matthew Vaughn
Writer: Jane Goldman, Matthew Vaughn, Mark Millar
Production: Marv,Plan B Entertainment
Genre: action, comedy, crime
Year: 2010
MetaScore: 66/100
ImdbRating: 7.6
BoxOffice: $48,071,303
Released: 16 Apr 2010
Awards: 19 wins & 62 nominations
Homepage:
Kick-Ass Collection: Kick Ass, Kick Ass 2
Also watch: Kick Ass 2, Tropic Thunder, Casino Royale, How to Train Your Dragon, Machete, Zombieland, Pineapple Express, Hellboy, 21 Jump Street, Blade II, Sherlock Holmes, Ted, Chronicle, Shutter Island, Die Hard 2, Spider Man, Taken, Date Night, Die Hard with a Vengeance, Kill Bill: Vol 1

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