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And I am a goddamn certified modern-day superhero
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Killing Hasselhoff

And I am a goddamn certifiedmodern-day superhero

And I am a goddamn certified
modern-day superhero

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:05.267
And I am a goddamn certified modern-day superhero.
Duration
5 seconds
Views
23
Timestamp in Movie
00:34:24
Uploaded
Jun 30, 2025
Genres
comedy
Production
Lotus Pictures,WWE Studios,Hyde Park Entertainment

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Movie Summary

A struggling nightclub owner resorts to desperate measures in order to pay off a loan shark.
And I am going to prove it to you. Love you. - Killing Hasselhoff 00:05
And I am going to prove it to you. Love you.
Great. Now I've gotta kill a guy who shoots lightning out of his dick. - Killing Hasselhoff 00:04
Great. Now I've gotta kill a guy who shoots lightning o...
I realise this is probably a highly unpleasant situation for you - Killing Hasselhoff 00:07
I realise this is probably a highly unpleasant situation for...
- I don't know where he is. - Bullshit. Start talking, lady. - Killing Hasselhoff 00:05
- I don't know where he is. - Bullshit. Start talking, ...
It's... it's the truth. I swear. He thinks I slept with his best friend. - Killing Hasselhoff 00:05
It's... it's the truth. I swear. He thinks I slept...
Chris is terrible with money. He's in way over his head. - Killing Hasselhoff 00:04
Chris is terrible with money. He's in way over his head...
- Yes. He is. - Please don't hurt him. - Killing Hasselhoff 00:05
- Yes. He is. - Please don't hurt him.
Little lady, please don't be confused by my tranquillity. - Killing Hasselhoff 00:05
Little lady, please don't be confused by my tranquillit...
Chris is in some stupid celebrity death pool with his friends. - Killing Hasselhoff 00:04
Chris is in some stupid celebrity death pool with his friend...
If David Hasselhoff dies, he wins something like a half a million dollars. - Killing Hasselhoff 00:04
If David Hasselhoff dies, he wins something like a half a mi...
Half-mil if the Hoff kicks the bucket? Fuck me. I want a piece of that. - Killing Hasselhoff 00:05
Half-mil if the Hoff kicks the bucket? Fuck me. I want a pie...
Yeah, you know what? I do too. - Killing Hasselhoff 00:05
Yeah, you know what? I do too.
Sounds good. Maybe a blooming onion. Should I leave this closed or open? - Killing Hasselhoff 00:05
Sounds good. Maybe a blooming onion. Should I leave this clo...
- David, you look great. - Like a second skin, Barry. - Killing Hasselhoff 00:05
- David, you look great. - Like a second skin, Barry.
You know, I hate to sound egotistical, but if I was a woman, I would... - Killing Hasselhoff 00:04
You know, I hate to sound egotistical, but if I was a woman,...
You'd do yourself. Yes, I know. You said that inside already. - Killing Hasselhoff 00:04
You'd do yourself. Yes, I know. You said that inside al...
And honestly, buddy, there's no way to say that without sounding egotistical, - Killing Hasselhoff 00:08
And honestly, buddy, there's no way to say that without...
- KITT, calculate time to destination. - Calculating, Michael. - Killing Hasselhoff 00:10
- KITT, calculate time to destination. - Calculating, Michae...
- How much is he paying you? - Nothing. He... - Killing Hasselhoff 00:04
- How much is he paying you? - Nothing. He...
- But there is no superhero mu... - But there will be. - Killing Hasselhoff 00:04
- But there is no superhero mu... - But there will be.