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"Kingpin" quotes

Kingpin poster
A star bowler whose career was prematurely "cut off" hopes to ride a new prodigy to success and riches.

Director: Bobby Farrelly, Peter Farrelly
Writer: Barry Fanaro, Mort Nathan
Production: N/A
Genre: comedy, sport
Year: 1996
MetaScore: 43/100
ImdbRating: 6.9
BoxOffice: $25,023,434
Released: 26 Jul 1996
Awards: N/A
Brother Thomas you know what it says in the Bible - Kingpin 00:20 Brother Thomas you know what it says in the Bible Got word he died about 10 years ago - Kingpin 00:14 Got word he died about 10 years ago I've done a lot of creepy things in my life - Kingpin 00:14 I've done a lot of creepy things in my life Sometimes a bowler just has to face the music - Kingpin 00:06 Sometimes a bowler just has to face the music Hi Mr Skidmark - Kingpin 00:08 Hi Mr Skidmark I got to crap I need something to read Here use this shampoo - Kingpin 00:17 I got to crap I need something to read Here use this shampoo Why would a bowler need a manager - Kingpin 00:36 Why would a bowler need a manager Father please do something Oh yeah - Kingpin 00:16 Father please do something Oh yeah Sorry Pa I was out in the cornfield and the stalks were broken - Kingpin 00:09 Sorry Pa I was out in the cornfield and the stalks were... How about one more title sweetness - Kingpin 00:15 How about one more title sweetness Hey Herb how's life - Kingpin 00:14 Hey Herb how's life Don't you think - Kingpin 00:06 Don't you think Have you been drinking again - Kingpin 00:14 Have you been drinking again You two know each other - Kingpin 00:13 You two know each other So Roy let me ask you - Kingpin 00:44 So Roy let me ask you Morning I hope you don't mind - Kingpin 00:31 Morning I hope you don't mind Double or nothing I can pick up that spare - Kingpin 00:10 Double or nothing I can pick up that spare Give us a chance to win our money back - Kingpin 00:36 Give us a chance to win our money back What do you think about new beginnings - Kingpin 00:09 What do you think about new beginnings Hey Pa you got time for a game before supper - Kingpin 00:33 Hey Pa you got time for a game before supper She checked out already She left with a couple of guys - Kingpin 00:12 She checked out already She left with a couple of guys That was baloney It wasn't them you were saving It was me - Kingpin 00:07 That was baloney It wasn't them you were saving It was... This feels weird Are you sure this is legal - Kingpin 00:09 This feels weird Are you sure this is legal Sometimes when I wake up in the morning - Kingpin 00:06 Sometimes when I wake up in the morning Can you believe this - Kingpin 00:24 Can you believe this I mean the world can kick your ass - Kingpin 00:10 I mean the world can kick your ass I didn't want to be the one to tell him but with those narrow hips - Kingpin 00:08 I didn't want to be the one to tell him but with those... No way There's no way I can bet - Kingpin 00:24 No way There's no way I can bet Come on boy Bowl - Kingpin 00:21 Come on boy Bowl Ishmael likes me - Kingpin 00:10 Ishmael likes me Ishmael always was a strange boy but he means well and we love him - Kingpin 00:06 Ishmael always was a strange boy but he means well and we... Take that you freaky piece of shit - Kingpin 00:08 Take that you freaky piece of shit You see bowling for money it's my only vice - Kingpin 00:17 You see bowling for money it's my only vice Jonathan run a fly pattern all the way to the goal line - Kingpin 00:17 Jonathan run a fly pattern all the way to the goal line Bye Brother Munson Bye whore - Kingpin 00:06 Bye Brother Munson Bye whore I don't drink coffee - Kingpin 00:21 I don't drink coffee She said handsome not handless - Kingpin 00:05 She said handsome not handless Just be quiet Okay - Kingpin 00:18 Just be quiet Okay Just because you spend most of your time in the missionary position - Kingpin 00:36 Just because you spend most of your time in the missionary... You're on a gravy train with biscuit wheels - Kingpin 00:05 You're on a gravy train with biscuit wheels So Roy let me ask you - Kingpin 00:36 So Roy let me ask you Ten frames - Kingpin 00:06 Ten frames What about a gross of fluorescent condoms - Kingpin 00:22 What about a gross of fluorescent condoms I'll say Probably a year for every topping on the table - Kingpin 00:35 I'll say Probably a year for every topping on the table I don't know who the heck you think you are - Kingpin 00:11 I don't know who the heck you think you are Look your act is about as fresh as a Foghat concert - Kingpin 00:06 Look your act is about as fresh as a Foghat concert I know what you're thinking all right So just let me explain here - Kingpin 00:14 I know what you're thinking all right So just let me... Half the dresses you got you need two hairdos to wear - Kingpin 00:05 Half the dresses you got you need two hairdos to wear Tanqueray and Tab - Kingpin 00:12 Tanqueray and Tab Must be tough when you're spanking your monkey - Kingpin 00:07 Must be tough when you're spanking your monkey Mr Munson you all right - Kingpin 00:35 Mr Munson you all right So you two are dictionary salesmen - Kingpin 00:09 So you two are dictionary salesmen Roy can you get sick drinking piss - Kingpin 00:13 Roy can you get sick drinking piss Yeah sure Thomas can raise a barn but can he pick up a 7 10 split - Kingpin 00:23 Yeah sure Thomas can raise a barn but can he pick up a 7 10... How many children do you have Brother Hezakiah - Kingpin 00:18 How many children do you have Brother Hezakiah It all comes down to this roll - Kingpin 00:34 It all comes down to this roll Come on Mr Munson Wait wait wait - Kingpin 00:34 Come on Mr Munson Wait wait wait Hey everybody there's a shit cloud coming - Kingpin 00:06 Hey everybody there's a shit cloud coming Hey Captain Hook wait up - Kingpin 00:05 Hey Captain Hook wait up You really should try to quit Mr Munson - Kingpin 00:20 You really should try to quit Mr Munson Okay you want to bowl for some big money hey - Kingpin 00:20 Okay you want to bowl for some big money hey What is it about good sex that makes me have to crap - Kingpin 00:18 What is it about good sex that makes me have to crap It's a small world when you've got unbelievable tits Roy - Kingpin 00:18 It's a small world when you've got unbelievable... I hope you don't mind - Kingpin 00:48 I hope you don't mind You been drinking - Kingpin 00:20 You been drinking

Cast

Roy Munson - Woody Harrelson
Ishmael - Randy Quaid
Claudia - Vanessa Angel
Ernie McCracken - Bill Murray
The Gambler - Chris Elliott