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"Knocked Up" quotes

Knocked Up poster
For fun-loving party animal Ben Stone, the last thing he ever expected was for his one-night stand to show up on his doorstep eight weeks later to tell him she's pregnant with his child.

Director: Judd Apatow
Writer: Judd Apatow
Production: N/A
Genre: comedy, romance
Year: 2007
MetaScore: 85/100
ImdbRating: 6.9
BoxOffice: $148,768,917
Released: 01 Jun 2007
Awards: 8 wins & 26 nominations

131 video clips

Ben StoneAlison ScottBen's DadJillJonahMartinDebbieJackPeteFantasy Baseball Guy #1JasonAlison's MomJayCharlotteDr. PellagrinoSadieFemale DoctorBrentJodiYoung DoctorSolRyan SeacrestDr. Kuni
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And then your Mommy said - Knocked Up 00:47 And then your Mommy said This isn't funny - Knocked Up 00:40 This isn't funny He's playing fetch - Knocked Up 00:22 He's playing fetch I'm not gonna go to the end of the fucking line - Knocked Up 00:33 I'm not gonna go to the end of the fucking line Marriage is like an unfunny tense version of Everybody Loves Raymond - Knocked Up 00:12 Marriage is like an unfunny tense version of Everybody Loves... Just don't ask me to lend you any money you know - Knocked Up 00:07 Just don't ask me to lend you any money you know Never do what they did - Knocked Up 00:09 Never do what they did Well you do look a lot like your sister - Knocked Up 00:05 Well you do look a lot like your sister There's gonna be some things that you're gonna be able to get - Knocked Up 00:36 There's gonna be some things that you're gonna be... Man my balls are shaved My pubes are trimmed - Knocked Up 00:19 Man my balls are shaved My pubes are trimmed Where do babies come from - Knocked Up 00:25 Where do babies come from Hey Doc Howard Ben Stone calling - Knocked Up 00:32 Hey Doc Howard Ben Stone calling You just think because you don't yell that you're not mean but this is mean - Knocked Up 00:07 You just think because you don't yell that you're... We got pink eye - Knocked Up 00:35 We got pink eye Right If it grows in the ground it's probably okay - Knocked Up 00:04 Right If it grows in the ground it's probably okay I got to go Sadie might have the chicken pox - Knocked Up 00:13 I got to go Sadie might have the chicken pox Your face looks like Robin Williams' knuckles - Knocked Up 00:05 Your face looks like Robin Williams' knuckles That is not your vagina That's your asshole - Knocked Up 00:06 That is not your vagina That's your asshole Dude I think he's doing the dice thing too much - Knocked Up 00:08 Dude I think he's doing the dice thing too much Marriage is like that show Everybody Loves Raymond - Knocked Up 00:14 Marriage is like that show Everybody Loves Raymond I hope your apartment is big enough for the three of us - Knocked Up 00:18 I hope your apartment is big enough for the three of us I love your curly hair It's so great - Knocked Up 00:09 I love your curly hair It's so great You know the best thing for a hangover is weed - Knocked Up 00:24 You know the best thing for a hangover is weed I'm sorry I told you to fuck your bong It's okay I didn't - Knocked Up 00:06 I'm sorry I told you to fuck your bong It's okay I... All right I'm gonna go make a protein shake - Knocked Up 00:05 All right I'm gonna go make a protein shake You're gonna be embarrassed when you realise I'm Wilmer Valderrama - Knocked Up 00:06 You're gonna be embarrassed when you realise I'm... Hey I live in your phone - Knocked Up 00:05 Hey I live in your phone Thanks for the free money bitch - Knocked Up 00:03 Thanks for the free money bitch All right I'm gonna be there to rear your child - Knocked Up 00:09 All right I'm gonna be there to rear your child Fuck them It's a girl Buy some pink shit - Knocked Up 00:05 Fuck them It's a girl Buy some pink shit You look like Jabba the Hutt dying - Knocked Up 00:04 You look like Jabba the Hutt dying You must be angry at the baby whenever it steals your food huh - Knocked Up 00:11 You must be angry at the baby whenever it steals your food... Hey you wanna trade boyfriends - Knocked Up 00:07 Hey you wanna trade boyfriends You're embarrassing me in company - Knocked Up 00:05 You're embarrassing me in company This is Hollywood We don't like liars - Knocked Up 00:05 This is Hollywood We don't like liars You look like Babe Ruth's gay brother Gabe Ruth - Knocked Up 00:06 You look like Babe Ruth's gay brother Gabe Ruth You screwed me Dad okay - Knocked Up 00:13 You screwed me Dad okay You ever get so bored you just stare at your balls - Knocked Up 00:08 You ever get so bored you just stare at your balls Fuck me in the beard - Knocked Up 00:03 Fuck me in the beard I'm actually doing my first on air interview today so - Knocked Up 00:09 I'm actually doing my first on air interview today so Why Because your face looks like a vagina - Knocked Up 00:05 Why Because your face looks like a vagina She's such a pissy little high school cunt - Knocked Up 00:06 She's such a pissy little high school cunt I wish I liked anything as much as my kids like bubbles - Knocked Up 00:13 I wish I liked anything as much as my kids like bubbles How long you kids been married - Knocked Up 00:11 How long you kids been married She like the way your dick tastes - Knocked Up 00:04 She like the way your dick tastes You guys aren't allowed to make fun of me It's not part of the rules - Knocked Up 00:12 You guys aren't allowed to make fun of me It's not... Think they'll take us back Yes - Knocked Up 00:28 Think they'll take us back Yes So we did some research - Knocked Up 00:17 So we did some research Fuck off - Knocked Up 00:06 Fuck off If this is one of those fucking joke shows I'm not into it - Knocked Up 00:05 If this is one of those fucking joke shows I'm not into... Our baby's gonna be French Canadian With a little hint of Spanish - Knocked Up 00:08 Our baby's gonna be French Canadian With a little hint... Hey what's up Daddy What are you doing - Knocked Up 00:09 Hey what's up Daddy What are you doing Is she camera ready - Knocked Up 00:03 Is she camera ready Yeah that was brutal - Knocked Up 00:04 Yeah that was brutal Well maybe it's 'cause Steely Dan gargles my balls - Knocked Up 00:05 Well maybe it's 'cause Steely Dan gargles my balls I should've read the baby books - Knocked Up 00:34 I should've read the baby books Do you want to do it doggie style - Knocked Up 00:22 Do you want to do it doggie style Life doesn't care about your vision - Knocked Up 00:17 Life doesn't care about your vision You're the best thing that ever happened to me - Knocked Up 00:13 You're the best thing that ever happened to me We just want you to be healthy - Knocked Up 00:22 We just want you to be healthy Was your vagina drunk - Knocked Up 00:05 Was your vagina drunk It still clicks - Knocked Up 00:07 It still clicks I was so surprised too - Knocked Up 00:14 I was so surprised too I have a really good idea - Knocked Up 00:16 I have a really good idea Well you do look a lot like your sister - Knocked Up 00:06 Well you do look a lot like your sister Don't let the door hit you in the vagina on the way out - Knocked Up 00:05 Don't let the door hit you in the vagina on the way out Fuck Fuck My hands - Knocked Up 00:10 Fuck Fuck My hands It was really awkward - Knocked Up 00:21 It was really awkward You're pregnant they're pregnant you can talk about being pregnant - Knocked Up 00:08 You're pregnant they're pregnant you can talk... What the fuck is she doing at the club - Knocked Up 00:11 What the fuck is she doing at the club I'm glad I'm not a Jew - Knocked Up 00:12 I'm glad I'm not a Jew Yes I do and I won't say it for little Baby Ears over there - Knocked Up 00:10 Yes I do and I won't say it for little Baby Ears over... But this isn't up to you - Knocked Up 00:39 But this isn't up to you Do you ever wonder how somebody could even like you - Knocked Up 00:33 Do you ever wonder how somebody could even like you You know what Go fuck your fucking bong you fuck - Knocked Up 00:08 You know what Go fuck your fucking bong you fuck Are you the lady who doesn't realise she's pregnant - Knocked Up 00:11 Are you the lady who doesn't realise she's... I'm pregnant - Knocked Up 00:07 I'm pregnant Why Because your face looks like a vagina - Knocked Up 00:38 Why Because your face looks like a vagina Where we're going we don't need roads - Knocked Up 00:06 Where we're going we don't need roads What'd you do last Wednesday night when you said you went to see a band - Knocked Up 01:18 What'd you do last Wednesday night when you said you... Just stop talking - Knocked Up 00:06 Just stop talking Tastes like a rainbow - Knocked Up 00:05 Tastes like a rainbow Now that's how you get pink eye - Knocked Up 00:07 Now that's how you get pink eye I didn't go to Yale to work 24 hours a day - Knocked Up 00:16 I didn't go to Yale to work 24 hours a day That guy said Don't let the door hit you in the vagina on the way out - Knocked Up 00:11 That guy said Don't let the door hit you in the vagina... You're an asshole - Knocked Up 00:13 You're an asshole Oh like Mr Skin Who's Mr Skin - Knocked Up 00:09 Oh like Mr Skin Who's Mr Skin You know they say don't drink and drive Uh huh - Knocked Up 00:11 You know they say don't drink and drive Uh huh He spelled coming wrong - Knocked Up 00:09 He spelled coming wrong
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Cast

Ben Stone - Seth Rogen
Alison Scott - Katherine Heigl
Pete - Paul Rudd
Debbie - Leslie Mann
Jason - Jason Segel
All Cast