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Everybody be looking at me like
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Langston Kerman: Bad Poetry

Everybody be looking at me like, "Damn, he really loves the train." But I don't. I'm not a...

Everybody be looking at me like, "Damn, he really loves the train." But I don't. I'm not a train guy. I'm not

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:02.251
Everybody be looking at me like,
00:00:02.335 --> 00:00:04.337
"Damn, he really loves the train."
00:00:05.963 --> 00:00:08.999
But I don't. I'm not a train guy. I'm not.
Duration
9 seconds
Views
33
Timestamp in Movie
00:16:40
Uploaded
Apr 02, 2025
Genres
documentary, comedy
Production
N/A

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Movie Summary

Comedian Langston Kerman talks parenting a top-tier baby, teaching mean teens and managing his mother-in-law's dating apps in this hilarious special.
And I used to think it was just a me thing, you know? - Langston Kerman: Bad Poetry 00:05
And I used to think it was just a me thing, you know?
I used to think I was the only person hard in my local Chipotle. - Langston Kerman: Bad Poetry 00:05
I used to think I was the only person hard in my local Chipo...
But after years of careful research, - Langston Kerman: Bad Poetry 00:06
But after years of careful research,
In fact, every dude in here has the exact same problem. - Langston Kerman: Bad Poetry 00:05
In fact, every dude in here has the exact same problem.
Ladies, whether he's ready to admit it or not, - Langston Kerman: Bad Poetry 00:13
Ladies, whether he's ready to admit it or not,
Just avoiding pie charts, - Langston Kerman: Bad Poetry 00:06
Just avoiding pie charts,
Like, "Oh God, are we at 98%?" - Langston Kerman: Bad Poetry 00:18
Like, "Oh God, are we at 98%?"
That's why I don't listen to anything men have to say - Langston Kerman: Bad Poetry 00:08
That's why I don't listen to anything men have to ...
We be hard, and if you got a hard dick, - Langston Kerman: Bad Poetry 00:06
We be hard, and if you got a hard dick,
You can't be erect and correct at the same time. - Langston Kerman: Bad Poetry 00:05
You can't be erect and correct at the same time.
Like, "Damn, Putin got them big bombs, don't he? Shit!" - Langston Kerman: Bad Poetry 00:17
Like, "Damn, Putin got them big bombs, don't he? S...
To bring a person to their greatest potential, that's scary. - Langston Kerman: Bad Poetry 00:05
To bring a person to their greatest potential, that's s...
Fear, honestly, that existed throughout my wife's entire pregnancy. - Langston Kerman: Bad Poetry 00:06
Fear, honestly, that existed throughout my wife's entir...
The entire time, I was terrified - Langston Kerman: Bad Poetry 00:06
The entire time, I was terrified
My wife is the exact same mix. - Langston Kerman: Bad Poetry 00:05
My wife is the exact same mix.
If I'm half-white, - Langston Kerman: Bad Poetry 00:13
If I'm half-white,
Just a little tampon-colored Tyler, - Langston Kerman: Bad Poetry 00:07
Just a little tampon-colored Tyler,
Talking 'bout, "Daddy, I'm in the mood for poached eggs." Ew! - Langston Kerman: Bad Poetry 00:05
Talking 'bout, "Daddy, I'm in the mood for po...
Don't let anybody tell you you ain't make rollerblades. - Langston Kerman: Bad Poetry 00:05
Don't let anybody tell you you ain't make rollerbl...
Okay, this is the best way. This is it. Okay. It... Here it is. - Langston Kerman: Bad Poetry 00:05
Okay, this is the best way. This is it. Okay. It... Here it ...