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The entire time, I was terrified
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Langston Kerman: Bad Poetry

The entire time, I was terrified I was gonna end up with a white baby

The entire time, I was terrified I was gonna end up with a white baby

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:02.501
The entire time, I was terrified
00:00:02.585 --> 00:00:04.587
I was gonna end up with a white baby.
Duration
6 seconds
Views
39
Timestamp in Movie
00:18:42
Uploaded
Apr 02, 2025
Genres
documentary, comedy
Production
N/A

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Movie Summary

Comedian Langston Kerman talks parenting a top-tier baby, teaching mean teens and managing his mother-in-law's dating apps in this hilarious special.
My wife is the exact same mix. - Langston Kerman: Bad Poetry 00:05
My wife is the exact same mix.
If I'm half-white, - Langston Kerman: Bad Poetry 00:13
If I'm half-white,
Just a little tampon-colored Tyler, - Langston Kerman: Bad Poetry 00:07
Just a little tampon-colored Tyler,
Talking 'bout, "Daddy, I'm in the mood for poached eggs." Ew! - Langston Kerman: Bad Poetry 00:05
Talking 'bout, "Daddy, I'm in the mood for po...
Don't let anybody tell you you ain't make rollerblades. - Langston Kerman: Bad Poetry 00:05
Don't let anybody tell you you ain't make rollerbl...
Okay, this is the best way. This is it. Okay. It... Here it is. - Langston Kerman: Bad Poetry 00:05
Okay, this is the best way. This is it. Okay. It... Here it ...
It's hard to blame the white man for all of your problems - Langston Kerman: Bad Poetry 00:08
It's hard to blame the white man for all of your proble...
I can't... I can't be that... You know what I mean? - Langston Kerman: Bad Poetry 00:05
I can't... I can't be that... You know what I mean...
Genuinely, this is my biggest fear, - Langston Kerman: Bad Poetry 00:06
Genuinely, this is my biggest fear,
If you have kids, if you're a parent, and I think we can all agree on this, - Langston Kerman: Bad Poetry 00:07
If you have kids, if you're a parent, and I think we ca...
You teach 'em to share, - Langston Kerman: Bad Poetry 00:08
You teach 'em to share,
Or even worse, - Langston Kerman: Bad Poetry 00:07
Or even worse,
Nobody ever raises their hand, but statistically, that can't be correct. - Langston Kerman: Bad Poetry 00:06
Nobody ever raises their hand, but statistically, that can&#...
The math don't check out, - Langston Kerman: Bad Poetry 00:08
The math don't check out,
And let's be clear, ladies and gentlemen, - Langston Kerman: Bad Poetry 00:06
And let's be clear, ladies and gentlemen,
Walt Disney wanted good, wholesome content. - Langston Kerman: Bad Poetry 00:06
Walt Disney wanted good, wholesome content.
He wanted dead Jews - Langston Kerman: Bad Poetry 00:07
He wanted dead Jews
And now you look over and some kid is drawing Zazu, - Langston Kerman: Bad Poetry 00:11
And now you look over and some kid is drawing Zazu,
Talking about, "Simba, I can't help you become king. My back hurts." - Langston Kerman: Bad Poetry 00:11
Talking about, "Simba, I can't help you become kin...
This is a... This is a weird transition after that titty joke, but... - Langston Kerman: Bad Poetry 00:06
This is a... This is a weird transition after that titty jok...