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Thorne Jamison:
[seeing Audrey in the crowd while fans surround him for an autograph]
See this Barry, I've got classy fans, too. And a what might you want? Audrey:
I want you. Thorne Jamison:
Oohh! Chihuaha! Nice opening line, I like it. Direct, no B.S, just how I like it. Grr. Ok, tell me what we're working with Dollface. Audrey:
Ok, this is what we're working with *Dollface*. You've got a devoted, hardworking wife at home, yet you cheat, lie, and blow all your money on strippers and whores. You finally abandon her leaving her no option but to file for divorce. That's the opposing council's opening line. Direct. No B.S. Just the way you like it. And your wife has just hired the second best divorce attorney in New York City to deliver it. Now you need someone to tell you side of the story, no matter how *sordid*, and make you seem like strawberry shortcake. Thorne Jamison:
I like strawberry shortcake, and I like your style. Do you know what I think? I think we should continue this conversation back at my place Audrey:
You know what I think? I think you should leave the thinking to me. Thorne Jamison:
Right
[seeing Audrey in the crowd while fans surround him for an autograph]
See this Barry, I've got classy fans, too. And a what might you want? Audrey:
I want you. Thorne Jamison:
Oohh! Chihuaha! Nice opening line, I like it. Direct, no B.S, just how I like it. Grr. Ok, tell me what we're working with Dollface. Audrey:
Ok, this is what we're working with *Dollface*. You've got a devoted, hardworking wife at home, yet you cheat, lie, and blow all your money on strippers and whores. You finally abandon her leaving her no option but to file for divorce. That's the opposing council's opening line. Direct. No B.S. Just the way you like it. And your wife has just hired the second best divorce attorney in New York City to deliver it. Now you need someone to tell you side of the story, no matter how *sordid*, and make you seem like strawberry shortcake. Thorne Jamison:
I like strawberry shortcake, and I like your style. Do you know what I think? I think we should continue this conversation back at my place Audrey:
You know what I think? I think you should leave the thinking to me. Thorne Jamison:
Right
Full Transcript
00:00:04.053 --> 00:00:06.000
SEE THIS, BARRY.
00:00:06.000 --> 00:00:09.999
I'VE GOT CLASSY FANS TOO.
00:00:10.067 --> 00:00:13.088
AND UH...
WHAT MIGHT YOU WANT?
00:00:13.088 --> 00:00:15.078
I WANT YOU.
00:00:15.078 --> 00:00:18.058
OOH, CHIHUAHUA!
00:00:18.058 --> 00:00:20.012
NICE OPENING LINE.
I LIKE IT.
00:00:20.012 --> 00:00:23.038
DIRECT, NO B.S.--
JUST HOW I LIKE IT.
00:00:23.038 --> 00:00:25.019
MMM.
00:00:25.019 --> 00:00:28.019
OKAY, TELL ME WHAT
WE'RE WORKING WITH,
DOLL FACE.
00:00:28.019 --> 00:00:32.029
OKAY, THIS IS WHAT
WE'RE WORKING WITH,
DOLL FACE.
00:00:32.029 --> 00:00:34.033
YOU'VE GOT A DEVOTED,
HARDWORKING WIFE AT HOME,
00:00:34.033 --> 00:00:38.002
AND YET YOU CHEAT,
LIE, AND BLOW ALL YOUR MONEY
ON STRIPPERS AND WHORES.
00:00:38.002 --> 00:00:41.034
YOU FINALLY ABANDONED HER,
LEAVING HER NO OPTION BUT
TO FILE FOR DIVORCE.
00:00:41.034 --> 00:00:43.044
THAT'S THE OPPOSING COUNSEL'S
OPENING LINE.
00:00:43.044 --> 00:00:46.998
DIRECT, NO B.S.--
JUST THE WAY YOU LIKE IT.
00:00:46.998 --> 00:00:50.055
AND YOUR WIFE HAS JUST HIRED
THE SECOND BEST DIVORCE ATTORNEY
IN NEW YORK CITY TO DELIVER IT.
00:00:50.055 --> 00:00:55.012
NOW YOU NEED SOMEONE TO TELL
YOUR SIDE OF THE STORY,
NO MATTER HOW SORDID,
00:00:55.012 --> 00:00:58.099
AND MAKE YOU SEEM LIKE
STRAWBERRY SHORTCAKE.
00:01:01.076 --> 00:01:04.056
I LIKE
STRAWBERRY SHORTCAKE,
00:01:04.056 --> 00:01:06.008
AND I LIKE YOUR STYLE.
00:01:06.008 --> 00:01:08.086
DO YOU KNOW
WHAT I THINK?
00:01:08.086 --> 00:01:11.005
I THINK WE SHOULD CONTINUE
THIS CONVERSATION...
00:01:11.005 --> 00:01:13.000
BACK AT MY PLACE.
00:01:14.077 --> 00:01:17.999
I THINK YOU SHOULD LEAVE
THE THINKING TO ME.
00:01:20.999 --> 00:01:21.081
RIGHT.
00:01:21.081 --> 00:01:24.048
PAIN? I'LL CAUSE HER
SO MUCH PAIN SHE'LL
WISH SHE NEVER...
00:01:24.048 --> 00:01:26.058
BEFORE I CAME ALONG, THE ONLY
BUSINESS DECISION HE EVER MADE
00:01:26.058 --> 00:01:28.055
WAS WHETHER TO PAY A HOOKER
WITH CASH OR CREDIT.
00:01:28.055 --> 00:01:30.072
...THE PURPOSE OF
A SETTLEMENT HEARING
IS TO AVOID...
00:01:30.072 --> 00:01:33.999
YOU SHOULD ADVISE YOUR CLIENT
THAT DOCUMENTABLE THREATS
OF VIOLENCE...
00:01:33.999 --> 00:01:35.019
- MAKES MY JOB SO MUCH EASIER.
- Serena: THREATS, MY ASS!
00:01:35.019 --> 00:01:37.039
CAN WE SKIP TO THE PART
WHERE YOU CUT HIS BALLS OFF?!
00:01:41.013 --> 00:01:44.097
IF WE COULD CONVINCE MS. WOODS
TO GO THROUGH THE MOTIONS
OF DISCUSSING ASSETS.
00:01:44.097 --> 00:01:46.001
Thorne:
ASSETS? SHE DOESN'T
HAVE ANY.
00:01:46.001 --> 00:01:49.097
I'M THE ONE WHO SPITS UP
ALL THE MONEY FOR THOSE
DISH RAGS SHE SELLS.
00:01:49.097 --> 00:01:52.047
DISH RAGS?
TELL THAT TO NICOLE KIDMAN.
00:01:52.047 --> 00:01:56.028
- SHE WORE MY DISHRAGS
TO THE OSCARS, OKAY?!
- NYAH, NYAH, NYAH...
00:01:56.028 --> 00:01:58.095
I'M SURE THAT
MR. RAFFERTY WILL AGREE
THAT WE'LL NOT GET ANYWHERE
00:01:58.095 --> 00:02:00.001
WITHOUT A DEGREE
OF CONSIDERATION
FROM ALL PARTIES.
00:02:00.001 --> 00:02:02.098
CONSIDERATION FROM HIM?
I'M HIS GODDAMN WIFE.
00:02:02.098 --> 00:02:05.999
AND HE DIDN'T EVEN HAVE
THE COURTESY TO TELL ME
THAT HE GOT
00:02:05.999 --> 00:02:09.999
A SKULL AND CROSS BONES
PIERCED THROUGH THE TIP
OF HIS--
00:02:09.999 --> 00:02:11.016
- I HAVE ENOUGH.
- I'M GOOD.
00:02:11.016 --> 00:02:12.013
MMM.
00:02:13.001 --> 00:02:16.999
LOOK, FORGET IT, OKAY?
I'M NOT INTERESTED
IN HIS MONEY.
00:02:16.999 --> 00:02:19.001
I MAKE A GOOD LIVING.
THERE'S ONLY ONE THING I WANT.
00:02:19.001 --> 00:02:22.001
- CAISLEáN AND CLOCHA.
00:02:22.001 --> 00:02:24.091
OH, YES, I REMEMBER
SEEING THAT SOMEWHERE.
WHAT IS IT?
00:02:24.091 --> 00:02:27.001
IT'S THE MOST
MAGICAL PLACE ON EARTH.
00:02:27.001 --> 00:02:30.041
- MMM.
- IT'S OUR CASTLE IN IRELAND.
00:02:30.041 --> 00:02:33.011
IT'S MY FAIRYTALE CASTLE.
00:02:34.999 --> 00:02:37.999
* IT'S SUMMER NOW,
THE KIDS ARE BACK INSIDE *
00:02:37.999 --> 00:02:40.002
- * GOTTA TICKET FOR A... *
00:02:40.002 --> 00:02:43.001
Ha-ha. And in here,
this is the-- stay.
00:02:43.001 --> 00:02:47.999
- Thorne on TV: This is where
we like to rehearse...
- STAY. HA-HA.
00:02:47.999 --> 00:02:51.993
jam with the boys in the band.
This is where I like to play
with my fruit machines.
00:02:51.993 --> 00:02:53.001
Feeling lucky.
Feeling lucky!
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Movie Summary
Amidst a sea of litigation, two New York City divorce lawyers find love.

