Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events quotes

Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events poster
Three children - Violet (Emily Browning), Klaus (Liam Aiken), and Sunny Baudelaire (Kara and Shelby Hoffman) - are left orphaned when their house burns down, with their parents in it, in mysterious circumstances. They are left in the custody of a distant relative, Count Olaf (Jim Carrey). It is soon apparent that Count Olaf only cares about the children for their large inheritance.

Director: Brad Silberling
Writer: Robert Gordon (screenplay), Daniel Handler (books)
Production: Paramount Pictures
Year: 2004
MetaScore: 62/100
ImdbRating: 6.8
BoxOffice: $118,461,298
Released: 17 Dec 2004
Awards: Won 1 Oscar. Another 9 wins & 28 nominations.


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Clips & Quotes

You are a gloomy looking bunch - screenshot from movie Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events
00:41
You are a gloomy looking bunch
It's the letter - screenshot from movie Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events
03:23
It's the letter
Pasta Puttanesca - screenshot from movie Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events
00:32
Pasta Puttanesca
And this must be Klaus - screenshot from movie Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events
00:22
And this must be Klaus
Now that we're a family - screenshot from movie Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events
00:18
Now that we're a family
No matter where you go - screenshot from movie Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events
00:31
No matter where you go
This is ridiculous - screenshot from movie Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events
00:30
This is ridiculous
Do you think anything will ever feel like home again - screenshot from movie Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events
00:43
Do you think anything will ever feel like home again
I'm sorry to say that this is not the movie you will be watching - screenshot from movie Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events
01:51
I'm sorry to say that this is not the movie you will be...
There are people who know that there's always a mystery to be solved - screenshot from movie Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events
02:13
There are people who know that there's always a mystery to...
Never heard of her - screenshot from movie Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events
00:25
Never heard of her
How's that pot coming - screenshot from movie Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events
00:22
How's that pot coming
You won't get a cent until Violet turns 18 - screenshot from movie Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events
00:16
You won't get a cent until Violet turns 18
The children will be helping us extensively with the research in Peru - screenshot from movie Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events
00:53
The children will be helping us extensively with the...
This was such a good character - screenshot from movie Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events
00:13
This was such a good character
And I realized I have been a bit standoffish - screenshot from movie Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events
00:25
And I realized I have been a bit standoffish
Why aren't you orphans in the kitchen preparing dinner - screenshot from movie Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events
00:26
Why aren't you orphans in the kitchen preparing dinner
So I'm taking you to live with your dear Count Olaf - screenshot from movie Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events
01:12
So I'm taking you to live with your dear Count Olaf
Looks like you could use a little assistance - screenshot from movie Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events
02:02
Looks like you could use a little assistance
All that I ask is that you do each and every little thing that pops into my head - screenshot from movie Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events
00:35
All that I ask is that you do each and every little thing...
Is a little piece I like to call - screenshot from movie Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events
00:25
Is a little piece I like to call
Did Ike die in a fire - screenshot from movie Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events
00:16
Did Ike die in a fire
Ever sell this house - screenshot from movie Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events
00:26
Ever sell this house
We're gonna break that beam - screenshot from movie Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events
00:30
We're gonna break that beam
The very meal I ate before they took me leg - screenshot from movie Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events
00:24
The very meal I ate before they took me leg
If you have ever lost someone very important to you - screenshot from movie Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events
00:34
If you have ever lost someone very important to you
I'm going on a perfectly innocent ride in the country with my kids - screenshot from movie Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events
00:25
I'm going on a perfectly innocent ride in the country with...
No one knows the precise cause of the Baudelaire fire - screenshot from movie Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events
01:08
No one knows the precise cause of the Baudelaire fire
How could they do this to us - screenshot from movie Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events
00:40
How could they do this to us
The black plague - screenshot from movie Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events
00:15
The black plague
There's always something - screenshot from movie Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events
00:25
There's always something
I don't know if you've ever noticed this - screenshot from movie Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events
01:11
I don't know if you've ever noticed this
The big cage door is open - screenshot from movie Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events
00:27
The big cage door is open
I'm very disappointed in you children - screenshot from movie Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events
00:15
I'm very disappointed in you children
Curdled Cave is for sale - screenshot from movie Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events
00:29
Curdled Cave is for sale
This is not home - screenshot from movie Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events
00:10
This is not home
What are you doing - screenshot from movie Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events
00:30
What are you doing
These things don't just happen - screenshot from movie Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events
00:13
These things don't just happen
I'm afraid I must inform you of an extremely unfortunate event - screenshot from movie Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events
00:41
I'm afraid I must inform you of an extremely unfortunate...
Do you remember when Mum and Dad went to Europe - screenshot from movie Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events
01:18
Do you remember when Mum and Dad went to Europe
I saved the boy from the leeches - screenshot from movie Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events
00:30
I saved the boy from the leeches
Have you ever thought of - screenshot from movie Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events
01:09
Have you ever thought of
He's just a boy barely out of his Osh Kosh B'Gosh - screenshot from movie Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events
00:17
He's just a boy barely out of his Osh Kosh B'Gosh
I'm looking for Dr - screenshot from movie Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events
00:23
I'm looking for Dr
The Captain loved the ladies - screenshot from movie Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events
00:58
The Captain loved the ladies
The Italian fiend - screenshot from movie Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events
00:11
The Italian fiend
I get the good parking spots - screenshot from movie Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events
00:26
I get the good parking spots
Or airplane where this film is being shown - screenshot from movie Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events
00:27
Or airplane where this film is being shown
I was wondering if you wouldn't mind milking Petunia for me - screenshot from movie Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events
00:53
I was wondering if you wouldn't mind milking Petunia for me
You unspeakable cad - screenshot from movie Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events
01:12
You unspeakable cad
But I don't care about them - screenshot from movie Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events
00:28
But I don't care about them
Are you sure you tied your hair tight enough - screenshot from movie Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events
00:16
Are you sure you tied your hair tight enough
We have to go to the authorities - screenshot from movie Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events
00:30
We have to go to the authorities
In a world of abandoned items and discarded materials - screenshot from movie Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events
00:41
In a world of abandoned items and discarded materials
I didn't know they had this budget - screenshot from movie Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events
00:14
I didn't know they had this budget
Look what I did to pretty little home - screenshot from movie Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events
00:18
Look what I did to pretty little home
Have I told you about our new play - screenshot from movie Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events
00:41
Have I told you about our new play
She doesn't deserve him - screenshot from movie Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events
00:12
She doesn't deserve him
What are you doing here - screenshot from movie Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events
00:17
What are you doing here
Perhaps you should reevaluate your hypothesis - screenshot from movie Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events
00:16
Perhaps you should reevaluate your hypothesis
There is two kinds of fear - screenshot from movie Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events
00:25
There is two kinds of fear
Do you have a hall pass - screenshot from movie Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events
00:15
Do you have a hall pass
Would you do it - screenshot from movie Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events
00:21
Would you do it
He tried to kill us - screenshot from movie Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events
00:24
He tried to kill us
Not that quickly - screenshot from movie Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events
00:28
Not that quickly
That's the Two Headed Cobra - screenshot from movie Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events
00:23
That's the Two Headed Cobra
What do you think - screenshot from movie Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events
00:33
What do you think
As chief officer of Mulctuary Management - screenshot from movie Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events
00:49
As chief officer of Mulctuary Management
You haven't been a trustworthy person - screenshot from movie Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events
00:30
You haven't been a trustworthy person
I've saved the boy from the leeches - screenshot from movie Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events
00:30
I've saved the boy from the leeches
I'll never say I do - screenshot from movie Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events
00:11
I'll never say I do
Does it strike you as odd that none of our relatives are related to us - screenshot from movie Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events
00:21
Does it strike you as odd that none of our relatives are...
I missed you guys - screenshot from movie Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events
02:05
I missed you guys
She's an infant - screenshot from movie Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events
01:14
She's an infant
Like an oasis in a vast desert or an island in a stormy sea - screenshot from movie Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events
01:20
Like an oasis in a vast desert or an island in a stormy sea
Let's keep our heads here - screenshot from movie Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events
02:37
Let's keep our heads here
My chief assistant - screenshot from movie Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events
00:25
My chief assistant
They used to call me Old MacDonald up at the old Milking Lab there - screenshot from movie Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events
00:38
They used to call me Old MacDonald up at the old Milking Lab...
I am your beloved Count Olaf - screenshot from movie Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events
00:13
I am your beloved Count Olaf
Where am I gonna get a train - screenshot from movie Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events
00:31
Where am I gonna get a train
Everything happens for a reason - screenshot from movie Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events
00:13
Everything happens for a reason

Cast

Count Olaf - Jim Carrey
Klaus - Liam Aiken
Sunny - Kara Hoffman
Lemony Snicket - Jude Law
Mr. Poe - Timothy Spall
Justice Strauss - Catherine O'Hara
Uncle Monty - Billy Connolly
Aunt Josephine - Meryl Streep
Bald Man - Luis Guzmán
Hook-Handed Man - Jamie Harris
Person of Indeterminate Gender - Craig Ferguson
White Faced Woman - Jennifer Coolidge
White Faced Woman - Jane Adams
Grocery Clerk (as Robert Clendenin) - Bob Clendenin
Gruff Grocer - Lenny Clarke
Judge - Fred Gallo
Gustav - John Dexter
Mrs. Poe - Deborah Theaker
Captain Sam (scenes deleted) - Wayne Flemming
Dream Gypsy - Jaimarie Bjorge
Beatrice Baudelaire - Helena Bonham Carter
Mrs. Baudelaire - Amy Brenneman
Wedding Guest - Paul Bunnell
Davidious Augustine / Bohemian - Julius Callahan
French Radio Reporter (voice) - François Duhamel
Wedding Guest - Rosemary Garris
Wedding Guest - Paul G. Gray
Mr. Baudelaire - Rick Heinrichs
Police Photographer - Alan Heitz
The Critic - Dustin Hoffman
Ferry Boat Captain - Michael Earl Lane
Realtor - Jane Lynch
Wedding Guest - Betsy McIntyre
Voice over - Nick Meaney
Wedding Audience - Christopher Metas
Bohemian #1 - Crystal Rivers
Woman in Audience - Lidia Sabljic