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Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events quotes

Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events poster
Three children - Violet (Emily Browning), Klaus (Liam Aiken), and Sunny Baudelaire (Kara and Shelby Hoffman) - are left orphaned when their house burns down, with their parents in it, in mysterious circumstances. They are left in the custody of a distant relative, Count Olaf (Jim Carrey). It is soon apparent that Count Olaf only cares about the children for their large inheritance.

Director: Brad Silberling
Writer: Robert Gordon (screenplay), Daniel Handler (books)
Production: Paramount Pictures
Year: 2004
MetaScore: 62/100
ImdbRating: 6.8
BoxOffice: $118,461,298
Released: 17 Dec 2004
Awards: Won 1 Oscar. Another 9 wins & 28 nominations.


81 Clips & Quotes

You are a gloomy looking bunch - Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events 00:41 You are a gloomy looking bunch It's the letter - Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events 03:23 It's the letter Pasta Puttanesca - Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events 00:32 Pasta Puttanesca And this must be Klaus - Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events 00:22 And this must be Klaus Now that we're a family - Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events 00:18 Now that we're a family No matter where you go - Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events 00:31 No matter where you go This is ridiculous - Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events 00:30 This is ridiculous Do you think anything will ever feel like home again - Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events 00:43 Do you think anything will ever feel like home again I'm sorry to say that this is not the movie you will be watching - Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events 01:51 I'm sorry to say that this is not the movie you will be... There are people who know that there's always a mystery to be solved - Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events 02:13 There are people who know that there's always a mystery to... Never heard of her - Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events 00:25 Never heard of her How's that pot coming - Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events 00:22 How's that pot coming You won't get a cent until Violet turns 18 - Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events 00:16 You won't get a cent until Violet turns 18 The children will be helping us extensively with the research in Peru - Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events 00:53 The children will be helping us extensively with the... This was such a good character - Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events 00:13 This was such a good character And I realized I have been a bit standoffish - Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events 00:25 And I realized I have been a bit standoffish Why aren't you orphans in the kitchen preparing dinner - Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events 00:26 Why aren't you orphans in the kitchen preparing dinner So I'm taking you to live with your dear Count Olaf - Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events 01:12 So I'm taking you to live with your dear Count Olaf Looks like you could use a little assistance - Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events 02:02 Looks like you could use a little assistance All that I ask is that you do each and every little thing that pops into my head - Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events 00:35 All that I ask is that you do each and every little thing... Is a little piece I like to call - Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events 00:25 Is a little piece I like to call Did Ike die in a fire - Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events 00:16 Did Ike die in a fire Ever sell this house - Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events 00:26 Ever sell this house We're gonna break that beam - Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events 00:30 We're gonna break that beam The very meal I ate before they took me leg - Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events 00:24 The very meal I ate before they took me leg If you have ever lost someone very important to you - Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events 00:34 If you have ever lost someone very important to you I'm going on a perfectly innocent ride in the country with my kids - Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events 00:25 I'm going on a perfectly innocent ride in the country with... No one knows the precise cause of the Baudelaire fire - Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events 01:08 No one knows the precise cause of the Baudelaire fire How could they do this to us - Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events 00:40 How could they do this to us The black plague - Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events 00:15 The black plague There's always something - Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events 00:25 There's always something I don't know if you've ever noticed this - Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events 01:11 I don't know if you've ever noticed this The big cage door is open - Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events 00:27 The big cage door is open I'm very disappointed in you children - Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events 00:15 I'm very disappointed in you children Curdled Cave is for sale - Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events 00:29 Curdled Cave is for sale This is not home - Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events 00:10 This is not home What are you doing - Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events 00:30 What are you doing These things don't just happen - Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events 00:13 These things don't just happen I'm afraid I must inform you of an extremely unfortunate event - Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events 00:41 I'm afraid I must inform you of an extremely unfortunate... Do you remember when Mum and Dad went to Europe - Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events 01:18 Do you remember when Mum and Dad went to Europe I saved the boy from the leeches - Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events 00:30 I saved the boy from the leeches Have you ever thought of - Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events 01:09 Have you ever thought of He's just a boy barely out of his Osh Kosh B'Gosh - Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events 00:17 He's just a boy barely out of his Osh Kosh B'Gosh I'm looking for Dr - Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events 00:24 I'm looking for Dr The Captain loved the ladies - Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events 00:58 The Captain loved the ladies The Italian fiend - Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events 00:11 The Italian fiend I get the good parking spots - Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events 00:26 I get the good parking spots Or airplane where this film is being shown - Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events 00:27 Or airplane where this film is being shown I was wondering if you wouldn't mind milking Petunia for me - Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events 00:53 I was wondering if you wouldn't mind milking Petunia for me You unspeakable cad - Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events 01:12 You unspeakable cad But I don't care about them - Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events 00:28 But I don't care about them Are you sure you tied your hair tight enough - Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events 00:16 Are you sure you tied your hair tight enough We have to go to the authorities - Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events 00:30 We have to go to the authorities In a world of abandoned items and discarded materials - Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events 00:41 In a world of abandoned items and discarded materials I didn't know they had this budget - Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events 00:14 I didn't know they had this budget Look what I did to pretty little home - Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events 00:18 Look what I did to pretty little home Have I told you about our new play - Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events 00:41 Have I told you about our new play She doesn't deserve him - Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events 00:12 She doesn't deserve him What are you doing here - Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events 00:17 What are you doing here Perhaps you should reevaluate your hypothesis - Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events 00:16 Perhaps you should reevaluate your hypothesis There is two kinds of fear - Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events 00:25 There is two kinds of fear Do you have a hall pass - Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events 00:15 Do you have a hall pass Would you do it - Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events 00:21 Would you do it He tried to kill us - Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events 00:24 He tried to kill us Not that quickly - Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events 00:28 Not that quickly That's the Two Headed Cobra - Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events 00:23 That's the Two Headed Cobra What do you think - Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events 00:36 What do you think As chief officer of Mulctuary Management - Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events 00:49 As chief officer of Mulctuary Management You haven't been a trustworthy person - Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events 00:30 You haven't been a trustworthy person I've saved the boy from the leeches - Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events 00:30 I've saved the boy from the leeches I'll never say I do - Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events 00:11 I'll never say I do Does it strike you as odd that none of our relatives are related to us - Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events 00:21 Does it strike you as odd that none of our relatives are... I missed you guys - Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events 02:05 I missed you guys She's an infant - Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events 01:14 She's an infant Like an oasis in a vast desert or an island in a stormy sea - Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events 01:20 Like an oasis in a vast desert or an island in a stormy sea Let's keep our heads here - Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events 02:37 Let's keep our heads here My chief assistant - Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events 00:25 My chief assistant They used to call me Old MacDonald up at the old Milking Lab there - Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events 00:38 They used to call me Old MacDonald up at the old Milking Lab... I am your beloved Count Olaf - Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events 00:13 I am your beloved Count Olaf Where am I gonna get a train - Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events 00:31 Where am I gonna get a train Everything happens for a reason - Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events 00:13 Everything happens for a reason

Cast

Count Olaf - Jim Carrey
Klaus - Liam Aiken
Sunny - Kara Hoffman
Lemony Snicket - Jude Law
Mr. Poe - Timothy Spall
Justice Strauss - Catherine O'Hara
Uncle Monty - Billy Connolly
Aunt Josephine - Meryl Streep
Bald Man - Luis Guzmán
Hook-Handed Man - Jamie Harris
Person of Indeterminate Gender - Craig Ferguson
White Faced Woman - Jennifer Coolidge
White Faced Woman - Jane Adams
Grocery Clerk (as Robert Clendenin) - Bob Clendenin
Gruff Grocer - Lenny Clarke
Judge - Fred Gallo
Gustav - John Dexter
Mrs. Poe - Deborah Theaker
Captain Sam (scenes deleted) - Wayne Flemming
Dream Gypsy - Jaimarie Bjorge
Beatrice Baudelaire - Helena Bonham Carter
Mrs. Baudelaire - Amy Brenneman
Wedding Guest - Paul Bunnell
Davidious Augustine / Bohemian - Julius Callahan
French Radio Reporter (voice) - François Duhamel
Wedding Guest - Rosemary Garris
Wedding Guest - Paul G. Gray
Mr. Baudelaire - Rick Heinrichs
Police Photographer - Alan Heitz
The Critic - Dustin Hoffman
Ferry Boat Captain - Michael Earl Lane
Realtor - Jane Lynch
Wedding Guest - Betsy McIntyre
Voice over - Nick Meaney
Wedding Audience - Christopher Metas
Bohemian #1 - Crystal Rivers
Woman in Audience - Lidia Sabljic