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My chief assistant Gustav took sick and phoned not one hour agoHe'd give anything to be here right now
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Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events

He'd do anything to be here now

Uncle Monty:
My chief assistant, Gustav, took sick and phoned not one hour ago.Count Olaf: He'd do anything to be here now

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:05.045
My chief assistant Gustav took sick and phoned not one hour ago
00:00:05.013 --> 00:00:07.172
He'd give anything to be here right now
Available in 6 languages
Duration
8 seconds
Views
1,079
Timestamp in Movie
00:38:09
Uploaded
Feb 27, 2026
Genres
adventure, comedy, family
Production
Paramount Pictures,DreamWorks Pictures,Nickelodeon Movies,Parkes/MacDonald Productions,Kumar Mobiliengesellschaft mbH & Co. Projekt Nr. 2 KG

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Movie Summary

When a massive fire kills their parents, three children are delivered to the custody of cousin and stage actor Count Olaf, who is secretly plotting to steal their parents' vast fortune.

Actors

Billy Connolly
Uncle Monty
Billy Connolly
Jim Carrey
Count Olaf
Jim Carrey
You can't be buying this - Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events 00:04
You can't be buying this
Violet no Everything happens for a reason - Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events 00:05
Violet no Everything happens for a reason
The children will be helping us with the research in PeruDo you have any experience with childrenChildren are strange and foreign to meI never really was oneI know that they are an important part of the ecosystem - Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events 00:16
The children will be helping us with the research in PeruDo...
I was wondering if you wouldn't mind milking Petunia for mePetuniaWell the milkingNow see what I was Could I justYeah sure I'll take a shot at thatNow they used to call me Old MacDonaldup at the milking lab thereI'd milk these things all day longBut the - Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events 00:25
I was wondering if you wouldn't mind milking Petunia...
Now they used to call me Old MacDonaldup at the milking lab thereI'd milk these things all day longBut the little udders they're hard to locate - Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events 00:11
Now they used to call me Old MacDonaldup at the milking lab...
Is he still watching? - Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events 00:55
Is he still watching?
And if you kids should get restless during the night, I'm right down the hall and I'm a very light sleeper. - Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events 00:15
And if you kids should get restless during the night,...
Do you have a hall passI didn't think so - Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events 00:09
Do you have a hall passI didn't think so
I didn't think so. - Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events 00:49
I didn't think so.
Little girl the big cage door is open no snake Dead guyYou know what I'm thinkingWho woke me up at 9 00 in the morning for this - Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events 00:11
Little girl the big cage door is open no snake Dead guyYou...
I wonder if it's a good idea even to change their plans at this point - Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events 00:09
I wonder if it's a good idea even to change their plans...
He tried to kill us with a trainWhere would he get a train Where am I gonna get a train - Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events 00:07
He tried to kill us with a trainWhere would he get a train...
Damn it. - Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events 00:06
Damn it.
Bum buttery bluebird is singing a tune Rest assured, children, the authorities are in hot pursuit of Mr Stephano, from his eyebrow-less forehead to his un-tattooed ankle. - Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events 00:49
Bum buttery bluebird is singing a tune Rest assured,...
The Italian fiend - Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events 00:04
The Italian fiend
Aunt JosephineNever heard of herDoes it strike you as odd that none of our relatives are related to us - Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events 00:12
Aunt JosephineNever heard of herDoes it strike you as odd...
Does it strike you as odd that none of our relatives are related to us - Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events 00:06
Does it strike you as odd that none of our relatives are...
Aunt Josephine? - Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events 00:40
Aunt Josephine?
Come in quickly Quickly childrenWhat What's the matterNot that quicklyYou could trip over the welcome matand decapitate yourselves - Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events 00:12
Come in quickly Quickly childrenWhat What's the...
I'm sorry. - Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events 00:46
I'm sorry.