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"Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels" quotes

Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels poster
Eddy persuades his three pals to pool money for a vital poker game against a powerful local mobster, Hatchet Harry. Eddy loses, after which Harry gives him a week to pay back 500,000 pounds.

Director: Guy Ritchie
Writer: Guy Ritchie
Production: N/A
Year: 1998
MetaScore: 66/100
ImdbRating: 8.2
BoxOffice: $3,753,929
Released: 28 Aug 1998
Awards: Won 1 BAFTA Award13 wins & 9 nominations total
What is going on - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 00:04 What is going on Bastard You fucking bastard - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 00:08 Bastard You fucking bastard So the traffic warden identified the neighbors' bodies - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 01:08 So the traffic warden identified the neighbors' bodies Apparently it's for security - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 00:08 Apparently it's for security It's time I say Good night nurse - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 00:05 It's time I say Good night nurse Back to you already Eddie - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 00:07 Back to you already Eddie Oh no not again - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 00:09 Oh no not again Soap stop being such a mincer - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 00:05 Soap stop being such a mincer Rory Breaker Psychotic black dwarf with an Afro - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 00:12 Rory Breaker Psychotic black dwarf with an Afro Yeah little bit of pain never hurt anybody - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 00:09 Yeah little bit of pain never hurt anybody You won't have to Just get me a sample - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 00:20 You won't have to Just get me a sample I will loan you the money - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 00:18 I will loan you the money Hello my son do you want a lolly - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 00:17 Hello my son do you want a lolly Look we grow weed We're not mercenaries - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 00:07 Look we grow weed We're not mercenaries That you boy - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 00:34 That you boy I don't believe this What the fuck has happened here - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 00:06 I don't believe this What the fuck has happened here He's the one we shot in the neck - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 00:06 He's the one we shot in the neck So they had the cash - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 00:17 So they had the cash Is that you Dean - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 00:06 Is that you Dean Where the fuck did she come from - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 00:13 Where the fuck did she come from Lenny what the fuck's been going on here - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 00:05 Lenny what the fuck's been going on here We're in shit They were his fucking guns we sold - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 00:05 We're in shit They were his fucking guns we sold How you doing Mick How do you think I'm doing - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 00:07 How you doing Mick How do you think I'm doing This is fucked - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 00:10 This is fucked Tom what have you been eating - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 00:03 Tom what have you been eating I thought you said there'd be no staff Barry - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 00:33 I thought you said there'd be no staff Barry Don't go spending that all at once boy - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 00:05 Don't go spending that all at once boy That's quite a raise - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 00:11 That's quite a raise Come on you Not now please Not now - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 00:07 Come on you Not now please Not now Poofs Nothing heavy Four public schoolboys Soft as shite - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 00:06 Poofs Nothing heavy Four public schoolboys Soft as shite How did you get your hands on these then - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 00:36 How did you get your hands on these then What do you want a medal - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 00:07 What do you want a medal Hang on a minute Nathan Something stinks - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 00:22 Hang on a minute Nathan Something stinks I don't think it's the right move - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 00:18 I don't think it's the right move We're gonna do a proper decoration job - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 00:11 We're gonna do a proper decoration job Golf The best way to spoil a good walk - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 00:21 Golf The best way to spoil a good walk I want to look fucking mean - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 00:08 I want to look fucking mean Whoa whoa Kenny - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 00:24 Whoa whoa Kenny Jesus that wasn't too bad was it - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 00:36 Jesus that wasn't too bad was it But they're lacking in criminal credibility ain't they - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 00:05 But they're lacking in criminal credibility ain't... Can we lock up and get drunk now please - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 00:05 Can we lock up and get drunk now please Your stupidity might be your one saving grace - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 00:09 Your stupidity might be your one saving grace Keep your fingers out of my soup - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 00:04 Keep your fingers out of my soup You think this is a coincidence - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 00:11 You think this is a coincidence So you in the clear - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 00:21 So you in the clear You two join me in my office - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 00:36 You two join me in my office As you know this puts us in an awkward position - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 00:09 As you know this puts us in an awkward position It's about time you gave my young friends a visit Chris - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 00:33 It's about time you gave my young friends a visit Chris Come and have a look - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 00:17 Come and have a look He then orders an Aristotle of the most ping pong tiddly in the nuclear sub - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 00:06 He then orders an Aristotle of the most ping pong tiddly in... Do you want a sandwich Bacon - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 00:03 Do you want a sandwich Bacon Where the fuck are they going Shift a piano - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 00:11 Where the fuck are they going Shift a piano Look it's all completely chicken soup - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 00:10 Look it's all completely chicken soup You all right mate - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 00:06 You all right mate I've just spent 220 quid on me hair - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 00:07 I've just spent 220 quid on me hair Is that right Mr Botanical - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 00:04 Is that right Mr Botanical So who's the guv Who are we doing this for - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 00:23 So who's the guv Who are we doing this for He's got the guns Go ahead you get them - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 00:10 He's got the guns Go ahead you get them If you don't want to be counting the fingers you haven't got - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 00:09 If you don't want to be counting the fingers you... I don't wanna know who you use - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 00:06 I don't wanna know who you use 20 grand open - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 00:28 20 grand open Now you take those guns and you throw them off a bridge - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 00:07 Now you take those guns and you throw them off a bridge Now watch out for these fellows - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 00:09 Now watch out for these fellows So we've got a bit of a problem ain't we - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 00:35 So we've got a bit of a problem ain't we I don't know But what I do know is there's no more Harry - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 00:25 I don't know But what I do know is there's no more... Lock stock the fucking lot - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 00:05 Lock stock the fucking lot What else do I get with it - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 00:06 What else do I get with it All right wrap them guns up - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 00:08 All right wrap them guns up What the fuck is that What the fuck's that - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 00:10 What the fuck is that What the fuck's that And you do have a reputation so I'll choose my words very carefully - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 00:22 And you do have a reputation so I'll choose my words... Once there was this geezer called Smithy Robinson - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 00:36 Once there was this geezer called Smithy Robinson You're not funny Tom You're fat - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 00:07 You're not funny Tom You're fat I have a strong suspicion we should've been rocket scientists - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 00:17 I have a strong suspicion we should've been rocket... The money The gear - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 00:25 The money The gear Is this some white cunt's joke that black cunts don't get - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 00:09 Is this some white cunt's joke that black cunts... I understand if this has come as a bit of a shock - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 00:22 I understand if this has come as a bit of a shock Well he can afford to do the deal at the price we're selling - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 00:17 Well he can afford to do the deal at the price we're... They fucking shot me - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 00:05 They fucking shot me Charles get the rifle out - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 00:08 Charles get the rifle out

Cast