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But they're lacking in criminal credibility ain't theyI might get laughed at
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Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels

They lack any kind of criminal credibility. I might get laughed at

Tom:
They lack any kind of criminal credibility. I might get laughed at

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:02.769
but they're lacking in criminal credibility ain't they
00:00:02.793 --> 00:00:04.211
I might get laughed at
Available in 7 languages
Duration
5 seconds
Views
542
Timestamp in Movie
00:47:39
Uploaded
Feb 19, 2026
Genres
action, comedy, crime
Production
Summit Entertainment,The Steve Tisch Company,SKA Films,PolyGram Filmed Entertainment,Handmade Films

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Movie Summary

Eddy persuades his three pals to pool money for a vital poker game against a powerful local mobster, Hatchet Harry. Eddy loses, after which Harry gives him a week to pay back 500,000 pounds.

Actors

Jason Flemyng
Tom
Jason Flemyng
I want to look fucking meanOf course you'll look meanYoufllook really scary - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 00:08
I want to look fucking meanOf course you'll look...
Big Chris I understand if this has come as a bit of a shockbut let me tell you how this can be resolved by you the good fatherGo onHe likes your barYesHe wants your barAndDo you want me to draw you a picture - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 00:22
Big Chris I understand if this has come as a bit of a...
And you do have a reputation so I'll choose my words very carefullyYou tell Harry to go fuck himselfNowI'll put that down to shock Only once - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 00:22
And you do have a reputation so I'll choose my words...
I'll put that down to shock. - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 00:22
I'll put that down to shock.
And Robert's your father's brother - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 00:04
And Robert's your father's brother
Eddie Ladiesback to more important issues if you don't mindWe have only got two real gunsApparently that's what they areSo we find a good place to hide next doorwe wait till it sounds like the right timethen we Jack in the boxlook nasty and stuff cocoon - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 00:36
Eddie Ladiesback to more important issues if you don't...
Oh and if Tom or anyone else for that matterfeels like giving them a bit of a kickingI'm sure it won't do any harmYeah little bit of pain never hurt anybodyif you know what I meanAlso I think knives are a good ideaBig fuck off shiny onesOnes that look - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 00:48
Oh and if Tom or anyone else for that matterfeels like...
Yeah little bit of pain never hurt anybodyif you know what I mean - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 00:07
Yeah little bit of pain never hurt anybodyif you know what I...
Where the fuck are they going Shift a pianoI thought this was meant to be a robberyWhere did they get those outfitsBoth Not a bad idea that - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 00:11
Where the fuck are they going Shift a pianoI thought this...
Come on, I can't wait out here all day. - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 00:08
Come on, I can't wait out here all day.
I thought you was gonna leave me out there all day. - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 00:32
I thought you was gonna leave me out there all day.
What the fuck's going on? - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 00:24
What the fuck's going on?
Charles, get the rifle out. - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 00:36
Charles, get the rifle out.
What the fuck is that What the fuck's thatIt's me bren gunDon't you think you could have brought something a little bit more practical - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 00:10
What the fuck is that What the fuck's thatIt's me...
They fucking shot meWell shoot them back - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 00:05
They fucking shot meWell shoot them back
Jesus, plank. - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 00:18
Jesus, plank.
What the fuck was that? - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 00:15
What the fuck was that?
All right, now that I've got your attention, firstly I'm gonna blow his toes off. - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 00:37
All right, now that I've got your attention, firstly...
And all your friends, there's a good lad. - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 00:17
And all your friends, there's a good lad.
John, get them tied up. - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 00:07
John, get them tied up.