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Hello my son do you want a lollyPiss off you nonce
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Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels

Piss off, you nonce!

Barry the Baptist:
Hello son, would you like a lolly?Little Chris:Piss off, you nonce!

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:03.067
Hello my son do you want a lolly
00:00:04.045 --> 00:00:05.505
Piss off you nonce
Available in 7 languages
Duration
7 seconds
Views
1,305
Timestamp in Movie
00:40:31
Uploaded
Feb 19, 2026
Genres
action, comedy, crime
Production
Summit Entertainment,The Steve Tisch Company,SKA Films,PolyGram Filmed Entertainment,Handmade Films

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Movie Summary

Eddy persuades his three pals to pool money for a vital poker game against a powerful local mobster, Hatchet Harry. Eddy loses, after which Harry gives him a week to pay back 500,000 pounds.

Actors
Barry The Baptist
Lenny McLean
Little Chris
Peter McNicholl
And they're armedWhat was that ArmedWhat do you mean armedArmed with whatBad breath colorful language feather dusterWhat do you think they're gonna be armed withGuns you tit - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 00:14
And they're armedWhat was that ArmedWhat do you mean...
A minute ago this was the safest job in the worldNow it's turning into a bad day in Bosnia - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 00:07
A minute ago this was the safest job in the worldNow...
Soap stop being such a mincer - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 00:04
Soap stop being such a mincer
And what do they say about assumption being the brother of all fuck upsIt's the mother of all fuck ups stupidWell brother mother any other suckerit don't make any differenceThey're still fucking guns and they still fire fucking bullets - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 00:17
And what do they say about assumption being the brother of...
You won't have to Just get me a sampleNo can doWhat's that A place near KatmanduMeet me halfway mate - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 00:12
You won't have to Just get me a sampleNo can...
Look it's all completely chicken soupIt's what It's kosher as ChristmasJews don't celebrate Christmas Tom - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 00:10
Look it's all completely chicken soupIt's what...
If the milk turns out to be sourI ain't the kind of pussy to drink itDo you know what I mean - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 00:11
If the milk turns out to be sourI ain't the kind of...
Rory breakerRory Yeah I know RoryHe's not to be underestimatedHe's a funny looking fucker I knowBut you've got to look past the hair and the cute cuddly thingIt's all a deceptive facadeA few nights ago Rory's Roger iron rustedHe's gone down the battle - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 01:14
Rory breakerRory Yeah I know RoryHe's not to be...
He then orders an Aristotle of the most ping pong tiddly in the nuclear sub - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 00:06
He then orders an Aristotle of the most ping pong tiddly in...
Oi! Is your hair supposedtolook like that? All right, short stuff? Never mind "short stuff." Listen, - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 00:46
Oi! Is your hair supposedtolook like that? All right, short...
If you don't want to be counting the fingers you haven't gotisuggestyou get those guns quick - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 00:09
If you don't want to be counting the fingers you...
But they're lacking in criminal credibility ain't theyI might get laughed at - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 00:05
But they're lacking in criminal credibility ain't...
I want to look fucking meanOf course you'll look meanYoufllook really scary - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 00:08
I want to look fucking meanOf course you'll look...
Big Chris I understand if this has come as a bit of a shockbut let me tell you how this can be resolved by you the good fatherGo onHe likes your barYesHe wants your barAndDo you want me to draw you a picture - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 00:22
Big Chris I understand if this has come as a bit of a...
And you do have a reputation so I'll choose my words very carefullyYou tell Harry to go fuck himselfNowI'll put that down to shock Only once - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 00:22
And you do have a reputation so I'll choose my words...
I'll put that down to shock. - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 00:22
I'll put that down to shock.
And Robert's your father's brother - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 00:04
And Robert's your father's brother
Eddie Ladiesback to more important issues if you don't mindWe have only got two real gunsApparently that's what they areSo we find a good place to hide next doorwe wait till it sounds like the right timethen we Jack in the boxlook nasty and stuff cocoon - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 00:36
Eddie Ladiesback to more important issues if you don't...
Oh and if Tom or anyone else for that matterfeels like giving them a bit of a kickingI'm sure it won't do any harmYeah little bit of pain never hurt anybodyif you know what I meanAlso I think knives are a good ideaBig fuck off shiny onesOnes that look - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 00:48
Oh and if Tom or anyone else for that matterfeels like...
Yeah little bit of pain never hurt anybodyif you know what I mean - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 00:07
Yeah little bit of pain never hurt anybodyif you know what I...