To watch in HD, get ClipCafe PRO
You're not funny Tom You're fatAnd look as though you should be but you're not
Please log in to add to collections.
Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels

You're not funny, Tom. You're fat, and look as though you should be, but you're not

Soap:
You're not funny, Tom. You're fat, and look as though you should be, but you're not

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:03.502
You're not funny Tom You're fat
00:00:03.627 --> 00:00:05.796
And look as though you should be but you're not
Available in 7 languages
Duration
7 seconds
Views
2,019
Timestamp in Movie
00:08:58
Uploaded
Feb 19, 2026
Genres
action, comedy, crime
Production
Summit Entertainment,The Steve Tisch Company,SKA Films,PolyGram Filmed Entertainment,Handmade Films

Want This Clip in HD?

Upgrade for HD/4K downloads and unlimited access. Upgrade now →

Movie Summary

Eddy persuades his three pals to pool money for a vital poker game against a powerful local mobster, Hatchet Harry. Eddy loses, after which Harry gives him a week to pay back 500,000 pounds.

Actors

Dexter Fletcher
Soap
Dexter Fletcher
Is that it? - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 00:13
Is that it?
You know, Charles, this gear is getting heavier. - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 00:22
You know, Charles, this gear is getting heavier.
Winston Charles why have we got that cageSecurityThat's rightThat's right securitySo what's the point in having it ifwe're not gonna fucking use itWell I would have used it Winston but this is WillieAnd Willie lives hereYes Charles but you didn't know it - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 01:39
Winston Charles why have we got that cageSecurityThat's...
How long's he been in there, son? - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 00:18
How long's he been in there, son?
Alan: Big Chris settles debts for Harry. - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 00:11
Alan: Big Chris settles debts for Harry.
Shh! This is one of them high-powered jobs, isn't it? - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 00:09
Shh! This is one of them high-powered jobs, isn't it?
Got some bad news for you JohnWhat the fuckYou mind your language in front of the boyJesus ChristThat includes blasphemy as well - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 00:14
Got some bad news for you JohnWhat the fuckYou mind your...
Fucking hell Johnyou always walk around with that in your pocketOiYou use language like that again son you'll wish you hadn't - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 00:09
Fucking hell Johnyou always walk around with that in your...
You never would have paid. - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 00:33
You never would have paid.
Harry: Where did he get 100 grand? - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 00:44
Harry: Where did he get 100 grand?
I don't wanna know who you useas long as they're not complete muppets - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 00:06
I don't wanna know who you useas long as they're...
Shotguns What like guns that fire shotYou must be the brains thenThat's right guns that fire shots - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 00:10
Shotguns What like guns that fire shotYou must be the brains...
So who's the guv Who are we doing this forYou're doing it for me is all you need to knowYou know because you need to knowI seeOne of those on a need to know basis things is itLike one of those James Bond filmsCareful remember who's giving you this job - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 00:23
So who's the guv Who are we doing this forYou're...
Call me when you're done Ta ta - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 00:05
Call me when you're done Ta ta
Fucking northern monkeysI hate these fucking southern fairies - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 00:10
Fucking northern monkeysI hate these fucking southern...
Alan: Ed has been playing cards since he could lift them up, and he soon discovered that he had a big advantage. - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 00:22
Alan: Ed has been playing cards since he could lift them up,...
Invitations. - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 00:30
Invitations.
Evening, frazer. - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 00:33
Evening, frazer.
You must be Eddie jd's sonYou must be HarrySorry didn't know your fatherNever mind sonYou just might meet him if you carry on like that - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 00:15
You must be Eddie jd's sonYou must be HarrySorry...
Right, we call each other Kenny, okay, Gary? - Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 00:40
Right, we call each other Kenny, okay, Gary?