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Love, Guaranteed

I don't-- - That sounds nothing like me.- It's exactly like you

I don't-- - That sounds nothing like me.
- It's exactly like you

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:02.542
I don't--
00:00:02.667 --> 00:00:04.542
- That sounds nothing like me. - It's exactly like you.
Duration
5 seconds
Views
37
Timestamp in Movie
00:36:29
Uploaded
May 29, 2025
Genres
romance, comedy
Production
N/A

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Movie Summary

A lawyer takes on a new client that wants to sue a dating website because it guarantees love.
Tashi delek. Jug rog nang. Tibetan greeting. Namaste. - Love, Guaranteed 00:05
Tashi delek. Jug rog nang. Tibetan greeting. Namaste.
I was shocked and disappointed to hear that - Love, Guaranteed 00:06
I was shocked and disappointed to hear that
Well, per the Deceptive Trade Practices Act, - Love, Guaranteed 00:16
Well, per the Deceptive Trade Practices Act,
I went on a two-month, barefoot walkabout through the high grasslands, - Love, Guaranteed 00:23
I went on a two-month, barefoot walkabout through the high g...
Except that you're not selling love, joy, and hope. - Love, Guaranteed 00:05
Except that you're not selling love, joy, and hope.
Everyone here knows that that language is legally binding. - Love, Guaranteed 00:05
Everyone here knows that that language is legally binding.
We have a case. You all know it. What are you offering? - Love, Guaranteed 00:04
We have a case. You all know it. What are you offering?
Well, we have a very generous settlement to offer. - Love, Guaranteed 00:06
Well, we have a very generous settlement to offer.
One hundred thousand dollars, with a signed non-disclosure agreement. - Love, Guaranteed 00:05
One hundred thousand dollars, with a signed non-disclosure a...
One hundred thousand dollars wouldn't even begin to cover the expenses - Love, Guaranteed 00:06
One hundred thousand dollars wouldn't even begin to cov...
We request five hundred thousand in restitution, - Love, Guaranteed 00:13
We request five hundred thousand in restitution,
We've looked into you, Ms. Whitaker, and we see that - Love, Guaranteed 00:07
We've looked into you, Ms. Whitaker, and we see that
This little do-gooder, - Love, Guaranteed 00:07
This little do-gooder,
Luckily, we are not here to talk about me. - Love, Guaranteed 00:05
Luckily, we are not here to talk about me.
- We won't offer it again. - Buddha once said, - Love, Guaranteed 00:10
- We won't offer it again. - Buddha once said,
She has character and principles, - Love, Guaranteed 00:06
She has character and principles,
Well, I have a billion dollar empire to run, - Love, Guaranteed 00:07
Well, I have a billion dollar empire to run,
We will see you in court, - Love, Guaranteed 00:07
We will see you in court,
Oh, and by the way, - Love, Guaranteed 00:05
Oh, and by the way,
Those inspirational fridge magnets, they have such tiny fine print. - Love, Guaranteed 00:05
Those inspirational fridge magnets, they have such tiny fine...