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"Machete Kills" quotes

Machete Kills poster
The U.S. government recruits Machete to battle his way through Mexico in order to take down an arms dealer who looks to launch a weapon into space.

Director: Robert Rodriguez
Writer: Kyle Ward, Robert Rodriguez, Marcel Rodriguez
Production: N/A
Year: 2013
MetaScore: 41/100
ImdbRating: 5.6
BoxOffice: $8,008,161
Released: 11 Oct 2013
Awards: 3 nominations
The people need us Machete - Machete Kills 00:04 The people need us Machete You gotta check this out - Machete Kills 00:03 You gotta check this out Machete don't tweet - Machete Kills 00:05 Machete don't tweet Machete don't smoke - Machete Kills 00:05 Machete don't smoke What happened to world peace - Machete Kills 00:12 What happened to world peace I knew I smelled bitch in the air tonight - Machete Kills 00:26 I knew I smelled bitch in the air tonight Watch it now pussycat - Machete Kills 00:24 Watch it now pussycat Machete don't fail - Machete Kills 00:10 Machete don't fail However you know Mexico Hell you are Mexico - Machete Kills 00:09 However you know Mexico Hell you are Mexico Hola motherfucker - Machete Kills 00:04 Hola motherfucker Machete don't joke - Machete Kills 00:04 Machete don't joke I'm not interested - Machete Kills 00:18 I'm not interested I thought Machete don't text - Machete Kills 00:09 I thought Machete don't text Try not to be distracted by the cleavage and the hairspray - Machete Kills 00:10 Try not to be distracted by the cleavage and the hairspray Good luck on that pageant - Machete Kills 00:08 Good luck on that pageant I just gotta say that you are one genuine article - Machete Kills 00:09 I just gotta say that you are one genuine article You're crazy - Machete Kills 00:11 You're crazy Well I'll be goddamned - Machete Kills 00:19 Well I'll be goddamned Special Agent Mendez - Machete Kills 00:08 Special Agent Mendez Really - Machete Kills 00:15 Really So now what happens - Machete Kills 00:08 So now what happens My molecule blaster doesn't quite work right yet - Machete Kills 00:11 My molecule blaster doesn't quite work right yet This is Machete - Machete Kills 00:09 This is Machete It takes a bitch to make a bitch and I smell fish taco - Machete Kills 00:09 It takes a bitch to make a bitch and I smell fish taco Easy hombre - Machete Kills 00:07 Easy hombre Reach for the sky before I put that illegal face in a tussle - Machete Kills 00:40 Reach for the sky before I put that illegal face in a tussle And vengeance never dies - Machete Kills 00:14 And vengeance never dies Pucker up lover boy - Machete Kills 00:06 Pucker up lover boy Ladies give them hell - Machete Kills 00:11 Ladies give them hell Good luck Machete Get the bastard - Machete Kills 00:06 Good luck Machete Get the bastard Machete what's this I hear about you having Mendez in custody - Machete Kills 00:48 Machete what's this I hear about you having Mendez in... Machete This man is a dirty cop - Machete Kills 00:17 Machete This man is a dirty cop Mendez wasn't my only boogeyman - Machete Kills 00:28 Mendez wasn't my only boogeyman Look at you - Machete Kills 00:08 Look at you For crying out loud - Machete Kills 00:10 For crying out loud Get that bastard - Machete Kills 00:09 Get that bastard Lady Please Help me - Machete Kills 00:32 Lady Please Help me It's all galactic and shit - Machete Kills 01:04 It's all galactic and shit Your sense of direction doesn't inspire confidence se or - Machete Kills 00:11 Your sense of direction doesn't inspire confidence se... And why help the US - Machete Kills 00:09 And why help the US I can't see but I could still kick your ass - Machete Kills 00:07 I can't see but I could still kick your ass I'm President Rathcock and I approve this message - Machete Kills 00:06 I'm President Rathcock and I approve this message Immigration - Machete Kills 00:17 Immigration The M4 carbine long range - Machete Kills 00:16 The M4 carbine long range I got news for you cabr n - Machete Kills 00:15 I got news for you cabr n You wouldn't happen to have a Popsicle - Machete Kills 00:06 You wouldn't happen to have a Popsicle One minute they're tearing ass for the border - Machete Kills 00:14 One minute they're tearing ass for the border Where the fuck are they - Machete Kills 00:03 Where the fuck are they

Cast

Machete - Danny Trejo
Miss San Antonio - Amber Heard