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Mae Martin: SAP

The non-binary comedian Mae Martin speaks of a world that has gone off the rails. Among other things, Mae Martin mentions a mythical encounter with a moose and the gender spectrum in the story "Beauty and the Beast".

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Abbi Jacobson

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But if you can believe that I… - Mae Martin: SAP

But if you can believe that I…

Like, at this point,
we both have big exes in our past. - Mae Martin: SAP

Like, at this point, we both have big exes in our past.

You know what I mean? We're never
going to be that big ex for each other. - Mae Martin: SAP

You know what I mean? We're never going to be that big ...

Like, we're never
gonna properly traumatize each other, - Mae Martin: SAP

Like, we're never gonna properly traumatize each other,

He just goes, "If we had kids one day,
what would we name our kids?" - Mae Martin: SAP

He just goes, "If we had kids one day, what would we na...

I was like… [sighs] - Mae Martin: SAP

I was like… [sighs]

[in child's voice]
"Come and play with me." - Mae Martin: SAP

[in child's voice] "Come and play with me."

In 2018, there were no new Ian's born.
There were no… - Mae Martin: SAP

In 2018, there were no new Ian's born. There were no…

In 2018, not a single new Ian registered
on this planet Earth. That is true. - Mae Martin: SAP

In 2018, not a single new Ian registered on this planet Eart...

And if you're watching this, - Mae Martin: SAP

And if you're watching this,

Wait, so do you guys know
what I mean when I say big ex? - Mae Martin: SAP

Wait, so do you guys know what I mean when I say big ex?

-Like, you have your exes.
-[scattered cheering] - Mae Martin: SAP

-Like, you have your exes. -[scattered cheering]

You're like, "Yes, we know." - Mae Martin: SAP

You're like, "Yes, we know."

Where you reach a certain page
in the novel of your life… No. - Mae Martin: SAP

Where you reach a certain page in the novel of your life… No...

Uh, I do feel you reach a certain age
and you just have to accept - Mae Martin: SAP

Uh, I do feel you reach a certain age and you just have to a...

And just fall out of your vagina. - Mae Martin: SAP

And just fall out of your vagina.

Or your bum hole, if you don't… - Mae Martin: SAP

Or your bum hole, if you don't…

Um… - Mae Martin: SAP

So basically, this ex,
it was a really intense relationship, - Mae Martin: SAP

So basically, this ex, it was a really intense relationship,

And it was a secret relationship - Mae Martin: SAP

And it was a secret relationship

It was so stressful.
And she broke up with me, - Mae Martin: SAP

It was so stressful. And she broke up with me,

[chuckles] Um… - Mae Martin: SAP

[chuckles] Um…

Anyway, so at the point
where this story takes place, - Mae Martin: SAP

Anyway, so at the point where this story takes place,

I was in London and I was doing a show,
and I was feeling good that night. - Mae Martin: SAP

I was in London and I was doing a show, and I was feeling go...

I was wearing a crisp black T-shirt and… - Mae Martin: SAP

I was wearing a crisp black T-shirt and…

[laughing] - Mae Martin: SAP

[crowd cheering] - Mae Martin: SAP

[crowd cheering]

When you're a kid,
Rumpelstiltskin this, Rumpelstiltskin… - Mae Martin: SAP

When you're a kid, Rumpelstiltskin this, Rumpelstiltski...

He's, like, faded into obscurity. - Mae Martin: SAP

He's, like, faded into obscurity.

Anyway, so I'm feeling good
on this particular night, feeling crisp. - Mae Martin: SAP

Anyway, so I'm feeling good on this particular night, f...

Feeling shorn, and, uh… - Mae Martin: SAP

Feeling shorn, and, uh…

And I go to the green room afterwards.
Out the green room door to meet Joe. - Mae Martin: SAP

And I go to the green room afterwards. Out the green room do...

And I'm… It was a good show.
I'm like, "Hey, man. Fun show." - Mae Martin: SAP

And I'm… It was a good show. I'm like, "Hey, ...

Just all the color has left his face,
and he just goes, - Mae Martin: SAP

Just all the color has left his face, and he just goes,

And then I thought, "No." - Mae Martin: SAP

And then I thought, "No."

So, I'm like, "No, we'll go upstairs." - Mae Martin: SAP

So, I'm like, "No, we'll go upstairs."

I see, there she is
with our mutual friends and, um… - Mae Martin: SAP

I see, there she is with our mutual friends and, um…

I walk over… - Mae Martin: SAP

I think this is gonna work in my favor.
So I walk over, go, "Hey." - Mae Martin: SAP

I think this is gonna work in my favor. So I walk over, go, ...

I go, "Hey, how's it going?" - Mae Martin: SAP

I go, "Hey, how's it going?"

It's really nice.
I go, "Great to see you." - Mae Martin: SAP

It's really nice. I go, "Great to see you."

I need to retain control of the situation.
Like, I need to… - Mae Martin: SAP

I need to retain control of the situation. Like, I need to…...

I'm walking to the bar
and she's still kinda casting glances - Mae Martin: SAP

I'm walking to the bar and she's still kinda casti...

And, as I'm walking to the bar,
I suddenly realize, - Mae Martin: SAP

And, as I'm walking to the bar, I suddenly realize,

Thank God, at the last second,
I see three girls who were in my show. - Mae Martin: SAP

Thank God, at the last second, I see three girls who were in...

So I'm approaching the bar, - Mae Martin: SAP

So I'm approaching the bar,

What she got was so intense. - Mae Martin: SAP

What she got was so intense.

I was like, "Hi, how are you?
What are all of your names and jobs?" - Mae Martin: SAP

I was like, "Hi, how are you? What are all of your name...

Like my arm around all their shoulders,
like my head on their shoulder. I'm like… - Mae Martin: SAP

Like my arm around all their shoulders, like my head on thei...

Then, thank God, we start chatting,
it's going well, we're getting along. - Mae Martin: SAP

Then, thank God, we start chatting, it's going well, we...

So I'm like, "Crisis averted." - Mae Martin: SAP

So I'm like, "Crisis averted."

This time she has the element of surprise,
because I wasn't expecting it. - Mae Martin: SAP

This time she has the element of surprise, because I wasn�...

She goes, "Hey, sorry to interrupt,
I want to say bye, I'm leaving now." - Mae Martin: SAP

She goes, "Hey, sorry to interrupt, I want to say bye, ...

And she said something awful, like… - Mae Martin: SAP

And she said something awful, like…

Something like that,
where all my organs dissolve. - Mae Martin: SAP

Something like that, where all my organs dissolve.

Um… [laughs] - Mae Martin: SAP

She's still kind of
saying goodbye to some people here, - Mae Martin: SAP

She's still kind of saying goodbye to some people here,

And the floodgates just open - Mae Martin: SAP

And the floodgates just open

So… No, my face
like crumbles, my shoulders… - Mae Martin: SAP

So… No, my face like crumbles, my shoulders…

I'm literally like, "Fucking laugh. Ah!" - Mae Martin: SAP

I'm literally like, "Fucking laugh. Ah!"

To illustrate the level of emotion
I'm operating on. I mean… - Mae Martin: SAP

To illustrate the level of emotion I'm operating on. I ...

[crowd whooping, clapping] - Mae Martin: SAP

[crowd whooping, clapping]

I always visualize, um… - Mae Martin: SAP

I always visualize, um…

Right to the top of my skull,
just trying to keep it contained. - Mae Martin: SAP

Right to the top of my skull, just trying to keep it contain...

Just trying to keep it
from sloshing out of my orifices - Mae Martin: SAP

Just trying to keep it from sloshing out of my orifices

All it takes is
one person goes, "How are you?" - Mae Martin: SAP

All it takes is one person goes, "How are you?"

They're like, "Oh God."
I'm like, "I'm sorry." [sobbing] - Mae Martin: SAP

They're like, "Oh God." I'm like, "...

-Yeah, yeah, yeah.
-[crowd cheering] - Mae Martin: SAP

-Yeah, yeah, yeah. -[crowd cheering]

I feel like my friends were
starting to be like, - Mae Martin: SAP

I feel like my friends were starting to be like,

And he said something interesting
where he said, - Mae Martin: SAP

And he said something interesting where he said,

"I'm experiencing - Mae Martin: SAP

"I'm experiencing

"How curious." - Mae Martin: SAP

I was just in my apartment,
in the rain, in London for… years. - Mae Martin: SAP

I was just in my apartment, in the rain, in London for… year...

[laughs] - Mae Martin: SAP

And I was spending a lot of time,
obviously, in my apartment. - Mae Martin: SAP

And I was spending a lot of time, obviously, in my apartment...

In my living room,
and in my bedroom, specifically. - Mae Martin: SAP

In my living room, and in my bedroom, specifically.

And I was like,
"Wait, okay, maybe it's this." - Mae Martin: SAP

And I was like, "Wait, okay, maybe it's this."...

Don't you think it's kind of embarrassing
that we're adults - Mae Martin: SAP

Don't you think it's kind of embarrassing that we&...

That we're like, "This is my room. Hm." - Mae Martin: SAP

That we're like, "This is my room. Hm."

You need four walls within which
to lay your weary head each night. - Mae Martin: SAP

You need four walls within which to lay your weary head each...

But I think what I find
so embarrassing about it - Mae Martin: SAP

But I think what I find so embarrassing about it

"I'm myself in my room." - Mae Martin: SAP

"I'm myself in my room."

"I have one Himalayan salt lamp." - Mae Martin: SAP

"I have one Himalayan salt lamp."

You're like,
"I put it on the shelf in my…" - Mae Martin: SAP

You're like, "I put it on the shelf in my…"

We're little experience hunters,
collecting these - Mae Martin: SAP

We're little experience hunters, collecting these

We're just going around, being like, - Mae Martin: SAP

We're just going around, being like,

And being like, "I…" - Mae Martin: SAP

And being like, "I…"

And, like, someone will be
showing you their snow globe, you know, - Mae Martin: SAP

And, like, someone will be showing you their snow globe, you...

And you're like, "Yes,
and you are you as well." - Mae Martin: SAP

And you're like, "Yes, and you are you as well.&qu...

A hundred percent, the whole time…
You're like, "Mmm, yes. Well, no. Yes." - Mae Martin: SAP

A hundred percent, the whole time… You're like, "M...

Mae Martin: SAP poster

★ ★ ★ ★ ★

The non-binary comedian Mae Martin speaks of a world that has gone off the rails. Among other things, Mae Martin mentions a mythical encounter with a moose and the gender spectrum in the story "Beauty and the Beast".

User Rating: 0.0 (0 ratings)

Director: Abbi Jacobson

Writer: N/A

Production: N/A

Genre: comedy

Year: 2023

MetaScore: N/A/100

ImdbRating: 6.1

BoxOffice: N/A

Released: 28 Mar 2023

Awards: N/A

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