Mallrats quotes

Mallrats poster
Both dumped by their girlfriends, two best friends seek refuge in the local mall.

Director: Kevin Smith
Writer: Kevin Smith
Production: MCA Universal Home Video
Genre: comedy, romance
Year: 1995
MetaScore: 41/100
ImdbRating: 7.1
BoxOffice: N/A
Released: 20 Oct 1995
Awards: N/A

103 Clips & Quotes

I think you ought to get him some help - Mallrats 00:26 I think you ought to get him some help You're giving up - Mallrats 00:52 You're giving up Would you ever make whoopie in public - Mallrats 02:34 Would you ever make whoopie in public You wanna say something - Mallrats 00:33 You wanna say something But they're engaged - Mallrats 04:11 But they're engaged I took you shopping all the time - Mallrats 01:43 I took you shopping all the time Halfway to Buy Me Toys by now - Mallrats 00:22 Halfway to Buy Me Toys by now Suitor number 3 - Mallrats 02:59 Suitor number 3 It's a Sailboat - Mallrats 00:39 It's a Sailboat If we were making whoopee - Mallrats 00:18 If we were making whoopee Kneel before Zod - Mallrats 00:18 Kneel before Zod Who's your favourite New Kid - Mallrats 00:43 Who's your favourite New Kid Not a year goes by - Mallrats 00:55 Not a year goes by We're gonna bust up that stage like a high school kegger - Mallrats 00:57 We're gonna bust up that stage like a high school kegger A Jedi craves not these things - Mallrats 00:13 A Jedi craves not these things Like the back of a Volkswagen - Mallrats 01:03 Like the back of a Volkswagen How is it that you recall the most trivial events - Mallrats 00:45 How is it that you recall the most trivial events When you can get the sex for free - Mallrats 00:40 When you can get the sex for free Let me tell you something - Mallrats 00:38 Let me tell you something Would you like a chocolate covered pretzel - Mallrats 00:26 Would you like a chocolate covered pretzel On the escalator again - Mallrats 00:15 On the escalator again You said it was a good size - Mallrats 00:46 You said it was a good size For Christ's sake - Mallrats 00:49 For Christ's sake You should still kinda stick it to him - Mallrats 02:43 You should still kinda stick it to him This is for Brodie - Mallrats 00:11 This is for Brodie Say hi to Doug Paging - Mallrats 00:26 Say hi to Doug Paging Hell hath no fury like a woman's scorn for Sega - Mallrats 00:17 Hell hath no fury like a woman's scorn for Sega You fuckers think just because a guy reads comics he can't start some shit - Mallrats 00:22 You fuckers think just because a guy reads comics he can't... What you need is a fatty boom batty blunt - Mallrats 00:44 What you need is a fatty boom batty blunt Silent Bob here's an electrical genius - Mallrats 00:54 Silent Bob here's an electrical genius Snootchie Bootchies - Mallrats 00:55 Snootchie Bootchies Look at that ring - Mallrats 00:27 Look at that ring Let's try this again - Mallrats 01:08 Let's try this again What the hell happened - Mallrats 02:07 What the hell happened You know about this game show they got goin' on here - Mallrats 00:40 You know about this game show they got goin' on here The Jedi mind trick - Mallrats 00:17 The Jedi mind trick How much longer are we gonna be in this chick store - Mallrats 00:24 How much longer are we gonna be in this chick store What the hell gives with the cover boy - Mallrats 01:44 What the hell gives with the cover boy It makes the news easier to take - Mallrats 00:44 It makes the news easier to take Bye baby kitties - Mallrats 00:17 Bye baby kitties I threw her away like a parking ticket - Mallrats 00:15 I threw her away like a parking ticket When Jaws popped out of the water - Mallrats 01:10 When Jaws popped out of the water Just shut the fuck up - Mallrats 00:11 Just shut the fuck up You have my Punisher War Journal  6 - Mallrats 03:24 You have my Punisher War Journal 6 If you were a comic book character - Mallrats 01:14 If you were a comic book character You're sure you saw her get on - Mallrats 00:18 You're sure you saw her get on Maybe he's calmed down - Mallrats 00:31 Maybe he's calmed down You face forward - Mallrats 01:27 You face forward Where do you get these wonderful toys - Mallrats 00:15 Where do you get these wonderful toys I would've made a sexy chick - Mallrats 00:13 I would've made a sexy chick We had a running contest to see who had the most - Mallrats 00:36 We had a running contest to see who had the most I love the smell of commerce in the morning - Mallrats 00:16 I love the smell of commerce in the morning Suitor Number Three - Mallrats 01:52 Suitor Number Three How easily do you quit - Mallrats 00:43 How easily do you quit They call her  Trish the Dish - Mallrats 00:21 They call her Trish the Dish Why don't they ever bring back or remake good shows - Mallrats 00:35 Why don't they ever bring back or remake good shows I probably look like my old man - Mallrats 00:29 I probably look like my old man This one looks like your mom - Mallrats 00:13 This one looks like your mom First you take a run at La Fours with a sock full of quarters - Mallrats 01:11 First you take a run at La Fours with a sock full of... I was warned about you - Mallrats 01:04 I was warned about you I was going to propose to her - Mallrats 00:40 I was going to propose to her I heard that you were going to propose to Brandi Svenning at some theme park - Mallrats 00:43 I heard that you were going to propose to Brandi Svenning at... Most of the time I'm just talking out of my ass - Mallrats 00:33 Most of the time I'm just talking out of my ass What's he doing - Mallrats 00:55 What's he doing Free your minds - Mallrats 00:16 Free your minds You two up for getting stoned - Mallrats 00:18 You two up for getting stoned They look happy - Mallrats 00:10 They look happy She calls you  callow  in here - Mallrats 00:39 She calls you callow in here Why am I his side kick - Mallrats 00:50 Why am I his side kick I would look the same had I banged anyone in that elevator - Mallrats 01:10 I would look the same had I banged anyone in that elevator I call you all time - Mallrats 00:50 I call you all time Want a sip of my soda - Mallrats 00:11 Want a sip of my soda You used to like tits too - Mallrats 00:46 You used to like tits too Tell me about the elevator - Mallrats 00:16 Tell me about the elevator When the hell do I get to see the goddamn sailboat - Mallrats 00:17 When the hell do I get to see the goddamn sailboat What are you  talking about - Mallrats 00:41 What are you talking about That is one of your more admirably deplorable traits - Mallrats 00:46 That is one of your more admirably deplorable traits I get everybody's consent before we do it - Mallrats 00:25 I get everybody's consent before we do it I'm  not  glowing - Mallrats 00:15 I'm not glowing Is his dork made out of orange rock like the rest of his body - Mallrats 00:24 Is his dork made out of orange rock like the rest of his... As far as couples go - Mallrats 01:02 As far as couples go They screw people in a very uncomfortable place - Mallrats 00:35 They screw people in a very uncomfortable place You call that romance - Mallrats 00:20 You call that romance What happened to these two - Mallrats 02:36 What happened to these two To something I said - Mallrats 00:35 To something I said Did you ever fart in front of her - Mallrats 01:13 Did you ever fart in front of her Lest ye be touched - Mallrats 00:44 Lest ye be touched Fuckin' bickety bam - Mallrats 01:06 Fuckin' bickety bam You'se a mad chick magnet - Mallrats 00:12 You'se a mad chick magnet There is something out there that can help us ease our simultanious double loss - Mallrats 00:54 There is something out there that can help us ease our... Smart ass ex boyfriend - Mallrats 02:55 Smart ass ex boyfriend I got to hit the bathroom - Mallrats 00:15 I got to hit the bathroom This is the dirt mall - Mallrats 00:24 This is the dirt mall The concerned guy - Mallrats 00:20 The concerned guy That's what I was thinking - Mallrats 00:16 That's what I was thinking You know how when someone lays with their back to you - Mallrats 02:04 You know how when someone lays with their back to you Do you remember - Mallrats 00:16 Do you remember I promised her breakfast - Mallrats 00:17 I promised her breakfast Human brown eye here's a walking calamity - Mallrats 00:35 Human brown eye here's a walking calamity These should have boards in them - Mallrats 00:14 These should have boards in them But somehow she's a senior - Mallrats 00:40 But somehow she's a senior What happened to the third guy - Mallrats 01:45 What happened to the third guy Do I get a chance to field any more questions - Mallrats 00:16 Do I get a chance to field any more questions

Cast

TS Quint - Jeremy London
Brodie - Jason Lee
Shannon - Ben Affleck
Willam - Ethan Suplee
Stan Lee - Stan Lee
Svenning - Michael Rooker
Security Guard - Carol Banker
Arresting Cop #2 - Steven Blackwell
Pull Toy Kid - Kyle Boe
TV Executive #1 - David Brinkley
Fan Boy - Walter Flanagan
Guy Contestant #1 - Ethan Flower
Girl with Easter Bunny - Chelsea Frye
TV Executive #2 - Bentley Garrison - Jeff Gadbois
Guy Contestant #2 (as Ed Hapstack) - Ed Hapstak
Game Show Host - Art James
Steve Dave - Bryan Johnson
Child at Kiosk #2 - Mikey Kovar
Fan at Comic Store - David Klein
Roddy - Scott Mosier
Saleslady at Lingerie Store - Crystal Muirhead-Manik
Kid at Poster Kiosk - Tyson Nassauer
Passerby in Parking Lot - Aaron Preusse
Silent Bob - Kevin Smith
Child at Kiosk #1 - Britt Swenson
La Fours - Sven-Ole Thorsen
Teacher - Mary Woolever
Team La Fours - Brad Fox
Team La Fours - Gino Gori
Team La Fours - Zach Perkins
Team La Fours (as Brad Giddings) - Brad Gidding
Team La Fours - Bryce Mack
Team La Fours - Christopher O'Larkin
Gov. Dalton (scenes deleted) - Elizabeth Ashley
Audience Member - Earl R. Burt
Shopper - Tammara Melloy
Screaming Girl in Audience - Rachel Oliva
Shoobie Shake Girl - Jessica Sibinski
Coffee Shop Patron - Nathan Stockwell
Comic Book Fan - Joel Thingvall