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Mark Normand: Soup to Nuts

From awkward lap dances to the intimacy of letting one rip in front of a spouse, comedian Mark Normand unloads in this rapid-fire stand-up special.

Director

James Webb

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Good one. Good to have you.
Thank you. Just don't cough. - Mark Normand: Soup to Nuts

Good one. Good to have you. Thank you. Just don't cough...

Pakistan? Hey, hopefully
only one of us bombs. - Mark Normand: Soup to Nuts

Pakistan? Hey, hopefully only one of us bombs.

My buddy's a Mexican immigrant.
Been here eight years. He loves America. - Mark Normand: Soup to Nuts

My buddy's a Mexican immigrant. Been here eight years. ...

He's like, "I just got here." - Mark Normand: Soup to Nuts

He's like, "I just got here."

Immigrants tend to appreciate America
more than most Americans. - Mark Normand: Soup to Nuts

Immigrants tend to appreciate America more than most America...

And I'm like,
"Where the fuck's my Uber Eats?" - Mark Normand: Soup to Nuts

And I'm like, "Where the fuck's my Uber Eats?...

You come to America, you make it big,
you make a couple of bucks, you get rich. - Mark Normand: Soup to Nuts

You come to America, you make it big, you make a couple of b...

Feels like we hate rich people.
Isn't that weird? See that online a lot. - Mark Normand: Soup to Nuts

Feels like we hate rich people. Isn't that weird? See t...

"Fuck the rich,
kill the rich, eat the rich." - Mark Normand: Soup to Nuts

"Fuck the rich, kill the rich, eat the rich."

"Look at that old bastard.
Probably shit his pants." - Mark Normand: Soup to Nuts

"Look at that old bastard. Probably shit his pants.&quo...

We all go to 7-Eleven,
"Gimme that scratch-off." - Mark Normand: Soup to Nuts

We all go to 7-Eleven, "Gimme that scratch-off."

"Rich prick. Come on, big money." - Mark Normand: Soup to Nuts

"Rich prick. Come on, big money."

Rich guy's like, "My beach house
burned down in Malibu." - Mark Normand: Soup to Nuts

Rich guy's like, "My beach house burned down in Ma...

"Teachers are heroes."
Some are heroes, some fuck their students. - Mark Normand: Soup to Nuts

"Teachers are heroes." Some are heroes, some fuck ...

And that student is a hero. - Mark Normand: Soup to Nuts

And that student is a hero.

You can't make those jokes anymore,
and we seem more tense than ever. - Mark Normand: Soup to Nuts

You can't make those jokes anymore, and we seem more te...

They'd be like, "Mark, you can't dance."
I was like, "Well, you can't swim. Ah!" - Mark Normand: Soup to Nuts

They'd be like, "Mark, you can't...

Then some stiff white guy,
"You can't say that." - Mark Normand: Soup to Nuts

Then some stiff white guy, "You can't say that.&qu...

You walk in on me choking my wife.
"Call the police." No, she loves that. - Mark Normand: Soup to Nuts

You walk in on me choking my wife. "Call the police.&qu...

We're just so obsessed with race now,
it's always on my mind. - Mark Normand: Soup to Nuts

We're just so obsessed with race now, it's always ...

On the phone with my insurance agent.
"What color's your car?" - Mark Normand: Soup to Nuts

On the phone with my insurance agent. "What color'...

But sometimes we get
so progressive these days - Mark Normand: Soup to Nuts

But sometimes we get so progressive these days

I used to just have my friend.
Now I'm very aware he's my Black friend. - Mark Normand: Soup to Nuts

I used to just have my friend. Now I'm very aware he�...

"You're always banging your girlfriend.
You're like a sex slave." - Mark Normand: Soup to Nuts

"You're always banging your girlfriend. You'r...

"No, I'm just saying,
you know, you're whipped." - Mark Normand: Soup to Nuts

"No, I'm just saying, you know, you're whippe...

"No, I mean, you know, I just wanna hang." - Mark Normand: Soup to Nuts

"No, I mean, you know, I just wanna hang."

Just joking, Jews.
Thanks for coming out. Love the tribe. - Mark Normand: Soup to Nuts

Just joking, Jews. Thanks for coming out. Love the tribe.

My Jewish friends and my Black friends
butt heads a lot over who had it worse. - Mark Normand: Soup to Nuts

My Jewish friends and my Black friends butt heads a lot over...

My Black friend had to be like,
"We've got stuff in common." - Mark Normand: Soup to Nuts

My Black friend had to be like, "We've got stuff i...

Go to the Holocaust Museum,
there's a big pile of... You get it. - Mark Normand: Soup to Nuts

Go to the Holocaust Museum, there's a big pile of... Yo...

Big fan of the Jews. I hate to see
the anti-Semitism bubbling up these days. - Mark Normand: Soup to Nuts

Big fan of the Jews. I hate to see the anti-Semitism bubblin...

I heard one guy go,
"These Jews are acting like babies." - Mark Normand: Soup to Nuts

I heard one guy go, "These Jews are acting like babies....

Baby's uncomfortable, squirming.
I look at my friend, he's like, "My back." - Mark Normand: Soup to Nuts

Baby's uncomfortable, squirming. I look at my friend, h...

But, you know, I make jokes, - Mark Normand: Soup to Nuts

But, you know, I make jokes,

An awkward moment for a white guy - Mark Normand: Soup to Nuts

An awkward moment for a white guy

Hanging out with two Black guys.
"We should see a movie." "Hell, yeah." - Mark Normand: Soup to Nuts

Hanging out with two Black guys. "We should see a movie...

"It's on me." - Mark Normand: Soup to Nuts

My friend's like, "What's your problem?"
"I want to leave, but I can't." - Mark Normand: Soup to Nuts

My friend's like, "What's your...

He's like, "We did 400 years.
You can do two hours." - Mark Normand: Soup to Nuts

He's like, "We did 400 years. You can do two hours...

Can't have a Jewish mermaid,
'cause you guys can't fuck with shellfish. - Mark Normand: Soup to Nuts

Can't have a Jewish mermaid, 'cause you guys can&#...

Gonna be awkward when he goes,
"Rapunzel, let down your hair." - Mark Normand: Soup to Nuts

Gonna be awkward when he goes, "Rapunzel, let down your...

Driver's like, "We're full, buddy." - Mark Normand: Soup to Nuts

Driver's like, "We're full, buddy."

But sometimes you should
treat groups differently, you know? - Mark Normand: Soup to Nuts

But sometimes you should treat groups differently, you know?

If my white friend's getting wild,
"Dude, you're crazy. You're an animal." - Mark Normand: Soup to Nuts

If my white friend's getting wild, "Dude, you'...

We're all like, "It's a public space.
It's rude. Get the hell out of here." - Mark Normand: Soup to Nuts

We're all like, "It's a public space. It'...

He starts playing his music really loud.
We're all like, "Good tunes, brother." - Mark Normand: Soup to Nuts

He starts playing his music really loud. We're all like...

At a restaurant,
a Black guy's like, "I got you." - Mark Normand: Soup to Nuts

At a restaurant, a Black guy's like, "I got you.&q...

I pitched this great sitcom
about the 9/11 terrorists, - Mark Normand: Soup to Nuts

I pitched this great sitcom about the 9/11 terrorists,

People are getting sensitive.
My buddy is a vegan. Holy shit. - Mark Normand: Soup to Nuts

People are getting sensitive. My buddy is a vegan. Holy shit...

I'm walking on eggshells around him.
He really hates that. - Mark Normand: Soup to Nuts

I'm walking on eggshells around him. He really hates th...

Looks like meat, tastes like meat,
feels like meat, but it's not meat. - Mark Normand: Soup to Nuts

Looks like meat, tastes like meat, feels like meat, but it&#...

They always have funny names,
like The Manhole or The Back Door. - Mark Normand: Soup to Nuts

They always have funny names, like The Manhole or The Back D...

Where's all the fun lesbian bars?
Where's Clitz, with a z? - Mark Normand: Soup to Nuts

Where's all the fun lesbian bars? Where's Clitz, w...

Clitz. Perfect name for a lesbian bar,
'cause no guy could find it. - Mark Normand: Soup to Nuts

Clitz. Perfect name for a lesbian bar, 'cause no guy co...

All right. Yeah. - Mark Normand: Soup to Nuts

All right. Yeah.

But, hey, it's good you guys are out now, - Mark Normand: Soup to Nuts

But, hey, it's good you guys are out now,

The news is more twisted than ever.
Saw a news headline the other day. - Mark Normand: Soup to Nuts

The news is more twisted than ever. Saw a news headline the ...

"Transgender inmate
impregnates female prisoner." - Mark Normand: Soup to Nuts

"Transgender inmate impregnates female prisoner."

Man, the news is dark.
The news is more fucked-up than porn now. - Mark Normand: Soup to Nuts

Man, the news is dark. The news is more fucked-up than porn ...

I was at the Amtrak station the other day.
There was news on the wall, on TV. - Mark Normand: Soup to Nuts

I was at the Amtrak station the other day. There was news on...

"Man attacks multiple people on trains." - Mark Normand: Soup to Nuts

"Man attacks multiple people on trains."

Then it's, "Man runs a train
on multiple people." - Mark Normand: Soup to Nuts

Then it's, "Man runs a train on multiple people.&q...

The news is crazy. Isn't it weird
we have two news channels in America - Mark Normand: Soup to Nuts

The news is crazy. Isn't it weird we have two news chan...

Wouldn't that be insane,
if we had political, opinionated weather? - Mark Normand: Soup to Nuts

Wouldn't that be insane, if we had political, opinionat...

We're going to the beach tomorrow,
let's check the left-wing weather. - Mark Normand: Soup to Nuts

We're going to the beach tomorrow, let's check the...

"Hey, folks. 90 degrees outside.
Beautiful day for an abortion." - Mark Normand: Soup to Nuts

"Hey, folks. 90 degrees outside. Beautiful day for an a...

Let's check the right-wing weather.
Maybe that will be more informative. - Mark Normand: Soup to Nuts

Let's check the right-wing weather. Maybe that will be ...

"Hey, folks. Grab your boots,
it's 100% chance of storming the Capitol." - Mark Normand: Soup to Nuts

"Hey, folks. Grab your boots, it's 100% chance of ...

People make it their whole personality.
It's fricking exhausting. Yeah. - Mark Normand: Soup to Nuts

People make it their whole personality. It's fricking e...

I look at politicians
the same way I look at CBD gummies. - Mark Normand: Soup to Nuts

I look at politicians the same way I look at CBD gummies.

A lot of people believe in them,
but I'm not sure they do anything. - Mark Normand: Soup to Nuts

A lot of people believe in them, but I'm not sure they ...

"We're not in a recession,
it's a financial hiccup." - Mark Normand: Soup to Nuts

"We're not in a recession, it's a financial h...

They do it with everything.
"He's not obese, he's a person of size." - Mark Normand: Soup to Nuts

They do it with everything. "He's not obese, he�...

"He's not homeless, he's unhoused." - Mark Normand: Soup to Nuts

"He's not homeless, he's unhoused."

How long till bad guys start doing that?
"I'm not racist, I'm ethnically choosy." - Mark Normand: Soup to Nuts

How long till bad guys start doing that? "I'm not ...

"I'm not a school shooter,
I'm a student body minimizer." - Mark Normand: Soup to Nuts

"I'm not a school shooter, I'm a student body...

They stab. Isn't that nice?
It's kinda romantic. - Mark Normand: Soup to Nuts

They stab. Isn't that nice? It's kinda romantic.

Shooting somebody is like breaking up
via text. Easy, no mess. - Mark Normand: Soup to Nuts

Shooting somebody is like breaking up via text. Easy, no mes...

You see that look in their eye.
"I know. This is hard for me too." - Mark Normand: Soup to Nuts

You see that look in their eye. "I know. This is hard f...

Another reason women are better than men, - Mark Normand: Soup to Nuts

Another reason women are better than men,

What's going on there?
I googled it, there's been two. - Mark Normand: Soup to Nuts

What's going on there? I googled it, there's been ...

But I think if a high-school kid
buys a semiautomatic weapon, - Mark Normand: Soup to Nuts

But I think if a high-school kid buys a semiautomatic weapon...

He holds up the gun,
"If anyone has any objections, - Mark Normand: Soup to Nuts

He holds up the gun, "If anyone has any objections,

"I'm his uncle. I don't think he should
have that gun 'cause he was molested." - Mark Normand: Soup to Nuts

"I'm his uncle. I don't think he should have ...

They need to get laid, but it's harder
to get laid than it is to buy a gun. - Mark Normand: Soup to Nuts

They need to get laid, but it's harder to get laid than...

You can buy a gun at Walmart.
You don't wanna fuck anybody at Walmart. - Mark Normand: Soup to Nuts

You can buy a gun at Walmart. You don't wanna fuck anyb...

Some angry kid comes in,
"I need an AR-15." - Mark Normand: Soup to Nuts

Some angry kid comes in, "I need an AR-15."

Yeah. Then some kid has sex with her,
goes back to school, - Mark Normand: Soup to Nuts

Yeah. Then some kid has sex with her, goes back to school,

Have a good night. Comedy! Thank you. - Mark Normand: Soup to Nuts

Have a good night. Comedy! Thank you.

Mark Normand: Soup to Nuts poster

★ ★ ★ ★ ★

From awkward lap dances to the intimacy of letting one rip in front of a spouse, comedian Mark Normand unloads in this rapid-fire stand-up special.

User Rating: 0.0 (0 ratings)

Director: James Webb

Writer: Mark Normand

Production: N/A

Genre: comedy

Year: 2023

MetaScore: N/A/100

ImdbRating: 7.3

BoxOffice: N/A

Released: 25 Jul 2023

Awards: N/A

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