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Hawkeye Pierce: Frank Burns does not know his way around an operating theater, he does not know his way around a body. And if you will have observed anything, you will have observed that Major Frank Burns is an idiot. He has flipped his wig, that he's out of his head, that he's a lousy surgeon.
Hotlips O'Houlihan: Oh on the contrary, I have observed. And Major Burns is not only a good technical surgeon, he is a good military surgeon. I have also noticed that nurses as well as enlisted men address you as "Hawkeye".
Hawkeye Pierce: Yes because that's my name, Hawkeye Pierce.
Hotlips O'Houlihan: Well that kind of informality is inconsistent with maximum efficiency in a military organization.
Hawkeye Pierce: Oh come off it, MAJOR! You put me right off my fresh fried lobster, do you realize that? I'm now going to go back to my bed, I'm going to put away the best part of a bottle of scotch... And under normal circumstances, you being normally what I would call a very attractive woman, I would have invited you back to share my little bed with me you might possibly have come. But you really put me off. I mean you... You're what we call a regular army clown
Hotlips O'Houlihan: Oh on the contrary, I have observed. And Major Burns is not only a good technical surgeon, he is a good military surgeon. I have also noticed that nurses as well as enlisted men address you as "Hawkeye".
Hawkeye Pierce: Yes because that's my name, Hawkeye Pierce.
Hotlips O'Houlihan: Well that kind of informality is inconsistent with maximum efficiency in a military organization.
Hawkeye Pierce: Oh come off it, MAJOR! You put me right off my fresh fried lobster, do you realize that? I'm now going to go back to my bed, I'm going to put away the best part of a bottle of scotch... And under normal circumstances, you being normally what I would call a very attractive woman, I would have invited you back to share my little bed with me you might possibly have come. But you really put me off. I mean you... You're what we call a regular army clown
Full Transcript
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Frank Burns does not know his way around an operating theater
00:00:05.046 --> 00:00:08.715
He does not know his way around a body And if you will have observed anything
00:00:08.008 --> 00:00:11.076
you will have observed that Major Frank Burns is an idiot
00:00:11.844 --> 00:00:15.889
He has flipped his wig that he's out of his head that he's a lousy surgeon
00:00:15.974 --> 00:00:19.081
Oh on the contrary I have observed that Major Burns
00:00:19.894 --> 00:00:24.064
is not only a good technical surgeon he is a good military surgeon
00:00:24.148 --> 00:00:25.649
Finished
00:00:25.733 --> 00:00:30.821
I've also noticed that nurses as well as enlisted men address you as Hawkeye
00:00:30.905 --> 00:00:32.823
Yeah because that's my name Hawkeye Pierce
00:00:32.907 --> 00:00:36.284
Well that kind of informality is inconsistent with maximum efficiency
00:00:36.411 --> 00:00:39.246
in a military organization Oh come off it Major
00:00:41.124 --> 00:00:44.003
You put me right off my fresh fried lobster do you realize that
00:00:44.168 --> 00:00:48.213
I'm going to go back to my bed I'm gonna put away the best part of a bottle of scotch
00:00:48.297 --> 00:00:50.215
and under normal circumstances
00:00:50.299 --> 00:00:53.176
you being normally what I would call a very attractive woman
00:00:53.261 --> 00:00:55.846
I would have invited you back to share my little bed with me
00:00:55.093 --> 00:00:58.348
and you might possibly have come
00:00:58.433 --> 00:01:00.392
But you really put me off
00:01:00.476 --> 00:01:05.002
I mean you're what we call a regular army clown
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Movie Summary
The staff of a Korean War field hospital use humor and high jinks to keep their sanity in the face of the horror of war.
