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Trapper John:
Well, what's the matter with her today? Hawkeye Pierce:
I don't know, I think it's one of those ladies' things. Trapper John:
It's not like her to act like this. She's a bitch, look at my new flannel coat. She's going to have a nervous breakdown. Hawkeye Pierce:
She can't even get out of the door, look. [Hawkeye sits down with Frank] Hawkeye Pierce:
Morning, Frank. Heard from your wife? A bunch of the boys asked me to, uh, ask you, Frank, what Hot Lips was like in the sack. You know, was she... Frank Burns:
Mind your own business. Hawkeye Pierce:
No Frank, you know, is she better than self-abuse? Does that- does that big ass of hers move around a lot, Frank or does it sort of lie there flaccid? What would you say about that? Duke Forrest:
What's Going on over there, is he getting pointers or something? Trapper John:
Oh no, Hawkeye's trying to get him on an appearance tour. Duke Forrest:
Ohhhh, is that a fact? Hawkeye Pierce:
Would you say that she was a moaner, Frank? Seriously Frank. I mean, does she go "ooooh" Or does she lie there quiet and not do anything at all? Frank Burns:
Keep your filthy mouth to yourself. Hawkeye Pierce:
Or does she go "uh-uh-uh"? [Frank leaps over the table and attacks Hawkeye] Hawkeye Pierce:
Get him off me! I've got glasses. Get him off me! Duke Forrest:
What's going on, Frank? That lesson one? Hawkeye Pierce:
Frank Burns has gone nuts! I'm wearing glasses, for God's sake! Trapper John:
Watch out for your goodies, Hawkeye! That man is a sex maniac; I don't think Hot Lips satisfied him. Don't let him kiss you, Hawkeye!
Well, what's the matter with her today? Hawkeye Pierce:
I don't know, I think it's one of those ladies' things. Trapper John:
It's not like her to act like this. She's a bitch, look at my new flannel coat. She's going to have a nervous breakdown. Hawkeye Pierce:
She can't even get out of the door, look. [Hawkeye sits down with Frank] Hawkeye Pierce:
Morning, Frank. Heard from your wife? A bunch of the boys asked me to, uh, ask you, Frank, what Hot Lips was like in the sack. You know, was she... Frank Burns:
Mind your own business. Hawkeye Pierce:
No Frank, you know, is she better than self-abuse? Does that- does that big ass of hers move around a lot, Frank or does it sort of lie there flaccid? What would you say about that? Duke Forrest:
What's Going on over there, is he getting pointers or something? Trapper John:
Oh no, Hawkeye's trying to get him on an appearance tour. Duke Forrest:
Ohhhh, is that a fact? Hawkeye Pierce:
Would you say that she was a moaner, Frank? Seriously Frank. I mean, does she go "ooooh" Or does she lie there quiet and not do anything at all? Frank Burns:
Keep your filthy mouth to yourself. Hawkeye Pierce:
Or does she go "uh-uh-uh"? [Frank leaps over the table and attacks Hawkeye] Hawkeye Pierce:
Get him off me! I've got glasses. Get him off me! Duke Forrest:
What's going on, Frank? That lesson one? Hawkeye Pierce:
Frank Burns has gone nuts! I'm wearing glasses, for God's sake! Trapper John:
Watch out for your goodies, Hawkeye! That man is a sex maniac; I don't think Hot Lips satisfied him. Don't let him kiss you, Hawkeye!
Full Transcript
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Is that a fact
00:00:02.751 --> 00:00:04.962
Can you make out what they're saying
00:00:05.045 --> 00:00:11.468
Does that big ass of hers move around a lot Frank or does it sort of lie there flaccid
00:00:12.803 --> 00:00:16.265
Hawkeye's questioning the major on a point of anatomy
00:00:16.348 --> 00:00:18.434
Very professional
00:00:18.517 --> 00:00:22.605
Would you say that she was a moaner Frank
00:00:22.688 --> 00:00:26.275
What is Burns saying Major Burns isn't saying much of anything
00:00:26.358 --> 00:00:28.236
He's formulating the answer
00:00:28.032 --> 00:00:31.489
Seriously Frank Does she go
00:00:31.573 --> 00:00:34.492
Or does she lie there quiet and not do anything at all
00:00:34.576 --> 00:00:38.001
Keep your filthy mouth to yourself Or does she go
00:00:40.624 --> 00:00:42.834
Get him off me
00:00:42.918 --> 00:00:46.213
Get him off me Frank is that lesson one
00:00:46.671 --> 00:00:48.632
Frank Burns has gone nuts
00:00:53.595 --> 00:00:55.847
I'm wearing glasses for God's sake
00:00:55.931 --> 00:01:01.311
Watch out for your goodies He's a sex maniac I don't think Hot Lips satisfied him
00:01:02.896 --> 00:01:04.999
Don't let him kiss you Hawkeye
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Movie Summary
The staff of a Korean War field hospital use humor and high jinks to keep their sanity in the face of the horror of war.
