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Matt Rife: Only Fans

Matt Rife's debut comedy special culminating his first ten years of doing stand-up comedy.

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Matt Rife

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Genre

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N/A

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N/A

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Explore 394 Clips

And the code to your bathroom is... 4, 7... - Matt Rife: Only Fans

And the code to your bathroom is... 4, 7...

Man the masks made it so hard to holler at people, didn't it? - Matt Rife: Only Fans

Man the masks made it so hard to holler at people,...

Because you don't know what 60% of their face - Matt Rife: Only Fans

Because you don't know what 60% of their face

You've got to come up with some, like, - Matt Rife: Only Fans

You've got to come up with some, like,

And you’ve been chatting forever - Matt Rife: Only Fans

And you’ve been chatting forever

I guess I could give you a - Matt Rife: Only Fans

I guess I could give you a

I talk to you for an hour, - Matt Rife: Only Fans

I talk to you for an hour,

I had no idea. - Matt Rife: Only Fans

But I like ‘em. I'm a big fan of not judging people - Matt Rife: Only Fans

But I like ‘em. I'm a big fan of not judging people

Because if there's one thing we all have in common, - Matt Rife: Only Fans

Because if there's one thing we all have in common,

Right? Everybody in here is dealing with
some shit that nobody else - Matt Rife: Only Fans

Right? Everybody in here is dealing with some shit that nobo...

Like one thing you might not know is - Matt Rife: Only Fans

Like one thing you might not know is

Bad random shit happens to me all the time. - Matt Rife: Only Fans

Bad random shit happens to me all the time.

And I'll tell you an incredibly embarrassing and humbling story. - Matt Rife: Only Fans

And I'll tell you an incredibly embarrassing and...

Last year - Matt Rife: Only Fans

On my nipples. - Matt Rife: Only Fans

Last year I ended up developing this freak medical condition. - Matt Rife: Only Fans

Last year I ended up developing this freak medical...

It only happens to like 12-year-old boys and 80-year-old men. - Matt Rife: Only Fans

It only happens to like 12-year-old boys and 80-year-old...

I was like: First of all, I'm up here. Second... - Matt Rife: Only Fans

I was like: First of all, I'm up here. Second...

It was this freak condition that was causing the breast tissue, - Matt Rife: Only Fans

It was this freak condition that was causing the breast...

Bench about 285, 8 to 10 reps... - Matt Rife: Only Fans

Bench about 285, 8 to 10 reps...

It was causing the breast tissue to grow - Matt Rife: Only Fans

It was causing the breast tissue to grow

Now, before your imaginations start running - Matt Rife: Only Fans

Now, before your imaginations start running

Whatever image you're drawing up in your head, get it out of there. - Matt Rife: Only Fans

Whatever image you're drawing up in your head, get it...

If you had never see me shirtless - Matt Rife: Only Fans

If you had never see me shirtless

If something's off just the littlest bit, - Matt Rife: Only Fans

If something's off just the littlest bit,

I was like, if it starts messing with business - Matt Rife: Only Fans

I was like, if it starts messing with business

So I go to the doctor - Matt Rife: Only Fans

So I go to the doctor

I'm like: up! - Matt Rife: Only Fans

He explains to me, that it's actually
an irreversible condition, - Matt Rife: Only Fans

He explains to me, that it's actually an irreversible c...

I was like, alright man,
what's the damage on something like that? - Matt Rife: Only Fans

I was like, alright man, what's the damage on something...

And he explains to me that this surgery is going to be $9,000, - Matt Rife: Only Fans

And he explains to me that this surgery is going to be...

$9,000 in the middle of the pandemic, - Matt Rife: Only Fans

$9,000 in the middle of the pandemic,

I been performing in pickup trucks and Kmart parking lots - Matt Rife: Only Fans

I been performing in pickup trucks and Kmart parking lots

I definitely didn't have $9,000 - Matt Rife: Only Fans

I definitely didn't have $9,000

So if you think my life is just, oh, so easy - Matt Rife: Only Fans

So if you think my life is just, oh, so easy

Am I about to drop $9,000 on something that’s - Matt Rife: Only Fans

Am I about to drop $9,000 on something that’s

Or do I drop $10,000... - Matt Rife: Only Fans

Or do I drop $10,000...

Get these titties - Matt Rife: Only Fans

Get these titties

Straight up. - Matt Rife: Only Fans

Oh, I didn't need to tell you all that. - Matt Rife: Only Fans

Oh, I didn't need to tell you all that.

I'll let you suck one for 30 seconds, let’s- - Matt Rife: Only Fans

I'll let you suck one for 30 seconds, let’s-

I thought things would be different. - Matt Rife: Only Fans

I thought things would be different.

I thought things would be easier - Matt Rife: Only Fans

I thought things would be easier

Just personal preference, - Matt Rife: Only Fans

Just personal preference,

Oh my god, such a sweet spot. Oh, - Matt Rife: Only Fans

Oh my god, such a sweet spot. Oh,

I also don't know if you match the criteria - Matt Rife: Only Fans

I also don't know if you match the criteria

That's a solid cereal joke, okay? - Matt Rife: Only Fans

That's a solid cereal joke, okay?

Because if you fuck with Cap'n Crunch. - Matt Rife: Only Fans

Because if you fuck with Cap'n Crunch.

If you fuck with Cap’n Crunch, you know, it's a very fine window - Matt Rife: Only Fans

If you fuck with Cap’n Crunch, you know, it's a very...

If you want to - Matt Rife: Only Fans

If you have a crock pot, I will shut shit down - Matt Rife: Only Fans

If you have a crock pot, I will shut shit down

But I don't want to make false promises - Matt Rife: Only Fans

But I don't want to make false promises

I fully believe women have sex so much easier than men. - Matt Rife: Only Fans

I fully believe women have sex so much easier than men.

Dudes... dudes come outta her pussy like this: - Matt Rife: Only Fans

Dudes... dudes come outta her pussy like this:

That's your only responsibility - Matt Rife: Only Fans

That's your only responsibility

Do you realize - Matt Rife: Only Fans

If you fuckers leave me - Matt Rife: Only Fans

If you fuckers leave me

Ya’ll gonna disrespect me like this - Matt Rife: Only Fans

Ya’ll gonna disrespect me like this

Hilarious, you guys. - Matt Rife: Only Fans

Hilarious, you guys.

Would you be mad if your food came out early - Matt Rife: Only Fans

Would you be mad if your food came out early

I know you got to take your kids
to school in the morning, so... - Matt Rife: Only Fans

I know you got to take your kids to school in the morning, s...

The build up is fun, though... - Matt Rife: Only Fans

The build up is fun, though...

Of what we can't wait to do to y'all - Matt Rife: Only Fans

Of what we can't wait to do to y'all

We’re like the J.K. Rowling of dick pics - Matt Rife: Only Fans

We’re like the J.K. Rowling of dick pics

We set the bar too high we say crazy stuff - Matt Rife: Only Fans

We set the bar too high we say crazy stuff

You've been to my house, I got blinds - Matt Rife: Only Fans

You've been to my house, I got blinds

I lied recently - Matt Rife: Only Fans

I lied recently

I was sexting with this girl and like,
I could see where she was going with it, - Matt Rife: Only Fans

I was sexting with this girl and like, I could see where she...

I'm only 103 pounds - Matt Rife: Only Fans

I'm only 103 pounds

But on the inside I was like, - Matt Rife: Only Fans

But on the inside I was like,

It's light work? Pick me up, then how 'bout- - Matt Rife: Only Fans

It's light work? Pick me up, then how 'bout-

I haven't done a deadlift since 10th grade - Matt Rife: Only Fans

I haven't done a deadlift since 10th grade

Now I got to fuck you with one of those weight trainer belts - Matt Rife: Only Fans

Now I got to fuck you with one of those weight trainer belts

Mexicans be in the gym doin' all arms - Matt Rife: Only Fans

Mexicans be in the gym doin' all arms

That's why, like, the first date's always the hardest - Matt Rife: Only Fans

That's why, like, the first date's always the...

And that's so tough because...
there's a lot of shit I don't like. - Matt Rife: Only Fans

And that's so tough because... there's a lot of sh...

I'll list a couple of red flags for it - Matt Rife: Only Fans

I'll list a couple of red flags for it

Red flag number one - Matt Rife: Only Fans

Red flag number one

And you date a hot girl for long enough, at some point - Matt Rife: Only Fans

And you date a hot girl for long enough, at some point

Are you out of your fucking mind? - Matt Rife: Only Fans

Are you out of your fucking mind?

People. Get fucked. On boats. - Matt Rife: Only Fans

People. Get fucked. On boats.

It's been in front of us the whole time. - Matt Rife: Only Fans

It's been in front of us the whole time.

My girl not gettin' on no boats. - Matt Rife: Only Fans

My girl not gettin' on no boats.

No kayaks, - Matt Rife: Only Fans

You're not working up a sweat next to another man. - Matt Rife: Only Fans

You're not working up a sweat next to another man.

Because it's a beautiful story about a chick
who cheats on her man - Matt Rife: Only Fans

Because it's a beautiful story about a chick who cheats...

While her boyfriend is on the ship! - Matt Rife: Only Fans

While her boyfriend is on the ship!

You got big boat energy right now - Matt Rife: Only Fans

You got big boat energy right now

Red flag number two: - Matt Rife: Only Fans

Red flag number two:

Matt Rife: Only Fans poster

★ ★ ★ ★ ★

Matt Rife's debut comedy special culminating his first ten years of doing stand-up comedy.

User Rating: 0.0 (0 ratings)

Director: Matt Rife

Writer: Matt Rife

Production: N/A

Genre: comedy

Year: 2021

MetaScore: N/A/100

ImdbRating: 6.4

BoxOffice: N/A

Released: 17 Dec 2021

Awards: N/A

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