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I've never done heroin, but I imagine
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Matt Rife: Only Fans

I've never done heroin, but I imagine you want to sit down

I've never done heroin, but I imagine you want to sit down

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:02.377
I've never done heroin, but I imagine
00:00:02.377 --> 00:00:05.171
you want to sit down.
Duration
5 seconds
Views
29
Timestamp in Movie
00:10:55
Uploaded
May 23, 2025
Genres
comedy
Production
N/A

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Movie Summary

Matt Rife's debut comedy special culminating his first ten years of doing stand-up comedy.
Okay, I'm just giving you a little perspective - Matt Rife: Only Fans 00:04
Okay, I'm just giving you a little perspective
Okay, and it’s so weird for me. My looks are so confusing to me - Matt Rife: Only Fans 00:09
Okay, and it’s so weird for me. My looks are so confusing to...
I was ugly as shit for the first 22 years of my life. - Matt Rife: Only Fans 00:05
I was ugly as shit for the first 22 years of my life.
Like I was so ugly. - Matt Rife: Only Fans 00:04
Like I was so ugly.
I spent the first 22 years of my life - Matt Rife: Only Fans 00:08
I spent the first 22 years of my life
It’s gotten me nowhere. - Matt Rife: Only Fans 00:04
It’s gotten me nowhere.
And it's so weird because when you spend - Matt Rife: Only Fans 00:14
And it's so weird because when you spend
Like I know I look like every fuck boy ever, - Matt Rife: Only Fans 00:07
Like I know I look like every fuck boy ever,
So um, I think that does technically make me trans - Matt Rife: Only Fans 00:11
So um, I think that does technically make me trans
It's such a drastic lifestyle change too, because - Matt Rife: Only Fans 00:06
It's such a drastic lifestyle change too, because
You assume their lives are easier, - Matt Rife: Only Fans 00:15
You assume their lives are easier,
That's how fucked up it is, that I could come up here and vent to y’all.. - Matt Rife: Only Fans 00:04
That's how fucked up it is, that I could come up here a...
No one gives a fuck how sad you are - Matt Rife: Only Fans 00:05
No one gives a fuck how sad you are
I could be crying my eyes out in bed and people are just like, wh-... - Matt Rife: Only Fans 00:04
I could be crying my eyes out in bed and people are just...
I bet you're just swimming in pussy and it's like, - Matt Rife: Only Fans 00:08
I bet you're just swimming in pussy and it's like,
Believe it or not, someone who listens to me, I can't even hang myself - Matt Rife: Only Fans 00:08
Believe it or not, someone who listens to me, I can't...
There is no sympathy for pretty people. - Matt Rife: Only Fans 00:04
There is no sympathy for pretty people.
Everybody's dealing with shit. - Matt Rife: Only Fans 00:04
Everybody's dealing with shit.
Next time you're in bed having the worst day - Matt Rife: Only Fans 00:07
Next time you're in bed having the worst day
Just remember - Matt Rife: Only Fans 00:06
Just remember